I am feeling very pregnant now, my fundus is clearly above my navel and when I sit my belly looks like a basket ball stuffed under my shirt. It's quite cute. I love having a round belly, it's the only time in my life I feel completely at ease with my body, and can see beauty. I normally don't, I'm not the kind of person who looks in the mirror and is satisfied with what I see.
I can feel my baby roll and kick, now I can feel movement everywhere. Most of the kicks are low or to my side, occasionally at the very top. Most of the movement tells me DS2 is hanging out transverse, but it is still quite difficult to feel him. My partner tells me it's the placenta getting in the way at the moment, because he can't feel defined shapes and DS2 likes to wriggle around a lot. It's seriously never ending! My partner and I were feeling him kick this week and DD comes up and wanted to have a feel. Her face lit up like it was the best thing in the world, since then she's been telling everyone 'There's a baby in there and the baby's kicking!!'
I bought my BP cuff and stethoscope, I am impressed by the quality for a cheap ebay purchase. The steth is better than the one I had when I was studying nursing and that one wasn't cheap. Mine was attacked by mould because the box was damaged in the move, so I'm pretty happy I have a better replacement. I checked my BP and as I thought, my BP is low normal but totally normal for me, it was at 110/60.
I measured my belly this week, fundus is 24.5cm, and my waist is now 101.5cm or 39.5 inches around. at 22 weeks it was 98cm so I've grown a bit. My poor belly button is stretched so bad it stings an itches often, especially when I've been sitting a while. It's kind of popped out, but I don't think there's much more there to stick out, it's nearly completely flat ;) I've got stretch marks popping up too, but my old ones remain silver unlike my last pregnancy they all went red again but DS was MUCH bigger than DD, by the time I hit 35 weeks with him I was bigger than I was the day I gave birth to DD. I don't mind, my stretch marks aren't ugly, instead they are a mark of what I have done and it's something I am proud of. They're my mama stripes, and I earned them.
My hip has stopped giving me grief at the moment, I get back aches and such still but I can walk with only a little waddle and haven't had a sciatica flare up. It's getting really uncomfortable to sleep though, everything is beginning to hurt. Co-sleeping isn't working anymore, if DS is near he will nurse what feels like ALLLLL night... I was running on just a few hours sleep for 2 days, it was getting to me. I started to feel very depressed, and cried a lot those few days, my partner is working a lot at the moment so I was beginning to get desperate for a nap or just 5 minutes to myself. I'm a bit short tempered too, I admit I'm not the perfect mum, I do yell but I always apologise to the kids. I feel pretty guilty taking out my own frustrations on them, it's not their fault. I sat on the floor while my kids watched a Peppa Pig dvd and just cried after I said sorry. I do remember I get emotional at this stage in my pregnancies, fortunately I know it won't last.
DS is beginning to wean, I can see the end, sort of. He nursed once yesterday (not including when he woke for a nurse in the night) and it was at night to go to sleep for the first time that night. He woke just before we were about to head to bed and he made no effort to nurse when I cuddled him. I did out of habit offer it but he was too sleepy, good thing too, I need to get out of the habit of offering all the time.. so much for don't offer don't refuse, I really did try but if he's grizzy the boob will sort him out, so I just do it. I felt odd not nursing that day until that night, so much of my last 18 months have involved a heck of a lot of breastfeeding. I am not sure what he's doing with his latch though, it looked and felt wrong at one point (and some other times recently) where he seems to be chewing rather than nursing. I shouldn't get upset if he's losing the desire to properly nurse because I WANT him to wean on his own, preferably soon. However, I am feeling overwhelmed with so many changes all of a sudden, deep down I wonder if I will ever be 100% ready, I don't miss nursing my DD but I sure wasn't ready for her to wean when she did either so I know eventually I'll get over it. I am gratetful I have had the chance to give my babies breastmilk into their second year, and grateful for the bond it created.
I bought a new bra because my old nursing bras have deteriorated to the point of no longer holding up the girls. So, I checked out K-mart and found THE most comfortable nursing bra I have ever, ever, ever worn. It's seamless and feels like a sports bra, no hooks at the back but it has the clips :) The padding is fantastic too, gives me some shape back unlike any past nursing bra so no more feeling like my boobs are sitting on my belly, they are on my chest again ;) I'm not the smallest when it comes to my bra size, I've been a 10E for as long as I've been breastfeeding so it's expensive and difficult to find a nursing bra. The K-mart one came with 2, for only $20, can't be disappointed in that! Normally I have no choice but to pay $50 upwards for just the one. I'm practically living in it because it's that comfy ;) So, if you are interested, look out for the K-mart brand seamless maternity bra that looks like a sports bra :)
Before I go, I want to say that my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy. I hope everyone stays safe. And if you celebrate halloween, have fun!
Peace, Love & Light xo
Showing posts with label 2nd trimester symptoms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2nd trimester symptoms. Show all posts
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
Saturday, 20 October 2012
23 weeks 5 days pregnancy update
I'm 23 weeks and 5 days.
I'm thinking a lot more about the birth. My fiance and I have been discussing it a lot the last 2 days. We're starting to get things organised, I've started researching different herbals to use for the postpartum period and we're about to start buying some things we think we may need - when I revise my list.
Mostly I'm interested in something to ease the afterpains. The afterpains I had with my DS were surprisingly strong. I had none following my first so to have really painful ones second time has me a little nervous about what's in store for after #3. I'm very interested in one suggestion from a doula and mama to 5, magnesium phosphate homeopathic remedy. So I'll be adding that to my list of things to get.
Today and yesterday we have been talking about DS's birth from my his point of view. I love to talk about my births, I also love hearing it from different points of view. It's incredible the things you don't notice! My fiance was telling me how he watched DS's head crown and start to come out as I pushed on my hands and knees and then how DS stopped, turned slightly and as I stood his head came out the rest of the way. He said we waited for about 30 seconds supporting DS's head as his shoulders slowly turned and for the final contraction to come, he said it was very slow to watch, yet for me it felt like it happened so fast.
Bubba seems to have had a growth spurt, I feel like I'm suddenly huge. I have some more stretch marks starting but I don't mind. They fade to silver pretty fast, and they're my mama stripes, I earned them so I'm actually a bit proud of them :) He's kicking a lot more now, I feel him mostly quite low just above my pubic bone and under my belly button and to my sides, not very often right out the front though unless it's a really strong kick. I'm a bit disappointed I won't feel the movements at the front like I do at the sides, so I'll feel bubba a lot less than otherwise until he's much bigger when I can easily feel and see a distinct baby shape roll and move around. That's my favourite point in pregnancy, my last 2 pregnancies I was no longer suffering morning sickness by the time I was 30 weeks and with a belly full of baby. I feel my most energetic, beautiful and strongest when I am early in the 3rd trimester.
DS is nursing often still, I am beginning to suspect I should prepare myself for either more focibly encouraging weaning or get used to the idea of tandem nursing. I secretly wish I could have a break before baby is here, but I want to also soak up every second of my son's nursing stage... he won't be a little nursling forever. It is a bit uncomfortable with a belly, if I don't get the positioning just right it feels like I'm being crushed. Lying down is how I nurse him when I can, otherwise I'll make myself a nest of pillows.
Nursing at 18 months, I love his sweet little face <3
I've started to get some heartburn this week, and for some reason I've been craving cows milk. Since we don't have any apples at the moment I have been relying on the milk to neutralise the acid, as well as the craving. It is next to impossible to sleep when your chest feels like it's on fire. It does work, but apples are my favourite heartburn remedy.
The pain I've been getting in my pelvis/hip has been on and off good and bad. For 4 days I was limping and in a fair bit of pain. I rolled over in bed one morning and my hips cracked and I've only had occasional aches since. I suspect what was going on was my hips were just a bit out and it was putting pressure on the sciatic nerve, when it popped back into place the pressure wasn't there but it still feels a little bit bruised. I can walk fine now, which means I don't have to worry that it won't go away next time if it happens again. I was starting to wonder by day 4, even thinking of seeing a physiotherapist through the local public hospital (it would cost me an arm and a leg to go about it privately). I'm looking into alternatives, because to be honest, the physiotherapy I had when I was pregnant with DS was a waste of time.
Here's a belly pic taken earlier this week (23+1) I'm absolutely in love with my dress (it's new) and apparently it really shows off my bump :)
Well that's it for now, until next time :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
I'm thinking a lot more about the birth. My fiance and I have been discussing it a lot the last 2 days. We're starting to get things organised, I've started researching different herbals to use for the postpartum period and we're about to start buying some things we think we may need - when I revise my list.
Mostly I'm interested in something to ease the afterpains. The afterpains I had with my DS were surprisingly strong. I had none following my first so to have really painful ones second time has me a little nervous about what's in store for after #3. I'm very interested in one suggestion from a doula and mama to 5, magnesium phosphate homeopathic remedy. So I'll be adding that to my list of things to get.
Today and yesterday we have been talking about DS's birth from my his point of view. I love to talk about my births, I also love hearing it from different points of view. It's incredible the things you don't notice! My fiance was telling me how he watched DS's head crown and start to come out as I pushed on my hands and knees and then how DS stopped, turned slightly and as I stood his head came out the rest of the way. He said we waited for about 30 seconds supporting DS's head as his shoulders slowly turned and for the final contraction to come, he said it was very slow to watch, yet for me it felt like it happened so fast.
Bubba seems to have had a growth spurt, I feel like I'm suddenly huge. I have some more stretch marks starting but I don't mind. They fade to silver pretty fast, and they're my mama stripes, I earned them so I'm actually a bit proud of them :) He's kicking a lot more now, I feel him mostly quite low just above my pubic bone and under my belly button and to my sides, not very often right out the front though unless it's a really strong kick. I'm a bit disappointed I won't feel the movements at the front like I do at the sides, so I'll feel bubba a lot less than otherwise until he's much bigger when I can easily feel and see a distinct baby shape roll and move around. That's my favourite point in pregnancy, my last 2 pregnancies I was no longer suffering morning sickness by the time I was 30 weeks and with a belly full of baby. I feel my most energetic, beautiful and strongest when I am early in the 3rd trimester.
DS is nursing often still, I am beginning to suspect I should prepare myself for either more focibly encouraging weaning or get used to the idea of tandem nursing. I secretly wish I could have a break before baby is here, but I want to also soak up every second of my son's nursing stage... he won't be a little nursling forever. It is a bit uncomfortable with a belly, if I don't get the positioning just right it feels like I'm being crushed. Lying down is how I nurse him when I can, otherwise I'll make myself a nest of pillows.
Nursing at 18 months, I love his sweet little face <3
I've started to get some heartburn this week, and for some reason I've been craving cows milk. Since we don't have any apples at the moment I have been relying on the milk to neutralise the acid, as well as the craving. It is next to impossible to sleep when your chest feels like it's on fire. It does work, but apples are my favourite heartburn remedy.
The pain I've been getting in my pelvis/hip has been on and off good and bad. For 4 days I was limping and in a fair bit of pain. I rolled over in bed one morning and my hips cracked and I've only had occasional aches since. I suspect what was going on was my hips were just a bit out and it was putting pressure on the sciatic nerve, when it popped back into place the pressure wasn't there but it still feels a little bit bruised. I can walk fine now, which means I don't have to worry that it won't go away next time if it happens again. I was starting to wonder by day 4, even thinking of seeing a physiotherapist through the local public hospital (it would cost me an arm and a leg to go about it privately). I'm looking into alternatives, because to be honest, the physiotherapy I had when I was pregnant with DS was a waste of time.
Here's a belly pic taken earlier this week (23+1) I'm absolutely in love with my dress (it's new) and apparently it really shows off my bump :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Saturday, 22 September 2012
19 weeks 6 days, Update, Pregnancy dreams, thoughts on birth.
Just one more day and I'm halfway! Also, I have my ultrasound this coming Thursday.
I have a strong feeling baby is a girl, I'm going to be surprised it it isn't.
I had a dream on the 25th, where I was 'told' the sex of the baby. In my dream, my fiance was going to bake a cake to reveal the sex following the ultrasound. I was in the kitchen where he was going to make it, and he had written the sex on a blackboard and then covered it with paper so I couldn't see. When I walked past the blackboard, as I was leaving, the paper fell revealing the sex. Girl, it said. Plain as day.
I have since found it difficult to refer to baby as anything but a little girl, but until the ultrasound I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. If baby is a boy, yes, I will be thrilled, but I can't say I won't feel a little disappointed.. only because I am so 'sure'.
I had dreams with my other 2, my first was the most vivid, and memorable. I was in a forest, talking to a little girl, around 7 or 8 years old. She had long, straight dark blonde hair and she had blue eyes. I was telling her about the trees, and how when the tree is cut you count the rings to see how old it was. I was between 9 and 15 weeks pregnant at the time, if I had to guess I would have said girl.
Fast forward to 37 weeks and 5 days, I give birth. My baby girl, a little blonde, blue eyed beauty. Fast forward again, she's 3.5, her hair, eyes are exactly the same as the girl in my dream.
I do believe dreams can tell us things, I do not know if it is my own inner knowledge or baby connecting with me to tell me though.
I didn't have quite as vivid dreams with DS. I just knew he was a boy, even well before conception. Almost like he chose me, and my heart knew to look forward to him joining me in this life. The night before the ultrasound that told us without a doubt, baby was a boy, I was second guessing my own intuituion. That night, I dreamed of my baby boy. I couldn't see his face, unlike with my DD, but I had no doubt he was a boy after that.
Now, I think you can understand why I have faith in my dreams. They aren't always wrong, especially when it comes to baby's sex.
We'll just have to wait until Thursday so see if once again, I was right.
And now onto my pregnancy update!
As I mentioned, I'm nearly halfway. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going!
I am still suffering from morning sickness (or hypermesis...) today, I have been sick all morning. It is draining beyond belief. I hope I get some relief soon.
I am gaining weight, slowly, and my belly is big and round. It is very obvious now that I am pregnant. We were out shopping and one of my partner's friends who we haven't seen in a while spotted us, the first thing out his mouth was 'You're pregnant!' hahaha ;) I thought it was awesome, since I can't see what others can, it's nice not to worry if I just look fat.
DS and I are still nursing, I have next to no milk left, I think it is mostly colostrum now, but it changes throughout the day so I can't be certain. After DS nurses to sleep, I will have thin white milk but after a while it will thicken and go a more yellow colour. He's happy to keep nursing, but I hope he weans before I get too much further along. DS turned 17 months on the 17th, this the longest I have nursed, as DD weaned shortly before she turned 17 months. When we get to 18 months, I will have reached the goal I had so hoped to reach with DD, then, I think I won't feel guilty if he weans.
Emotionally, I feel all over the place.
A few of my friends have had babies in the past couple of weeks. I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for one who went in for an induction at 41 weeks, which turned into a cesarean. I don't know how she feels about it, and I don't think she is ready to speak about it. I hope she never feels like she failed.
Another friend had a baby this week, she had a difficult labour with her first, second time around active labour was 2.5 hours. She is thrilled to say the least, because she went drug-free, like she wanted.
I look to other people's birthing experiences, to learn to support them. I can't know the right things to say when I haven't been there and experienced it myself. I worry, all the time, that I will say the wrong thing. When a friend has a great experience, I share their joy, because I have felt it. When a friend shares their difficult/painful/traumatic experience, all I can do is give them a hug, and validate their feelings. I tell them, it's ok to feel like this, it's your experience and nobody has the right to tell you it didn't matter, as long as baby was healthy. It's ok to grieve for that birth you dreamed of, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel it.
One of my best friends had a very traumatic birth, enough that she is not having any more babies because of it. I was lost, I didn't know what to say to her, so I just let her talk. Afterwards, we had a stronger friendship, and I could see a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. I can see, how important it is, to let a woman grieve for the birth she wanted, and to feel whatever she feels about the birth she did have, and be allowed to share her feelings without any judgement. Because of that friend, I felt it was my mission in life to help, in any way I could, to either be there to prevent it from becoming traumatic or to be there when she needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
I realised, more than ever, Birth Matters.
Speaking with my fiance, about my feelings about our upcoming freebirth, it got me thinking. I am doing something that is far from accepted, and far from what is normal. It makes people uncomfortable, but why? Why does it frighten people who don't even know me, enough to tell me I'm doing something dangerous, stupid and selfish. Is it their own experiences or is it just because society has been led to believe birth is dangerous. What is it exactly, that scares people about birth the most? And why is it, when you aren't afraid, they think there is something wrong with you.
I have never felt more secure with my decision to freebirth, as you know from reading my blog, we planned to freebirth even before conception. Now that I'm pregnant, it's real, not something we're just discussing. The knowledge that we're doing it alone, is exciting, it's empowering. The only thing I feel we need a professional for, is to do the newborn health check in the days after the birth... something I am not trained in doing, I'd rather leave that to a midwife.
I had no idea my mother in law knew about our freebirth plans, DF told me last night she knows and she has complete faith in us. I'm completely blown away. It's one thing to be totally cool with us not vaccinating, but to be totally supportive of a freebirth is amazing. I know if she could be there, she would be, holding my hand as I ride the waves. She is coming up, after the birth, I get the feeling she knows we need our space before the birth. Also, she's not worried about us, so she feels there is no need to be there. She does not see birth as an emergency, and I am greatful.
Hmm... I've run out of things to write about right now. I tend to write what I am thinking. I will eventually get to part 2 of my breastfeeding experience with my DD. It was a traumatic event that happened which I plan to write about, but as of yet, I'm not quite ready. I am still trying to organise my thoughts on that. I still hold a lot of anger. I will update on thursday after the ultrasound, and if I manage, I hope to attend the Freedom for Birth screening which is happening locally that same night. If I do go, I will write a review :) I will also start sharing belly photos, I've learned how to use our new camera with the tripod so I can take decent ones haha.
Until next time. Peace, Love and Light xo
I have a strong feeling baby is a girl, I'm going to be surprised it it isn't.
I had a dream on the 25th, where I was 'told' the sex of the baby. In my dream, my fiance was going to bake a cake to reveal the sex following the ultrasound. I was in the kitchen where he was going to make it, and he had written the sex on a blackboard and then covered it with paper so I couldn't see. When I walked past the blackboard, as I was leaving, the paper fell revealing the sex. Girl, it said. Plain as day.
I have since found it difficult to refer to baby as anything but a little girl, but until the ultrasound I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. If baby is a boy, yes, I will be thrilled, but I can't say I won't feel a little disappointed.. only because I am so 'sure'.
I had dreams with my other 2, my first was the most vivid, and memorable. I was in a forest, talking to a little girl, around 7 or 8 years old. She had long, straight dark blonde hair and she had blue eyes. I was telling her about the trees, and how when the tree is cut you count the rings to see how old it was. I was between 9 and 15 weeks pregnant at the time, if I had to guess I would have said girl.
Fast forward to 37 weeks and 5 days, I give birth. My baby girl, a little blonde, blue eyed beauty. Fast forward again, she's 3.5, her hair, eyes are exactly the same as the girl in my dream.
I do believe dreams can tell us things, I do not know if it is my own inner knowledge or baby connecting with me to tell me though.
I didn't have quite as vivid dreams with DS. I just knew he was a boy, even well before conception. Almost like he chose me, and my heart knew to look forward to him joining me in this life. The night before the ultrasound that told us without a doubt, baby was a boy, I was second guessing my own intuituion. That night, I dreamed of my baby boy. I couldn't see his face, unlike with my DD, but I had no doubt he was a boy after that.
Now, I think you can understand why I have faith in my dreams. They aren't always wrong, especially when it comes to baby's sex.
We'll just have to wait until Thursday so see if once again, I was right.
And now onto my pregnancy update!
As I mentioned, I'm nearly halfway. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going!
I am still suffering from morning sickness (or hypermesis...) today, I have been sick all morning. It is draining beyond belief. I hope I get some relief soon.
I am gaining weight, slowly, and my belly is big and round. It is very obvious now that I am pregnant. We were out shopping and one of my partner's friends who we haven't seen in a while spotted us, the first thing out his mouth was 'You're pregnant!' hahaha ;) I thought it was awesome, since I can't see what others can, it's nice not to worry if I just look fat.
DS and I are still nursing, I have next to no milk left, I think it is mostly colostrum now, but it changes throughout the day so I can't be certain. After DS nurses to sleep, I will have thin white milk but after a while it will thicken and go a more yellow colour. He's happy to keep nursing, but I hope he weans before I get too much further along. DS turned 17 months on the 17th, this the longest I have nursed, as DD weaned shortly before she turned 17 months. When we get to 18 months, I will have reached the goal I had so hoped to reach with DD, then, I think I won't feel guilty if he weans.
Emotionally, I feel all over the place.
A few of my friends have had babies in the past couple of weeks. I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for one who went in for an induction at 41 weeks, which turned into a cesarean. I don't know how she feels about it, and I don't think she is ready to speak about it. I hope she never feels like she failed.
Another friend had a baby this week, she had a difficult labour with her first, second time around active labour was 2.5 hours. She is thrilled to say the least, because she went drug-free, like she wanted.
I look to other people's birthing experiences, to learn to support them. I can't know the right things to say when I haven't been there and experienced it myself. I worry, all the time, that I will say the wrong thing. When a friend has a great experience, I share their joy, because I have felt it. When a friend shares their difficult/painful/traumatic experience, all I can do is give them a hug, and validate their feelings. I tell them, it's ok to feel like this, it's your experience and nobody has the right to tell you it didn't matter, as long as baby was healthy. It's ok to grieve for that birth you dreamed of, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel it.
One of my best friends had a very traumatic birth, enough that she is not having any more babies because of it. I was lost, I didn't know what to say to her, so I just let her talk. Afterwards, we had a stronger friendship, and I could see a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. I can see, how important it is, to let a woman grieve for the birth she wanted, and to feel whatever she feels about the birth she did have, and be allowed to share her feelings without any judgement. Because of that friend, I felt it was my mission in life to help, in any way I could, to either be there to prevent it from becoming traumatic or to be there when she needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
I realised, more than ever, Birth Matters.
Speaking with my fiance, about my feelings about our upcoming freebirth, it got me thinking. I am doing something that is far from accepted, and far from what is normal. It makes people uncomfortable, but why? Why does it frighten people who don't even know me, enough to tell me I'm doing something dangerous, stupid and selfish. Is it their own experiences or is it just because society has been led to believe birth is dangerous. What is it exactly, that scares people about birth the most? And why is it, when you aren't afraid, they think there is something wrong with you.
I have never felt more secure with my decision to freebirth, as you know from reading my blog, we planned to freebirth even before conception. Now that I'm pregnant, it's real, not something we're just discussing. The knowledge that we're doing it alone, is exciting, it's empowering. The only thing I feel we need a professional for, is to do the newborn health check in the days after the birth... something I am not trained in doing, I'd rather leave that to a midwife.
I had no idea my mother in law knew about our freebirth plans, DF told me last night she knows and she has complete faith in us. I'm completely blown away. It's one thing to be totally cool with us not vaccinating, but to be totally supportive of a freebirth is amazing. I know if she could be there, she would be, holding my hand as I ride the waves. She is coming up, after the birth, I get the feeling she knows we need our space before the birth. Also, she's not worried about us, so she feels there is no need to be there. She does not see birth as an emergency, and I am greatful.
Hmm... I've run out of things to write about right now. I tend to write what I am thinking. I will eventually get to part 2 of my breastfeeding experience with my DD. It was a traumatic event that happened which I plan to write about, but as of yet, I'm not quite ready. I am still trying to organise my thoughts on that. I still hold a lot of anger. I will update on thursday after the ultrasound, and if I manage, I hope to attend the Freedom for Birth screening which is happening locally that same night. If I do go, I will write a review :) I will also start sharing belly photos, I've learned how to use our new camera with the tripod so I can take decent ones haha.
Until next time. Peace, Love and Light xo
Thursday, 6 September 2012
17 weeks 5 days update
17 weeks 5 days.
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
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