So here we are, about 6 weeks left assuming like my last 2 pregnancies, baby is ready before his due date. I know I say this all the time but gosh it has gone so fast!
So recent symptoms...
Sleep has become near impossible to achieve, when I lie on my side bub kicks and stretches and it is quite painful. His little limbs go everywhere like I've got a little octopus in there. My partner and I have joked about the ultrasound being wrong and that there's 2 in there but I'm definitely not big enough for twins ;) As much as I love being able to feel him move so much more than I remember with my other 2, it is getting more painful the bigger he gets and I want him to rotate from posterior to anterior. So I've been crawling around the house and rocking on my gym ball, my partner thinks it is hilarious of course, me big and pregnant crawling around after the kids.
I'm waddling big time, I swear I give new meaning to waddling right now. I can feel my entire body rock left to right and there's not a thing I can do to stop it, I can't help but laugh at myself.
I'm feeling the dreaded 3rd trimester exhaustion, I want to sleep ALL THE TIME, but obviously I can't with 2 little ones running around.
My belly is stretching but no sign of new stretch marks yet, if my last 2 pregnancies are anything to go by I shall be seeing them pop up in the next 2 weeks, I'm not bothered by stretch marks in the slightest, I like having new ones each time, a mark on my body to remember the pregnancy. I have a tattoo (and plan more when I'm done breastfeeding) but I admit, there's nothing more beautiful to me than one nature gives me. My skin is looking a little red and under my belly button I have a strip where it's lighter than the rest, not unlike the linea nigra, just white instead, it's something I've never come across before. My skin itches like crazy after I've eaten, and I always seem to eat too much for the tiny space left for my stomach to expand. My ribs on my right side are spreading out more than the left, it's incredibly painful.
I've started to feel nauseated and have thrown up a couple of times in the last 2 days, I hope it doesn't continue. I've noticed it is much worse when I haven't had enough sleep, or a good enough sleep. DS is nursing still but once he's nursed to sleep he generally stays asleep until about 5am when my partner gets up and plays with him so I get to stay in bed and sleep (isn't he such a sweetheart :))
We have been discussing what is going to happen when bub gets here, I've pretty much told my DF that I will not be refusing to nurse DS. He was never totally ok with DS nursing past 2 (because unless it's happening it's hard to imagine, when DD weaned at 16 months I couldn't imagine nursing a 20 month old.. now I am and it's just as normal as it was to nurse a newborn), or tandem but has realised it's just out of our control if we don't want to resort to Cry-It-Out. I think he is still secretly hoping DS will wean but I know it won't be happening, he nurses to sleep most times and whenever he's hurt or upset.
We will be moving in the next week or so, so I'll finally be able to start nesting. I'm in love with the new place, there's a bath so I don't have to worry too much about needing a pool to labour and birth in. Also, it's not so close to any of the neighbours, we'll be on 1/2 an acre so I won't be worrying about the neighbours calling the cops thinking I'm being murdered or something horrible like that if I happen to roar my baby out this time.
I keep dreaming about the birth. Very strange dreams where my back is aching and all of a sudden I get the urge to push and pop, out comes baby. I can keep dreaming about a painless labour even though I know it's unlikely to happen. I catch myself thinking about what he will look like, whether he will cry or not (DS didn't cry, he just cooed and made those sweet little baby sounds newborns do), will he be an easy labour or will be be more difficult, will he be born in the caul or not, will my son and daughter be there or will they be asleep, will one be up and not the other, will labour begin at night or during the day... I try very hard not to focus on the negatives, like what if he needs help after being born, if I need help during labour, what if I need a c-section or something. I'm reading about complications constantly, reading out what I'm reading while my partner sits beside me and listens. We discuss what could happen, what we would do, what would need to happen if ____ was to happen. Necessary of course, we have a backup plan but I hope very much that we never need to resort to that.
My mother in law is coming up to visit, she's planning to come up a couple of days before my due date. I'm not entirely sure if I'll be asking her to attend the birth or not, assuming bub isn't born by then. She's fully aware we're planning to freebirth, she even knows I'm doing my own prenatal care, and you know what's cool about that?? She's totally fine with it!! She says she trusts us and trusts our baby will be born safely, whether or not it includes hospital transfer. My parents are ambulance officers so I have not and will not be telling them, I know they will only worry.
I am planning to record the birth, I may or may not edit to share on youtube but I want people to see physiological birth.
And that's all for now, DS is nursing to sleep but it's difficult to type and nurse a toddler while pregnant ;)
Showing posts with label Unassisted/Free Pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Unassisted/Free Pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
25 weeks 3 days
I am feeling very pregnant now, my fundus is clearly above my navel and when I sit my belly looks like a basket ball stuffed under my shirt. It's quite cute. I love having a round belly, it's the only time in my life I feel completely at ease with my body, and can see beauty. I normally don't, I'm not the kind of person who looks in the mirror and is satisfied with what I see.
I can feel my baby roll and kick, now I can feel movement everywhere. Most of the kicks are low or to my side, occasionally at the very top. Most of the movement tells me DS2 is hanging out transverse, but it is still quite difficult to feel him. My partner tells me it's the placenta getting in the way at the moment, because he can't feel defined shapes and DS2 likes to wriggle around a lot. It's seriously never ending! My partner and I were feeling him kick this week and DD comes up and wanted to have a feel. Her face lit up like it was the best thing in the world, since then she's been telling everyone 'There's a baby in there and the baby's kicking!!'
I bought my BP cuff and stethoscope, I am impressed by the quality for a cheap ebay purchase. The steth is better than the one I had when I was studying nursing and that one wasn't cheap. Mine was attacked by mould because the box was damaged in the move, so I'm pretty happy I have a better replacement. I checked my BP and as I thought, my BP is low normal but totally normal for me, it was at 110/60.
I measured my belly this week, fundus is 24.5cm, and my waist is now 101.5cm or 39.5 inches around. at 22 weeks it was 98cm so I've grown a bit. My poor belly button is stretched so bad it stings an itches often, especially when I've been sitting a while. It's kind of popped out, but I don't think there's much more there to stick out, it's nearly completely flat ;) I've got stretch marks popping up too, but my old ones remain silver unlike my last pregnancy they all went red again but DS was MUCH bigger than DD, by the time I hit 35 weeks with him I was bigger than I was the day I gave birth to DD. I don't mind, my stretch marks aren't ugly, instead they are a mark of what I have done and it's something I am proud of. They're my mama stripes, and I earned them.
My hip has stopped giving me grief at the moment, I get back aches and such still but I can walk with only a little waddle and haven't had a sciatica flare up. It's getting really uncomfortable to sleep though, everything is beginning to hurt. Co-sleeping isn't working anymore, if DS is near he will nurse what feels like ALLLLL night... I was running on just a few hours sleep for 2 days, it was getting to me. I started to feel very depressed, and cried a lot those few days, my partner is working a lot at the moment so I was beginning to get desperate for a nap or just 5 minutes to myself. I'm a bit short tempered too, I admit I'm not the perfect mum, I do yell but I always apologise to the kids. I feel pretty guilty taking out my own frustrations on them, it's not their fault. I sat on the floor while my kids watched a Peppa Pig dvd and just cried after I said sorry. I do remember I get emotional at this stage in my pregnancies, fortunately I know it won't last.
DS is beginning to wean, I can see the end, sort of. He nursed once yesterday (not including when he woke for a nurse in the night) and it was at night to go to sleep for the first time that night. He woke just before we were about to head to bed and he made no effort to nurse when I cuddled him. I did out of habit offer it but he was too sleepy, good thing too, I need to get out of the habit of offering all the time.. so much for don't offer don't refuse, I really did try but if he's grizzy the boob will sort him out, so I just do it. I felt odd not nursing that day until that night, so much of my last 18 months have involved a heck of a lot of breastfeeding. I am not sure what he's doing with his latch though, it looked and felt wrong at one point (and some other times recently) where he seems to be chewing rather than nursing. I shouldn't get upset if he's losing the desire to properly nurse because I WANT him to wean on his own, preferably soon. However, I am feeling overwhelmed with so many changes all of a sudden, deep down I wonder if I will ever be 100% ready, I don't miss nursing my DD but I sure wasn't ready for her to wean when she did either so I know eventually I'll get over it. I am gratetful I have had the chance to give my babies breastmilk into their second year, and grateful for the bond it created.
I bought a new bra because my old nursing bras have deteriorated to the point of no longer holding up the girls. So, I checked out K-mart and found THE most comfortable nursing bra I have ever, ever, ever worn. It's seamless and feels like a sports bra, no hooks at the back but it has the clips :) The padding is fantastic too, gives me some shape back unlike any past nursing bra so no more feeling like my boobs are sitting on my belly, they are on my chest again ;) I'm not the smallest when it comes to my bra size, I've been a 10E for as long as I've been breastfeeding so it's expensive and difficult to find a nursing bra. The K-mart one came with 2, for only $20, can't be disappointed in that! Normally I have no choice but to pay $50 upwards for just the one. I'm practically living in it because it's that comfy ;) So, if you are interested, look out for the K-mart brand seamless maternity bra that looks like a sports bra :)
Before I go, I want to say that my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy. I hope everyone stays safe. And if you celebrate halloween, have fun!
Peace, Love & Light xo
I can feel my baby roll and kick, now I can feel movement everywhere. Most of the kicks are low or to my side, occasionally at the very top. Most of the movement tells me DS2 is hanging out transverse, but it is still quite difficult to feel him. My partner tells me it's the placenta getting in the way at the moment, because he can't feel defined shapes and DS2 likes to wriggle around a lot. It's seriously never ending! My partner and I were feeling him kick this week and DD comes up and wanted to have a feel. Her face lit up like it was the best thing in the world, since then she's been telling everyone 'There's a baby in there and the baby's kicking!!'
I bought my BP cuff and stethoscope, I am impressed by the quality for a cheap ebay purchase. The steth is better than the one I had when I was studying nursing and that one wasn't cheap. Mine was attacked by mould because the box was damaged in the move, so I'm pretty happy I have a better replacement. I checked my BP and as I thought, my BP is low normal but totally normal for me, it was at 110/60.
I measured my belly this week, fundus is 24.5cm, and my waist is now 101.5cm or 39.5 inches around. at 22 weeks it was 98cm so I've grown a bit. My poor belly button is stretched so bad it stings an itches often, especially when I've been sitting a while. It's kind of popped out, but I don't think there's much more there to stick out, it's nearly completely flat ;) I've got stretch marks popping up too, but my old ones remain silver unlike my last pregnancy they all went red again but DS was MUCH bigger than DD, by the time I hit 35 weeks with him I was bigger than I was the day I gave birth to DD. I don't mind, my stretch marks aren't ugly, instead they are a mark of what I have done and it's something I am proud of. They're my mama stripes, and I earned them.
My hip has stopped giving me grief at the moment, I get back aches and such still but I can walk with only a little waddle and haven't had a sciatica flare up. It's getting really uncomfortable to sleep though, everything is beginning to hurt. Co-sleeping isn't working anymore, if DS is near he will nurse what feels like ALLLLL night... I was running on just a few hours sleep for 2 days, it was getting to me. I started to feel very depressed, and cried a lot those few days, my partner is working a lot at the moment so I was beginning to get desperate for a nap or just 5 minutes to myself. I'm a bit short tempered too, I admit I'm not the perfect mum, I do yell but I always apologise to the kids. I feel pretty guilty taking out my own frustrations on them, it's not their fault. I sat on the floor while my kids watched a Peppa Pig dvd and just cried after I said sorry. I do remember I get emotional at this stage in my pregnancies, fortunately I know it won't last.
DS is beginning to wean, I can see the end, sort of. He nursed once yesterday (not including when he woke for a nurse in the night) and it was at night to go to sleep for the first time that night. He woke just before we were about to head to bed and he made no effort to nurse when I cuddled him. I did out of habit offer it but he was too sleepy, good thing too, I need to get out of the habit of offering all the time.. so much for don't offer don't refuse, I really did try but if he's grizzy the boob will sort him out, so I just do it. I felt odd not nursing that day until that night, so much of my last 18 months have involved a heck of a lot of breastfeeding. I am not sure what he's doing with his latch though, it looked and felt wrong at one point (and some other times recently) where he seems to be chewing rather than nursing. I shouldn't get upset if he's losing the desire to properly nurse because I WANT him to wean on his own, preferably soon. However, I am feeling overwhelmed with so many changes all of a sudden, deep down I wonder if I will ever be 100% ready, I don't miss nursing my DD but I sure wasn't ready for her to wean when she did either so I know eventually I'll get over it. I am gratetful I have had the chance to give my babies breastmilk into their second year, and grateful for the bond it created.
I bought a new bra because my old nursing bras have deteriorated to the point of no longer holding up the girls. So, I checked out K-mart and found THE most comfortable nursing bra I have ever, ever, ever worn. It's seamless and feels like a sports bra, no hooks at the back but it has the clips :) The padding is fantastic too, gives me some shape back unlike any past nursing bra so no more feeling like my boobs are sitting on my belly, they are on my chest again ;) I'm not the smallest when it comes to my bra size, I've been a 10E for as long as I've been breastfeeding so it's expensive and difficult to find a nursing bra. The K-mart one came with 2, for only $20, can't be disappointed in that! Normally I have no choice but to pay $50 upwards for just the one. I'm practically living in it because it's that comfy ;) So, if you are interested, look out for the K-mart brand seamless maternity bra that looks like a sports bra :)
Before I go, I want to say that my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy. I hope everyone stays safe. And if you celebrate halloween, have fun!
Peace, Love & Light xo
Thursday, 6 September 2012
17 weeks 5 days update
17 weeks 5 days.
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
15 weeks 1 day update.
Fifteen weeks one day update!!
I'm beginning to feel better, I'm only throwing up once or twice a day now. It's still horrible and my body aches for quite some time afterwards so I feel weak often but I'm getting through it. I got to weigh myself for the first time since before we concieved (we finally found batteries for our electric scales) where I was between 57kg -60kg I now weigh about 58.8kg, it's too difficult at this point in time to work out if I lost or gained... probably both.
 |
| 14 weeks 6 day belly shot :) |
I have been sleeping a fair bit lately, whenever my partner is off work he tells me to go sleep while he entertains the kids. I'm so grateful for him. I haven't felt so tired in a long time. There have been times where I can't really move around much. I suspect my iron levels are low. I look forward to when I don't feel so tired anymore...
I have literally NO appetite, yet I get hunger pains often. I'm trying so hard to eat well. I'm literally force feeding myself at the moment.
I've been playing with my doppler, I know I said I wouldn't use it much, but I haven't been using it much each time, just long enough to hear the heart beat. I find it reassuring when I have been feeling rather crampy, which is happening more often this pregnancy. The heart rate still jumps around a lot, anywhere from 130 to 170. My womb feels incredibly heavy, we've tried to feel for the fundus and it seems to be up near my navel.. it's hard to tell though, I can't feel it too well right now because it's still pretty early and I can't do it the same as midwives on myself, and DF can't feel things too subtle (he's a chef, he's injured his hands a lot over the years...) but both of us think it's about 2-3cm below my navel. I knew a third pregnancy is supposed to be entirely unpredictable but seriously?Everything is so different this time.
I'm due to have the morphology scan some time in September, I've got to book it eventually. I'm so curious as to what the sex of the baby is... I don't really have any strong feelings anymore.. earlier it was girl, now I don't know...
Not much else is happening at the moment. So until next time.
Peace, Love & Light.
Friday, 10 August 2012
Fetal tones at 13+4
I played with my doppler today, and I got a lovely strong sound. For fun, I recorded it ;)
I am 13+4, bub likes to chill out on my right side. I am 100% sure I have another anterior placenta, it's sitting near the top, a little to the right, it's so easy to find when you can hear it, it's a slower whooshing sound, similar to the maternal pulse. Nowhere near as fast as baby.
So here it is, the fetal tones at 13 weeks and 4 days, with an anterior placenta. The first time I've EVER heart a heart beat at this gestation, because most midwives don't start checking until later in the pregnancy, I think with my first it was 14 weeks when the OB tried, she ended up getting the ultrasound so we only saw it, we heard it at 18 weeks, and about 18 weeks with DS. I'd be waiting another month if I was not doing it myself.
DF is THRILLED we can do it ourselves, he loves the idea of checking the heart himself. Since catching his son, he's become more interested in birthy stuff, he understands things more (I've never had a C-section but he's very familiar with the terms VBAC and VBa2C, HBAC etc...I think he's aware I have a soft spot for VBACs) , and honestly, I LOVE teaching him this stuff, I get to talk birth as much as I want... except I'm not allowed to watch One Born Every Minute with him in the room, I yell at the tv a lot, as much as I cry like a baby when the baby is born. They treat birth like a xenomorph is going to explode out of the vagina... (if you have ever seen the Alien movies, you'll know what I mean) and as much as I am addicted to that first moment when mum meets baby it really does bother me, and I probably would be happier not watching it...
So anyway, there it is, my baby's heart beat at 13 weeks 4 days gestation. Something I thought I would share with the world :)
Peace, Love & light.
I am 13+4, bub likes to chill out on my right side. I am 100% sure I have another anterior placenta, it's sitting near the top, a little to the right, it's so easy to find when you can hear it, it's a slower whooshing sound, similar to the maternal pulse. Nowhere near as fast as baby.
So here it is, the fetal tones at 13 weeks and 4 days, with an anterior placenta. The first time I've EVER heart a heart beat at this gestation, because most midwives don't start checking until later in the pregnancy, I think with my first it was 14 weeks when the OB tried, she ended up getting the ultrasound so we only saw it, we heard it at 18 weeks, and about 18 weeks with DS. I'd be waiting another month if I was not doing it myself.
So anyway, there it is, my baby's heart beat at 13 weeks 4 days gestation. Something I thought I would share with the world :)
Peace, Love & light.
Friday, 3 August 2012
12 weeks 5 days
I am 13 weeks in 2 days, and I think I've pulled a muscle from throwing up.
I feel bruised and it's uncomfortable to move and breathe, it hurts worse after being sick, which is at least 4 times a day. Ginger isn't working so I'm focusing on getting food in and drinking plenty, I feel great when the nausea goes so I know I'm getting enough in. I'm gaining weight and I've got a little round belly.
DS is cutting down his nursing, he nurses about 4 times a day and sleeps almost through the night without waking to nurse. He's cutting his inscisors, all 4 currently, so I suspect he may cut down more, part of me is glad, another part of me desperately wants him to nurse as long as he wants not because I'm pregnant and milk supply is going. I love breastfeeding him, it settles him 99% of the time, not that he's an unsettled one, for the most part he's pretty chilled ;)
I'm taking each day as it comes, I hope to at least nurse DS until he is 18 months, I'd really be happy if he weans later rather than sooner. I won't mnd tandem if that means only nursing DS before he sleeps, but there's no way I can cope with a newborn and nursing DS as often as he does now. Because I'm running out of milk, I give him drinks of water rather than nurse, as much as I really didn't want to, I'm leading weaning. Hoping it happens slowly but not too slowly. We'll just have to see how things are going.
I'm waiting for my doppler to arrive, I can't wait to finally hear the heart tones. We only plan 1, at 20 weeks to check out how bub's growing and rule out things that may complicate birth and rule out things that would require immediate high care, something we cannot provide. We're not having the genetic testing, or any blood tests at all.
We are getting blood typing cards, because we should be able to use whatever cord blood there is (after the 3rd stage is over) to determine blood tupe. The ones we're looking at will tells us if he/she is rh neg or rh pos, it will be easy to call my gp or head to the hospital for the rh shot within 72 hours of birth, I'm considering having the shot at 35 weeks or maybe a little sooner, since it lasts for about 12 weeks but I'm looking more into it at the moment before I make my decision. I have plenty of time.
I'm going to get vit k supplements for myself, DS had the vit k shot after birth because he was very bruised, he looked red in pictures for a while, his eyes were very red they were too dark to see what colour his eyes were (see pic) at the time the red concerned me so I gave permission for the shot, the only one my son has had in his life (he is vax free).
I am not sure of my family's history, but I am aware my father had an issue with bruising as a child (he would roll around and the floor and be covered) which was why I agreed to the shot and not asked for the oral vit k, I was concerned he was already bleeding. I need to find out exactly what the issue was with my dad, so I know if I should have the oral one on hand or if me taking extra will be ok. I don't intend to not have the vit k altogether.
I am currently saving to get The Healing Passage, a book for midwives on tearing, I tore nearly 3rd degree, and although I know exactly why I tore that badly (I ignored my body telling me to pant while he was crowning) I want to know more. I tore internally, very unlike an episiotomy so I don't have scarring that I can feel/ massage prior to birth, I hope this means if I control the pushing stage, I can avoid tearing altogether like with my first (I only had grazes). I'm not afraid of tearing anymore though, it's way less painful than a broken coccyx ;)
That's it for now. DS has nursed to sleep so it's time to move him to bed.
Peace, Love & Light
I feel bruised and it's uncomfortable to move and breathe, it hurts worse after being sick, which is at least 4 times a day. Ginger isn't working so I'm focusing on getting food in and drinking plenty, I feel great when the nausea goes so I know I'm getting enough in. I'm gaining weight and I've got a little round belly.
DS is cutting down his nursing, he nurses about 4 times a day and sleeps almost through the night without waking to nurse. He's cutting his inscisors, all 4 currently, so I suspect he may cut down more, part of me is glad, another part of me desperately wants him to nurse as long as he wants not because I'm pregnant and milk supply is going. I love breastfeeding him, it settles him 99% of the time, not that he's an unsettled one, for the most part he's pretty chilled ;)
I'm taking each day as it comes, I hope to at least nurse DS until he is 18 months, I'd really be happy if he weans later rather than sooner. I won't mnd tandem if that means only nursing DS before he sleeps, but there's no way I can cope with a newborn and nursing DS as often as he does now. Because I'm running out of milk, I give him drinks of water rather than nurse, as much as I really didn't want to, I'm leading weaning. Hoping it happens slowly but not too slowly. We'll just have to see how things are going.
I'm waiting for my doppler to arrive, I can't wait to finally hear the heart tones. We only plan 1, at 20 weeks to check out how bub's growing and rule out things that may complicate birth and rule out things that would require immediate high care, something we cannot provide. We're not having the genetic testing, or any blood tests at all.
We are getting blood typing cards, because we should be able to use whatever cord blood there is (after the 3rd stage is over) to determine blood tupe. The ones we're looking at will tells us if he/she is rh neg or rh pos, it will be easy to call my gp or head to the hospital for the rh shot within 72 hours of birth, I'm considering having the shot at 35 weeks or maybe a little sooner, since it lasts for about 12 weeks but I'm looking more into it at the moment before I make my decision. I have plenty of time.
I'm going to get vit k supplements for myself, DS had the vit k shot after birth because he was very bruised, he looked red in pictures for a while, his eyes were very red they were too dark to see what colour his eyes were (see pic) at the time the red concerned me so I gave permission for the shot, the only one my son has had in his life (he is vax free).
 |
| DS less than 24 hours old |
I am currently saving to get The Healing Passage, a book for midwives on tearing, I tore nearly 3rd degree, and although I know exactly why I tore that badly (I ignored my body telling me to pant while he was crowning) I want to know more. I tore internally, very unlike an episiotomy so I don't have scarring that I can feel/ massage prior to birth, I hope this means if I control the pushing stage, I can avoid tearing altogether like with my first (I only had grazes). I'm not afraid of tearing anymore though, it's way less painful than a broken coccyx ;)
That's it for now. DS has nursed to sleep so it's time to move him to bed.
Peace, Love & Light
Friday, 6 July 2012
8 weeks 5 days
Morning sickness is beginning to drain me, the first thing I experience when I wake is nausea, if I manage to fight the urge to empty my stomach and eat or drink, I end up losing the fight. During the day I'm generally ok, waves of nausea hit me every now and again but I don't feel the need to throw up. I'm struggling to get enough water down, if I drink too fast I get sick, if I drink too slow I don't feel any relief from the dryness in my mouth. Eating hardly helps, I'm just getting by each minute as it comes, emotionally I've been a mess.
Breastfeeding is becoming uncomfortable, I'm still making plenty of milk and DS is still very attatched to his boobie but I find myself wishing he would wean. He still wakes during the night to nurse, sometimes he doesn't want to sleep afterwards, I'm at the point where I want to night wean, just to get a decent sleep to get through the next day. I never thought I would say that.....I'm all for waiting for him to wean naturally, but I think being pregnant and having super sensitive and sore nipples, and the pain during let down - with all that new breast tissue that seems to be growing (seriously boobs, stop growing, E is big enough) is a good enough reason to want to wean. DS may still need the breast, I'm not going to deny him at all, but I can wish he didn't, right? Right now, I'm gently 'weaning' by the 'Don't offer, don't refuse' method. Mother led weaning is not something I am against, so I feel no guilt, as much as I did want to go to at least 2 years, I'm just not sure I'll get there. Unless he decides he needs it, I'm not going out of my way to nurse. I still find myself nursing throughout the day and night so I don't see him weaning yet, but like I said, night times would be nice if I could sleep so night weaning is something that is becoming enticing. I'm not the sort of person that NEEDS her body back, after all, I have been pregnant or breastfeeding non stop since july '08, but I do get the 'touched out' feeling and just want to be left alone, lately it's happening more often. Until recently, I had never heard of nursing aversion, something that happens during pregnancy for some women. I think it's something I may or am experiencing. I really hope this does pass.
I'm just taking each day, each moment as it comes, trying to enjoy every moment. Waiting for the right time to announce the pregnancy to our families and announce it publicly. I don't want to leave it much longer, I haven't spoken to my parents much since I moved, there was a bit of drama so I'm very nervous about calling (for the first time since the fight, I might add) and telling them I am having another baby. OH is going to tell his mother, he knows she's going to freak out, she's never been one to not say what she thinks, she has already told me not to have another baby, that 2 is enough. I'm glad he's going to bite that bullet, I'm scared enough about telling my own parents....
Mostly, though, I can hardly wait to share my news to the world (besides to this blog) a new life is something to celebrate, not hide. I want this to be a happy experience, rather than one filled with worry over what someone else will say or think.
We're still UPing currently, besides eat as best as I can and drink as much water as I need, there's very little I need to do. I'm yet to purchase the doppler, when I do, I'll be keeping checks to a mimimum since there's actually no studies done on the safety of sound waves on a growing fetus - there is something I have read about sound waves popping bubbles of fluid in the growing embryo so I want to minimise the risk of something happening. I'm not one to want to mess with nature. Once a month unless I'm worried should be more than enough. Both OH and I have agreed there's no need to have an ultrasound/blood test to at 13 weeks, we are sticking with just 1, the morphology scan which may give us information as to whether to seek assistance for the birth or coninue with our plans to freebirth. There is no test in the world that can tell us for certain if our baby is going to be healthy or not prior to birth, it's our faith in nature that is telling is our baby will grow fine and be a healthy baby. I have complete faith, so I do this without fear.
Peace, Love and Light xo
Friday, 29 June 2012
7 weeks 5 days :)
Well, this is what everyone must be waiting for ;)
I got my BFP!!!!!!
Just when I was starting to REALLY doubt we were sucessful, since the odds are 25% chance each cycle for the average couple, as there's no garantee when the egg is released the fallopian tubes catch it. I was seriously preparing for AF to arrive, I started cramping a fair bit.
Just 2 days before AF was due I did another test, I had a feeling, it's rather difficult to explain, and so I did, this brand is particularly sensitive but I still waited a week after getting the false negatives. It was the middle of the day on the saturday when something in my head said, it's time, you'll get the positive today.
Lo and behold, I got my positive. BUT it's still a secret from family and most friends so if you are one of my friends reading this, please refrain from mentioning this on and social networking site. We're going to send a photo with a pregnancy announcement to our families interstate.
I am currently 7.5 weeks along, morning sickness kicked in on week 6, earlier than usual. It's awful, awful AWFUL! I don't remember being this sick with the other two. I hope this time my morning sickness goes away at least and not hang around the whole pregnancy. I am struggling to find something to eat that doesn't make my stomach churn, I'm going to buy ginger when we go shopping so I can make ginger tea, my life saver for morning sickness. I have horrible acne, I hope it clears up like it usually does once the first trimester is over, it's not just my face that's covered, my arms and back too, it's really depressing looking in the mirror or having a shower and seeing it...
I am still breastfeeding and am letting DS self wean, if he doesn't then I'll be tandem nursing. My OH isn't comfortable with the idea but I've become quite familliar with this so to me it's quite normal. He will not ask me to wean thankfully, he says it's my right to decide if I stop or keep going, so I said I'm going to keep it up. It's the best way to calm a distressed child :). I am sure if DS is still nursing when LO is born my OH will have become used to me nursing an older child and newborn, he will do what he always does when the boundaries placed by society fall away and he sees it for what it is, me feeding and comforting my children. He's a beautiful person, my undying support, I am so blessed to have him in my life.
I have a feeling this baby might be a girl, my partner keeps insisting twins - twin boys (haha he wishes). I'm a little afraid of twins, I don't think I have that much faith in birth that I'd freebirth twins, I'd have to really consider my options and learn more about twin births before even considering it to be quite honest, as much as I would love to, so I would have to go to the hospital. That, in itself, is terrifying to me. As I mentioned in a previous post the hospitals here are really awful for birthing women, I would bet they would insist on induction or a c-section simply because I have a history of fast births and there's twins... not that I would agree to either, spontanoues natural labour is how I roll ;) I don't fear actually birthing twins, just the care I would likely recieve. I don't think I have twins though, so I still am having a free pregnancy and freebirthing unless I discover my partner is actually right.
I have updated my due date to the 11th of Feburary, since there were 6 days between the 2 due dates (the first being LMP and the second being from the last day ovulation was probable) I stuck with one in the middle. 6 days isn't enough for me to feel the need to use the latest due date, since I have so far not made it to 40 weeks, and I know the earlier due date is wrong and I can't bring myself to use a due date I know is inaccurate. I wonder how doctors manage to give out EDDs without knowing the length of a woman's cycle then try and justify induction if they're 'late', they can't even know if the baby is actually term or not until it's over, it's too often babies are supposedly late but appear premmature at birth. So, instead of 40 weeks, the mother could have only actually been 38 weeks. This is why is is NOT a good idea to induce before 42 weeks without medical indication. I'm sure mothers would wait just a bit longer if they knew they were risking a NICU stay for their baby.
I'm so happy to be pregnant, even though I feel so sickly. I'm noticing slight changes in my belly already, in a few weeks my uterus will begin to poke above the pubic bone, a few more after that I might start feeling the baby move and then a few more after that I'm having the morphology scan to confirm everything is where is should and I won't need to be in hospital for immediate care for my baby.
I'm a little bit nervous about giving birth, only because I know I dilate with BH contractions and last time I was at least 4cm before labor started (I checked myself a day before out of curiosity, I couldn't feel my cervix but I did feel bub's head and the bag of waters) so I'm REALLY hoping, I have enough time to fill the bath and have the water birth I have dreamed of having since I was pregnant with my daughter. I'm hoping I don't get stuck somewhere I don't want to give birth but am comfortable, I've had nightmares of visiting someone in hospital only to start labour and not being allowed to leave. Subconsciously I am afraid someone will try and take my rights as a birthing woman away, as is so common these days. Legally I'm covered, legally it's my right to say no, but there are people who ignore that and I am afraid of them. Birthing women are having to fight for our right to have a normal birth instead of an intervention filled drugged out birth, likely to end in a section. Drugs have a place in birth but NOT when the doctor tells the mother she needs it. We have to fight to say no to VOLUNTARY testing (emphasise voluntary because they aren't necessary for your baby's health or your own), we have a right to say no to IV's cervical exams and staying in bed. We are allowed to demand food for energy during labour, we're allowed to move around and help the baby out using gravity, we're ALLOWED to give birth at home with the caregiver we choose. It's the awesome thing about having rights to our sexual and reproductive health (which includes childbirth), and nobody has the right to take that away :)
I'm feeling a bit better, not quite so nauseated so I'm now going outside to play with the kids :)
Peace Love and Light.
I got my BFP!!!!!!
Just when I was starting to REALLY doubt we were sucessful, since the odds are 25% chance each cycle for the average couple, as there's no garantee when the egg is released the fallopian tubes catch it. I was seriously preparing for AF to arrive, I started cramping a fair bit.
Just 2 days before AF was due I did another test, I had a feeling, it's rather difficult to explain, and so I did, this brand is particularly sensitive but I still waited a week after getting the false negatives. It was the middle of the day on the saturday when something in my head said, it's time, you'll get the positive today.
Lo and behold, I got my positive. BUT it's still a secret from family and most friends so if you are one of my friends reading this, please refrain from mentioning this on and social networking site. We're going to send a photo with a pregnancy announcement to our families interstate.
I am currently 7.5 weeks along, morning sickness kicked in on week 6, earlier than usual. It's awful, awful AWFUL! I don't remember being this sick with the other two. I hope this time my morning sickness goes away at least and not hang around the whole pregnancy. I am struggling to find something to eat that doesn't make my stomach churn, I'm going to buy ginger when we go shopping so I can make ginger tea, my life saver for morning sickness. I have horrible acne, I hope it clears up like it usually does once the first trimester is over, it's not just my face that's covered, my arms and back too, it's really depressing looking in the mirror or having a shower and seeing it...
I am still breastfeeding and am letting DS self wean, if he doesn't then I'll be tandem nursing. My OH isn't comfortable with the idea but I've become quite familliar with this so to me it's quite normal. He will not ask me to wean thankfully, he says it's my right to decide if I stop or keep going, so I said I'm going to keep it up. It's the best way to calm a distressed child :). I am sure if DS is still nursing when LO is born my OH will have become used to me nursing an older child and newborn, he will do what he always does when the boundaries placed by society fall away and he sees it for what it is, me feeding and comforting my children. He's a beautiful person, my undying support, I am so blessed to have him in my life.
I have a feeling this baby might be a girl, my partner keeps insisting twins - twin boys (haha he wishes). I'm a little afraid of twins, I don't think I have that much faith in birth that I'd freebirth twins, I'd have to really consider my options and learn more about twin births before even considering it to be quite honest, as much as I would love to, so I would have to go to the hospital. That, in itself, is terrifying to me. As I mentioned in a previous post the hospitals here are really awful for birthing women, I would bet they would insist on induction or a c-section simply because I have a history of fast births and there's twins... not that I would agree to either, spontanoues natural labour is how I roll ;) I don't fear actually birthing twins, just the care I would likely recieve. I don't think I have twins though, so I still am having a free pregnancy and freebirthing unless I discover my partner is actually right.
I have updated my due date to the 11th of Feburary, since there were 6 days between the 2 due dates (the first being LMP and the second being from the last day ovulation was probable) I stuck with one in the middle. 6 days isn't enough for me to feel the need to use the latest due date, since I have so far not made it to 40 weeks, and I know the earlier due date is wrong and I can't bring myself to use a due date I know is inaccurate. I wonder how doctors manage to give out EDDs without knowing the length of a woman's cycle then try and justify induction if they're 'late', they can't even know if the baby is actually term or not until it's over, it's too often babies are supposedly late but appear premmature at birth. So, instead of 40 weeks, the mother could have only actually been 38 weeks. This is why is is NOT a good idea to induce before 42 weeks without medical indication. I'm sure mothers would wait just a bit longer if they knew they were risking a NICU stay for their baby.
I'm so happy to be pregnant, even though I feel so sickly. I'm noticing slight changes in my belly already, in a few weeks my uterus will begin to poke above the pubic bone, a few more after that I might start feeling the baby move and then a few more after that I'm having the morphology scan to confirm everything is where is should and I won't need to be in hospital for immediate care for my baby.
I'm a little bit nervous about giving birth, only because I know I dilate with BH contractions and last time I was at least 4cm before labor started (I checked myself a day before out of curiosity, I couldn't feel my cervix but I did feel bub's head and the bag of waters) so I'm REALLY hoping, I have enough time to fill the bath and have the water birth I have dreamed of having since I was pregnant with my daughter. I'm hoping I don't get stuck somewhere I don't want to give birth but am comfortable, I've had nightmares of visiting someone in hospital only to start labour and not being allowed to leave. Subconsciously I am afraid someone will try and take my rights as a birthing woman away, as is so common these days. Legally I'm covered, legally it's my right to say no, but there are people who ignore that and I am afraid of them. Birthing women are having to fight for our right to have a normal birth instead of an intervention filled drugged out birth, likely to end in a section. Drugs have a place in birth but NOT when the doctor tells the mother she needs it. We have to fight to say no to VOLUNTARY testing (emphasise voluntary because they aren't necessary for your baby's health or your own), we have a right to say no to IV's cervical exams and staying in bed. We are allowed to demand food for energy during labour, we're allowed to move around and help the baby out using gravity, we're ALLOWED to give birth at home with the caregiver we choose. It's the awesome thing about having rights to our sexual and reproductive health (which includes childbirth), and nobody has the right to take that away :)
I'm feeling a bit better, not quite so nauseated so I'm now going outside to play with the kids :)
Peace Love and Light.
Friday, 1 June 2012
Choosing an unassisted pregnancy.
The more and more I think about going unassisted for my birth, I think about also going unassisted for my pregnancy.
I am so very strongly drawn to it, it's like a burning desire I can't ignore.
So, when I get pregnant, I'm not seeking out a prenatal carer. Previously, I believed I would need prenatal care through a midwife and desperately searched for hours for a midwife. Alas, there are none within a 3 hour radius of here. Since I already decided to freebirth, I felt it was unecesssary to hire a midwife to do things I can do myself.
I can check fundal height and accurately determine the position of my baby - my last midwife taught me how during my last pregnancy. Each prenatal appointment felt more like I was being taught the tools of the trade rather than being tested or checked. I am buying a doppler not only to use in labour but in pregnancy, I am aware of my blood type and when it is neccessary for me to get the Anti-D shot. I am O negative, where my blood is incompatible with a positive blood and can cause serious issues for future pregnancies (not that I plan any more, but there is always the possibility I'll want another) if my blood were to mix with positive blood. The Anti-D injection is supposed to last 12 weeks and must be given within 72 hours of birth where blood may have mixed. I know it doesn't have to be given immediately, my baby's blood type can be checked because, like my last birth, my child may be negative also making the needle unecessary.
Having been pregnant twice already, I already have an idea of what is normal for me, anything abnormal will of course be checked out.My birth geekiness has helped me learn how to get in tune with my body and learn what is normal.
Getting my pregnancy confirmed by a GP is the first step once I get that BFP (whenever that happens) and then I will begin my own prenatal care. Since making my decision, I feel more at peace, and am now looking forward to being pregnant more than I have in the past.
As a side note, since I used the Fertility Awareness Method to avoid pregnancy, and then to try and concieve. I've noticed a few changes. I am waiting for the 4th to do another pregnancy test, I've done a few because I wasn't entirely sure when I might have concieved, and they were all negative. I guess between the 21st and the 23rd, implantation may have been from the 29th to the 31st. I have been having a few 'early pregnancy' symptoms, as of the 29th I began peeing more often, feeling crampy, had heartburn, slight nausea and tender breasts. My cervix is completely different to normal today, high, soft and closed, everything feels swollen and looks a bit darker than normal, where normally it would be low, medium, firmness and open, ready for menustration. The 4th will be day 32, on average I have 31 day cycles except for last cycle which was 44 days but stress and the supermoon played a role in the delay (my cycles seem to coincide with the full moon). I can't wait to finally know for certain.
I'm hoping my next entry will be a 'Yay, I'm pregnant', I'm trying not to get my hopes up, just in case.
Thanks for reading my blog :)
Peace, Love and Light
I am so very strongly drawn to it, it's like a burning desire I can't ignore.
So, when I get pregnant, I'm not seeking out a prenatal carer. Previously, I believed I would need prenatal care through a midwife and desperately searched for hours for a midwife. Alas, there are none within a 3 hour radius of here. Since I already decided to freebirth, I felt it was unecesssary to hire a midwife to do things I can do myself.
I can check fundal height and accurately determine the position of my baby - my last midwife taught me how during my last pregnancy. Each prenatal appointment felt more like I was being taught the tools of the trade rather than being tested or checked. I am buying a doppler not only to use in labour but in pregnancy, I am aware of my blood type and when it is neccessary for me to get the Anti-D shot. I am O negative, where my blood is incompatible with a positive blood and can cause serious issues for future pregnancies (not that I plan any more, but there is always the possibility I'll want another) if my blood were to mix with positive blood. The Anti-D injection is supposed to last 12 weeks and must be given within 72 hours of birth where blood may have mixed. I know it doesn't have to be given immediately, my baby's blood type can be checked because, like my last birth, my child may be negative also making the needle unecessary.
Having been pregnant twice already, I already have an idea of what is normal for me, anything abnormal will of course be checked out.My birth geekiness has helped me learn how to get in tune with my body and learn what is normal.
Getting my pregnancy confirmed by a GP is the first step once I get that BFP (whenever that happens) and then I will begin my own prenatal care. Since making my decision, I feel more at peace, and am now looking forward to being pregnant more than I have in the past.
As a side note, since I used the Fertility Awareness Method to avoid pregnancy, and then to try and concieve. I've noticed a few changes. I am waiting for the 4th to do another pregnancy test, I've done a few because I wasn't entirely sure when I might have concieved, and they were all negative. I guess between the 21st and the 23rd, implantation may have been from the 29th to the 31st. I have been having a few 'early pregnancy' symptoms, as of the 29th I began peeing more often, feeling crampy, had heartburn, slight nausea and tender breasts. My cervix is completely different to normal today, high, soft and closed, everything feels swollen and looks a bit darker than normal, where normally it would be low, medium, firmness and open, ready for menustration. The 4th will be day 32, on average I have 31 day cycles except for last cycle which was 44 days but stress and the supermoon played a role in the delay (my cycles seem to coincide with the full moon). I can't wait to finally know for certain.
I'm hoping my next entry will be a 'Yay, I'm pregnant', I'm trying not to get my hopes up, just in case.
Thanks for reading my blog :)
Peace, Love and Light
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