So here we are, about 6 weeks left assuming like my last 2 pregnancies, baby is ready before his due date. I know I say this all the time but gosh it has gone so fast!
So recent symptoms...
Sleep has become near impossible to achieve, when I lie on my side bub kicks and stretches and it is quite painful. His little limbs go everywhere like I've got a little octopus in there. My partner and I have joked about the ultrasound being wrong and that there's 2 in there but I'm definitely not big enough for twins ;) As much as I love being able to feel him move so much more than I remember with my other 2, it is getting more painful the bigger he gets and I want him to rotate from posterior to anterior. So I've been crawling around the house and rocking on my gym ball, my partner thinks it is hilarious of course, me big and pregnant crawling around after the kids.
I'm waddling big time, I swear I give new meaning to waddling right now. I can feel my entire body rock left to right and there's not a thing I can do to stop it, I can't help but laugh at myself.
I'm feeling the dreaded 3rd trimester exhaustion, I want to sleep ALL THE TIME, but obviously I can't with 2 little ones running around.
My belly is stretching but no sign of new stretch marks yet, if my last 2 pregnancies are anything to go by I shall be seeing them pop up in the next 2 weeks, I'm not bothered by stretch marks in the slightest, I like having new ones each time, a mark on my body to remember the pregnancy. I have a tattoo (and plan more when I'm done breastfeeding) but I admit, there's nothing more beautiful to me than one nature gives me. My skin is looking a little red and under my belly button I have a strip where it's lighter than the rest, not unlike the linea nigra, just white instead, it's something I've never come across before. My skin itches like crazy after I've eaten, and I always seem to eat too much for the tiny space left for my stomach to expand. My ribs on my right side are spreading out more than the left, it's incredibly painful.
I've started to feel nauseated and have thrown up a couple of times in the last 2 days, I hope it doesn't continue. I've noticed it is much worse when I haven't had enough sleep, or a good enough sleep. DS is nursing still but once he's nursed to sleep he generally stays asleep until about 5am when my partner gets up and plays with him so I get to stay in bed and sleep (isn't he such a sweetheart :))
We have been discussing what is going to happen when bub gets here, I've pretty much told my DF that I will not be refusing to nurse DS. He was never totally ok with DS nursing past 2 (because unless it's happening it's hard to imagine, when DD weaned at 16 months I couldn't imagine nursing a 20 month old.. now I am and it's just as normal as it was to nurse a newborn), or tandem but has realised it's just out of our control if we don't want to resort to Cry-It-Out. I think he is still secretly hoping DS will wean but I know it won't be happening, he nurses to sleep most times and whenever he's hurt or upset.
We will be moving in the next week or so, so I'll finally be able to start nesting. I'm in love with the new place, there's a bath so I don't have to worry too much about needing a pool to labour and birth in. Also, it's not so close to any of the neighbours, we'll be on 1/2 an acre so I won't be worrying about the neighbours calling the cops thinking I'm being murdered or something horrible like that if I happen to roar my baby out this time.
I keep dreaming about the birth. Very strange dreams where my back is aching and all of a sudden I get the urge to push and pop, out comes baby. I can keep dreaming about a painless labour even though I know it's unlikely to happen. I catch myself thinking about what he will look like, whether he will cry or not (DS didn't cry, he just cooed and made those sweet little baby sounds newborns do), will he be an easy labour or will be be more difficult, will he be born in the caul or not, will my son and daughter be there or will they be asleep, will one be up and not the other, will labour begin at night or during the day... I try very hard not to focus on the negatives, like what if he needs help after being born, if I need help during labour, what if I need a c-section or something. I'm reading about complications constantly, reading out what I'm reading while my partner sits beside me and listens. We discuss what could happen, what we would do, what would need to happen if ____ was to happen. Necessary of course, we have a backup plan but I hope very much that we never need to resort to that.
My mother in law is coming up to visit, she's planning to come up a couple of days before my due date. I'm not entirely sure if I'll be asking her to attend the birth or not, assuming bub isn't born by then. She's fully aware we're planning to freebirth, she even knows I'm doing my own prenatal care, and you know what's cool about that?? She's totally fine with it!! She says she trusts us and trusts our baby will be born safely, whether or not it includes hospital transfer. My parents are ambulance officers so I have not and will not be telling them, I know they will only worry.
I am planning to record the birth, I may or may not edit to share on youtube but I want people to see physiological birth.
And that's all for now, DS is nursing to sleep but it's difficult to type and nurse a toddler while pregnant ;)
Showing posts with label breastfeeding during pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breastfeeding during pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
25 weeks 3 days
I am feeling very pregnant now, my fundus is clearly above my navel and when I sit my belly looks like a basket ball stuffed under my shirt. It's quite cute. I love having a round belly, it's the only time in my life I feel completely at ease with my body, and can see beauty. I normally don't, I'm not the kind of person who looks in the mirror and is satisfied with what I see.
I can feel my baby roll and kick, now I can feel movement everywhere. Most of the kicks are low or to my side, occasionally at the very top. Most of the movement tells me DS2 is hanging out transverse, but it is still quite difficult to feel him. My partner tells me it's the placenta getting in the way at the moment, because he can't feel defined shapes and DS2 likes to wriggle around a lot. It's seriously never ending! My partner and I were feeling him kick this week and DD comes up and wanted to have a feel. Her face lit up like it was the best thing in the world, since then she's been telling everyone 'There's a baby in there and the baby's kicking!!'
I bought my BP cuff and stethoscope, I am impressed by the quality for a cheap ebay purchase. The steth is better than the one I had when I was studying nursing and that one wasn't cheap. Mine was attacked by mould because the box was damaged in the move, so I'm pretty happy I have a better replacement. I checked my BP and as I thought, my BP is low normal but totally normal for me, it was at 110/60.
I measured my belly this week, fundus is 24.5cm, and my waist is now 101.5cm or 39.5 inches around. at 22 weeks it was 98cm so I've grown a bit. My poor belly button is stretched so bad it stings an itches often, especially when I've been sitting a while. It's kind of popped out, but I don't think there's much more there to stick out, it's nearly completely flat ;) I've got stretch marks popping up too, but my old ones remain silver unlike my last pregnancy they all went red again but DS was MUCH bigger than DD, by the time I hit 35 weeks with him I was bigger than I was the day I gave birth to DD. I don't mind, my stretch marks aren't ugly, instead they are a mark of what I have done and it's something I am proud of. They're my mama stripes, and I earned them.
My hip has stopped giving me grief at the moment, I get back aches and such still but I can walk with only a little waddle and haven't had a sciatica flare up. It's getting really uncomfortable to sleep though, everything is beginning to hurt. Co-sleeping isn't working anymore, if DS is near he will nurse what feels like ALLLLL night... I was running on just a few hours sleep for 2 days, it was getting to me. I started to feel very depressed, and cried a lot those few days, my partner is working a lot at the moment so I was beginning to get desperate for a nap or just 5 minutes to myself. I'm a bit short tempered too, I admit I'm not the perfect mum, I do yell but I always apologise to the kids. I feel pretty guilty taking out my own frustrations on them, it's not their fault. I sat on the floor while my kids watched a Peppa Pig dvd and just cried after I said sorry. I do remember I get emotional at this stage in my pregnancies, fortunately I know it won't last.
DS is beginning to wean, I can see the end, sort of. He nursed once yesterday (not including when he woke for a nurse in the night) and it was at night to go to sleep for the first time that night. He woke just before we were about to head to bed and he made no effort to nurse when I cuddled him. I did out of habit offer it but he was too sleepy, good thing too, I need to get out of the habit of offering all the time.. so much for don't offer don't refuse, I really did try but if he's grizzy the boob will sort him out, so I just do it. I felt odd not nursing that day until that night, so much of my last 18 months have involved a heck of a lot of breastfeeding. I am not sure what he's doing with his latch though, it looked and felt wrong at one point (and some other times recently) where he seems to be chewing rather than nursing. I shouldn't get upset if he's losing the desire to properly nurse because I WANT him to wean on his own, preferably soon. However, I am feeling overwhelmed with so many changes all of a sudden, deep down I wonder if I will ever be 100% ready, I don't miss nursing my DD but I sure wasn't ready for her to wean when she did either so I know eventually I'll get over it. I am gratetful I have had the chance to give my babies breastmilk into their second year, and grateful for the bond it created.
I bought a new bra because my old nursing bras have deteriorated to the point of no longer holding up the girls. So, I checked out K-mart and found THE most comfortable nursing bra I have ever, ever, ever worn. It's seamless and feels like a sports bra, no hooks at the back but it has the clips :) The padding is fantastic too, gives me some shape back unlike any past nursing bra so no more feeling like my boobs are sitting on my belly, they are on my chest again ;) I'm not the smallest when it comes to my bra size, I've been a 10E for as long as I've been breastfeeding so it's expensive and difficult to find a nursing bra. The K-mart one came with 2, for only $20, can't be disappointed in that! Normally I have no choice but to pay $50 upwards for just the one. I'm practically living in it because it's that comfy ;) So, if you are interested, look out for the K-mart brand seamless maternity bra that looks like a sports bra :)
Before I go, I want to say that my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy. I hope everyone stays safe. And if you celebrate halloween, have fun!
Peace, Love & Light xo
I can feel my baby roll and kick, now I can feel movement everywhere. Most of the kicks are low or to my side, occasionally at the very top. Most of the movement tells me DS2 is hanging out transverse, but it is still quite difficult to feel him. My partner tells me it's the placenta getting in the way at the moment, because he can't feel defined shapes and DS2 likes to wriggle around a lot. It's seriously never ending! My partner and I were feeling him kick this week and DD comes up and wanted to have a feel. Her face lit up like it was the best thing in the world, since then she's been telling everyone 'There's a baby in there and the baby's kicking!!'
I bought my BP cuff and stethoscope, I am impressed by the quality for a cheap ebay purchase. The steth is better than the one I had when I was studying nursing and that one wasn't cheap. Mine was attacked by mould because the box was damaged in the move, so I'm pretty happy I have a better replacement. I checked my BP and as I thought, my BP is low normal but totally normal for me, it was at 110/60.
I measured my belly this week, fundus is 24.5cm, and my waist is now 101.5cm or 39.5 inches around. at 22 weeks it was 98cm so I've grown a bit. My poor belly button is stretched so bad it stings an itches often, especially when I've been sitting a while. It's kind of popped out, but I don't think there's much more there to stick out, it's nearly completely flat ;) I've got stretch marks popping up too, but my old ones remain silver unlike my last pregnancy they all went red again but DS was MUCH bigger than DD, by the time I hit 35 weeks with him I was bigger than I was the day I gave birth to DD. I don't mind, my stretch marks aren't ugly, instead they are a mark of what I have done and it's something I am proud of. They're my mama stripes, and I earned them.
My hip has stopped giving me grief at the moment, I get back aches and such still but I can walk with only a little waddle and haven't had a sciatica flare up. It's getting really uncomfortable to sleep though, everything is beginning to hurt. Co-sleeping isn't working anymore, if DS is near he will nurse what feels like ALLLLL night... I was running on just a few hours sleep for 2 days, it was getting to me. I started to feel very depressed, and cried a lot those few days, my partner is working a lot at the moment so I was beginning to get desperate for a nap or just 5 minutes to myself. I'm a bit short tempered too, I admit I'm not the perfect mum, I do yell but I always apologise to the kids. I feel pretty guilty taking out my own frustrations on them, it's not their fault. I sat on the floor while my kids watched a Peppa Pig dvd and just cried after I said sorry. I do remember I get emotional at this stage in my pregnancies, fortunately I know it won't last.
DS is beginning to wean, I can see the end, sort of. He nursed once yesterday (not including when he woke for a nurse in the night) and it was at night to go to sleep for the first time that night. He woke just before we were about to head to bed and he made no effort to nurse when I cuddled him. I did out of habit offer it but he was too sleepy, good thing too, I need to get out of the habit of offering all the time.. so much for don't offer don't refuse, I really did try but if he's grizzy the boob will sort him out, so I just do it. I felt odd not nursing that day until that night, so much of my last 18 months have involved a heck of a lot of breastfeeding. I am not sure what he's doing with his latch though, it looked and felt wrong at one point (and some other times recently) where he seems to be chewing rather than nursing. I shouldn't get upset if he's losing the desire to properly nurse because I WANT him to wean on his own, preferably soon. However, I am feeling overwhelmed with so many changes all of a sudden, deep down I wonder if I will ever be 100% ready, I don't miss nursing my DD but I sure wasn't ready for her to wean when she did either so I know eventually I'll get over it. I am gratetful I have had the chance to give my babies breastmilk into their second year, and grateful for the bond it created.
I bought a new bra because my old nursing bras have deteriorated to the point of no longer holding up the girls. So, I checked out K-mart and found THE most comfortable nursing bra I have ever, ever, ever worn. It's seamless and feels like a sports bra, no hooks at the back but it has the clips :) The padding is fantastic too, gives me some shape back unlike any past nursing bra so no more feeling like my boobs are sitting on my belly, they are on my chest again ;) I'm not the smallest when it comes to my bra size, I've been a 10E for as long as I've been breastfeeding so it's expensive and difficult to find a nursing bra. The K-mart one came with 2, for only $20, can't be disappointed in that! Normally I have no choice but to pay $50 upwards for just the one. I'm practically living in it because it's that comfy ;) So, if you are interested, look out for the K-mart brand seamless maternity bra that looks like a sports bra :)
Before I go, I want to say that my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy. I hope everyone stays safe. And if you celebrate halloween, have fun!
Peace, Love & Light xo
Saturday, 20 October 2012
23 weeks 5 days pregnancy update
I'm 23 weeks and 5 days.
I'm thinking a lot more about the birth. My fiance and I have been discussing it a lot the last 2 days. We're starting to get things organised, I've started researching different herbals to use for the postpartum period and we're about to start buying some things we think we may need - when I revise my list.
Mostly I'm interested in something to ease the afterpains. The afterpains I had with my DS were surprisingly strong. I had none following my first so to have really painful ones second time has me a little nervous about what's in store for after #3. I'm very interested in one suggestion from a doula and mama to 5, magnesium phosphate homeopathic remedy. So I'll be adding that to my list of things to get.
Today and yesterday we have been talking about DS's birth from my his point of view. I love to talk about my births, I also love hearing it from different points of view. It's incredible the things you don't notice! My fiance was telling me how he watched DS's head crown and start to come out as I pushed on my hands and knees and then how DS stopped, turned slightly and as I stood his head came out the rest of the way. He said we waited for about 30 seconds supporting DS's head as his shoulders slowly turned and for the final contraction to come, he said it was very slow to watch, yet for me it felt like it happened so fast.
Bubba seems to have had a growth spurt, I feel like I'm suddenly huge. I have some more stretch marks starting but I don't mind. They fade to silver pretty fast, and they're my mama stripes, I earned them so I'm actually a bit proud of them :) He's kicking a lot more now, I feel him mostly quite low just above my pubic bone and under my belly button and to my sides, not very often right out the front though unless it's a really strong kick. I'm a bit disappointed I won't feel the movements at the front like I do at the sides, so I'll feel bubba a lot less than otherwise until he's much bigger when I can easily feel and see a distinct baby shape roll and move around. That's my favourite point in pregnancy, my last 2 pregnancies I was no longer suffering morning sickness by the time I was 30 weeks and with a belly full of baby. I feel my most energetic, beautiful and strongest when I am early in the 3rd trimester.
DS is nursing often still, I am beginning to suspect I should prepare myself for either more focibly encouraging weaning or get used to the idea of tandem nursing. I secretly wish I could have a break before baby is here, but I want to also soak up every second of my son's nursing stage... he won't be a little nursling forever. It is a bit uncomfortable with a belly, if I don't get the positioning just right it feels like I'm being crushed. Lying down is how I nurse him when I can, otherwise I'll make myself a nest of pillows.
Nursing at 18 months, I love his sweet little face <3
I've started to get some heartburn this week, and for some reason I've been craving cows milk. Since we don't have any apples at the moment I have been relying on the milk to neutralise the acid, as well as the craving. It is next to impossible to sleep when your chest feels like it's on fire. It does work, but apples are my favourite heartburn remedy.
The pain I've been getting in my pelvis/hip has been on and off good and bad. For 4 days I was limping and in a fair bit of pain. I rolled over in bed one morning and my hips cracked and I've only had occasional aches since. I suspect what was going on was my hips were just a bit out and it was putting pressure on the sciatic nerve, when it popped back into place the pressure wasn't there but it still feels a little bit bruised. I can walk fine now, which means I don't have to worry that it won't go away next time if it happens again. I was starting to wonder by day 4, even thinking of seeing a physiotherapist through the local public hospital (it would cost me an arm and a leg to go about it privately). I'm looking into alternatives, because to be honest, the physiotherapy I had when I was pregnant with DS was a waste of time.
Here's a belly pic taken earlier this week (23+1) I'm absolutely in love with my dress (it's new) and apparently it really shows off my bump :)
Well that's it for now, until next time :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
I'm thinking a lot more about the birth. My fiance and I have been discussing it a lot the last 2 days. We're starting to get things organised, I've started researching different herbals to use for the postpartum period and we're about to start buying some things we think we may need - when I revise my list.
Mostly I'm interested in something to ease the afterpains. The afterpains I had with my DS were surprisingly strong. I had none following my first so to have really painful ones second time has me a little nervous about what's in store for after #3. I'm very interested in one suggestion from a doula and mama to 5, magnesium phosphate homeopathic remedy. So I'll be adding that to my list of things to get.
Today and yesterday we have been talking about DS's birth from my his point of view. I love to talk about my births, I also love hearing it from different points of view. It's incredible the things you don't notice! My fiance was telling me how he watched DS's head crown and start to come out as I pushed on my hands and knees and then how DS stopped, turned slightly and as I stood his head came out the rest of the way. He said we waited for about 30 seconds supporting DS's head as his shoulders slowly turned and for the final contraction to come, he said it was very slow to watch, yet for me it felt like it happened so fast.
Bubba seems to have had a growth spurt, I feel like I'm suddenly huge. I have some more stretch marks starting but I don't mind. They fade to silver pretty fast, and they're my mama stripes, I earned them so I'm actually a bit proud of them :) He's kicking a lot more now, I feel him mostly quite low just above my pubic bone and under my belly button and to my sides, not very often right out the front though unless it's a really strong kick. I'm a bit disappointed I won't feel the movements at the front like I do at the sides, so I'll feel bubba a lot less than otherwise until he's much bigger when I can easily feel and see a distinct baby shape roll and move around. That's my favourite point in pregnancy, my last 2 pregnancies I was no longer suffering morning sickness by the time I was 30 weeks and with a belly full of baby. I feel my most energetic, beautiful and strongest when I am early in the 3rd trimester.
DS is nursing often still, I am beginning to suspect I should prepare myself for either more focibly encouraging weaning or get used to the idea of tandem nursing. I secretly wish I could have a break before baby is here, but I want to also soak up every second of my son's nursing stage... he won't be a little nursling forever. It is a bit uncomfortable with a belly, if I don't get the positioning just right it feels like I'm being crushed. Lying down is how I nurse him when I can, otherwise I'll make myself a nest of pillows.
Nursing at 18 months, I love his sweet little face <3
I've started to get some heartburn this week, and for some reason I've been craving cows milk. Since we don't have any apples at the moment I have been relying on the milk to neutralise the acid, as well as the craving. It is next to impossible to sleep when your chest feels like it's on fire. It does work, but apples are my favourite heartburn remedy.
The pain I've been getting in my pelvis/hip has been on and off good and bad. For 4 days I was limping and in a fair bit of pain. I rolled over in bed one morning and my hips cracked and I've only had occasional aches since. I suspect what was going on was my hips were just a bit out and it was putting pressure on the sciatic nerve, when it popped back into place the pressure wasn't there but it still feels a little bit bruised. I can walk fine now, which means I don't have to worry that it won't go away next time if it happens again. I was starting to wonder by day 4, even thinking of seeing a physiotherapist through the local public hospital (it would cost me an arm and a leg to go about it privately). I'm looking into alternatives, because to be honest, the physiotherapy I had when I was pregnant with DS was a waste of time.
Here's a belly pic taken earlier this week (23+1) I'm absolutely in love with my dress (it's new) and apparently it really shows off my bump :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Saturday, 13 October 2012
Week 22
I've had a really hard week this week. This week is week 22, Monday marks 23 weeks of this pregnancy gone, just another 17ish more weeks to go.
Morning sickness has made a comeback... not that it ever went, but it is bad again. At least this time I'm not nauseated the whole day. Mornings are a horrible time for me. My fiance just knows every morning where to find me if I'm not in bed... I admit, there have been plenty of times this pregnancy where I've cried over the toilet bowl.
Sleep is becoming more difficult, I can't find a position that doesn't hurt or make me feel dizzy. Up until last week I was happily sleeping on my right side. I know, you're *supposed* to sleep on the left because baby could compress a major artery but I could not sleep on my left without feeling sick and being in pain, now I feel, for lack of a better word, weird while I sleep on that side. A clear signal to me, telling me to stop sleeping that way. Unfortunately, now that I'm sleeping on my other side and can't really move, because I can't roll, my hips have decided now is the time to start hurting big time.
I am waddling around the house now, I had sacroiliac pain last pregnancy, I thought that was bad... clearly I just needed to get pregnant again.. I find it difficult to put weight on one leg (usually my left) because of the pain in my hip sometimes, thankfully I can avoid triggering the pain so I'm not always hurting. At night is when it is at its worst, and picking up my heavy toddler doesn't help.
I went to the local Healthy Living store for my birthday in September and bought a bath soak, I got a Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. Magnesium bath soak. Website is here: Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. I'm buying the whole collection when I get the money ;) I really did feel so much better after my bath, and the smell is so relaxing. My muscles stopped aching for that day and the next, and for a few days my skin was super soft as well. I got the de-stress one, the essential oils added are: Rosewood, Bergamot, Patchouli, Frankincence, Geranium, Lavender and Ylang Ylang. I have the empty packet at my desk just to keep smelling it, it's that good.
DS is still nursing as much as ever. For a while breastfeeding was painful and felt like a chore. I was starting to hate it. I was starting to want DS to wean, just to have my boobs back. I still have really sensitive breasts, nursing is just like nursing a newborn except he's bigger and has teeth. The sensitivity is sometimes enough to scare me into not wanting to nurse, but when I do it does go away after a moment or so and nursing is pleasant again. Nursing through pregnancy is way more up and down than I could have ever guessed. I'm glad I am doing it, mainly because I know I would have missed out on so much (the cuddles and being able to get him to sleep easily..also my baby kicking his brother while he nurses... I doubt DS feels it yet but I do) if I weaned my son when he was 13 months, when we first started TTC. I have no mature milk now, it's all colostrum again. Thick and yellowish white, liquid gold. It seems to not bother DS in the slightest, not even runny bowel movements which happens because colostrum has a laxative effect to clear out the meconium from a newborn's bowel. I'm enjoying each snuggly nursing session while I can still, last month I was not sure if we would get to 18 months of breastfeeding. My milk was transitioning and my nipples hurt and DS was teething. As I write this, he has a cold, so he's back to nursing like a newborn. I've counted 5 times so far today and it's not even 1:30pm.
I'm not sure what's going to happen when the baby is here.... DS gets extremely jealous when his sister has a cuddle from me, he'll have a tantrum! It's distressing at times when I NEED to be reassuring my DD and he comes up and has a fit because I'm cuddling his sister not him. I'm not sure if this is a phase or if I need to start doing something to help him cope with seeing another baby getting loves from mummy.
I've got more to write about but I have to get going, our little family is off to the festival at the beach this afternoon so we've got to start getting ready now :)
Apologies if there are grammatical and spelling errors, I'll edit later on if need be.. I'm not overly picky if there's one or 2 mistakes ;)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Morning sickness has made a comeback... not that it ever went, but it is bad again. At least this time I'm not nauseated the whole day. Mornings are a horrible time for me. My fiance just knows every morning where to find me if I'm not in bed... I admit, there have been plenty of times this pregnancy where I've cried over the toilet bowl.
Sleep is becoming more difficult, I can't find a position that doesn't hurt or make me feel dizzy. Up until last week I was happily sleeping on my right side. I know, you're *supposed* to sleep on the left because baby could compress a major artery but I could not sleep on my left without feeling sick and being in pain, now I feel, for lack of a better word, weird while I sleep on that side. A clear signal to me, telling me to stop sleeping that way. Unfortunately, now that I'm sleeping on my other side and can't really move, because I can't roll, my hips have decided now is the time to start hurting big time.
I am waddling around the house now, I had sacroiliac pain last pregnancy, I thought that was bad... clearly I just needed to get pregnant again.. I find it difficult to put weight on one leg (usually my left) because of the pain in my hip sometimes, thankfully I can avoid triggering the pain so I'm not always hurting. At night is when it is at its worst, and picking up my heavy toddler doesn't help.
I went to the local Healthy Living store for my birthday in September and bought a bath soak, I got a Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. Magnesium bath soak. Website is here: Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. I'm buying the whole collection when I get the money ;) I really did feel so much better after my bath, and the smell is so relaxing. My muscles stopped aching for that day and the next, and for a few days my skin was super soft as well. I got the de-stress one, the essential oils added are: Rosewood, Bergamot, Patchouli, Frankincence, Geranium, Lavender and Ylang Ylang. I have the empty packet at my desk just to keep smelling it, it's that good.
DS is still nursing as much as ever. For a while breastfeeding was painful and felt like a chore. I was starting to hate it. I was starting to want DS to wean, just to have my boobs back. I still have really sensitive breasts, nursing is just like nursing a newborn except he's bigger and has teeth. The sensitivity is sometimes enough to scare me into not wanting to nurse, but when I do it does go away after a moment or so and nursing is pleasant again. Nursing through pregnancy is way more up and down than I could have ever guessed. I'm glad I am doing it, mainly because I know I would have missed out on so much (the cuddles and being able to get him to sleep easily..also my baby kicking his brother while he nurses... I doubt DS feels it yet but I do) if I weaned my son when he was 13 months, when we first started TTC. I have no mature milk now, it's all colostrum again. Thick and yellowish white, liquid gold. It seems to not bother DS in the slightest, not even runny bowel movements which happens because colostrum has a laxative effect to clear out the meconium from a newborn's bowel. I'm enjoying each snuggly nursing session while I can still, last month I was not sure if we would get to 18 months of breastfeeding. My milk was transitioning and my nipples hurt and DS was teething. As I write this, he has a cold, so he's back to nursing like a newborn. I've counted 5 times so far today and it's not even 1:30pm.
I'm not sure what's going to happen when the baby is here.... DS gets extremely jealous when his sister has a cuddle from me, he'll have a tantrum! It's distressing at times when I NEED to be reassuring my DD and he comes up and has a fit because I'm cuddling his sister not him. I'm not sure if this is a phase or if I need to start doing something to help him cope with seeing another baby getting loves from mummy.
I've got more to write about but I have to get going, our little family is off to the festival at the beach this afternoon so we've got to start getting ready now :)
Apologies if there are grammatical and spelling errors, I'll edit later on if need be.. I'm not overly picky if there's one or 2 mistakes ;)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Thursday, 6 September 2012
17 weeks 5 days update
17 weeks 5 days.
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
Saturday, 1 September 2012
16 weeks 5 days
I'm 16 weeks and 5 days today. It's going pretty fast, maybe too fast. Soon I'll be halfway, or over half way if I birth before my 'EDD'.
I've started taking iron supplements, I'm not feeling quite as exhausted now. I actually feel pretty good. I've still got morning sickness, but it is getting so much better.
My belly is growing fast, I can feel a lot of stretching going on. It can get pretty painful, my skin is feeling quite tight too so I got some coconut oil and so far it's helping a lot. In fact, my skin has never felt so good. I usually have really dry skin, even though I live in the tropics. Now, my skin feels healthy, it's so weird! I love it. Now that my belly is getting bigger it is getting harder to do some things. My uterus is reaching my navel now, I can't wait until I can feel the kicks stronger. At the moment, I hardly feel a thing, a flutter here and there but nothing I notice too much.
I am still yet to book the ultrasound. I really need to get my butt into gear, I know I have no reason to believe there is a problem, but just in case. It's the only intervention I do agree with really, but I don't know what the statistics say about improving outcomes.
I'm still nursing, some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I'm taking each day as it comes. If DS nurses less during a day I feel sad at the though of him weaning already. Lucky for me he's not ready. I won't force him. I'm opening my mind up to tandem nursing, but I'll only do it with support from my partner, and he's not comfortable with it enough to support me, he's desperate for DS to wean as it is. He's not going to make me feel bad for not though, he is encouraging me to offer other things instead of a nurse though, at the moment DS nurses mainly to have a nap and during the night for comfort, so he's realised at the moment it's better to just let me nurse DS.
I watched a birth video the other day that had me a bit freaked out, honestly. It was one of the British TV shows called Home Birth Diaries. In one of the episodes,This on where the baby went into distress, baby was was born floppy and needed resuscitation. It was eye opening seeing it happen, and see the midwives work. It was good to see the skills used and to see how it is supposed to work. We're still doing a refresher course for our Senior First Aid though.
I am excited about the birth, I can't wait to see what my little baby looks like. Both my kids looked totally different, DD was blonde and had fuzzy straight hair and tiny, DS was chunky (he had fat rolls everywhere) and had black curly hair. It's impossible to imagine what my baby will look like. I'm expecting a chunky baby though, I know that at least, I am quite healthy like I was when I was pregnant with DS. I don't think too much about what labour will be like, mainly because I know it will probably be nothing like it. There's no point trying to guess what labour will be like, it works in mysterious ways ;)
DD is excited about having a new baby brother or sister, she likes to touch my belly and talk to baby. I wonder what is going through her mind when she does that... DS has no idea or ability to comprehend me being pregnant, he just knows mummy's milk is starting to change, and there isn't as much but he still gets boobie when he's tired and wants to sleep. He gets jealous when DD and I cuddle, sometimes I worry about how he will be with the new baby. He will still be relatively young, only 22 months... but I do remember DD was very different to how she was at 16 months as to 22 months. He's still got a lot of developing to do in a short time. I keep forgetting sometimes how much kids learn in such short spaces of time.
Well, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often. It's quite relaxing to write, I really only get the time when the kids are asleep and my partner is at work though, this is alone time for me :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
I've started taking iron supplements, I'm not feeling quite as exhausted now. I actually feel pretty good. I've still got morning sickness, but it is getting so much better.
My belly is growing fast, I can feel a lot of stretching going on. It can get pretty painful, my skin is feeling quite tight too so I got some coconut oil and so far it's helping a lot. In fact, my skin has never felt so good. I usually have really dry skin, even though I live in the tropics. Now, my skin feels healthy, it's so weird! I love it. Now that my belly is getting bigger it is getting harder to do some things. My uterus is reaching my navel now, I can't wait until I can feel the kicks stronger. At the moment, I hardly feel a thing, a flutter here and there but nothing I notice too much.
I am still yet to book the ultrasound. I really need to get my butt into gear, I know I have no reason to believe there is a problem, but just in case. It's the only intervention I do agree with really, but I don't know what the statistics say about improving outcomes.
I'm still nursing, some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I'm taking each day as it comes. If DS nurses less during a day I feel sad at the though of him weaning already. Lucky for me he's not ready. I won't force him. I'm opening my mind up to tandem nursing, but I'll only do it with support from my partner, and he's not comfortable with it enough to support me, he's desperate for DS to wean as it is. He's not going to make me feel bad for not though, he is encouraging me to offer other things instead of a nurse though, at the moment DS nurses mainly to have a nap and during the night for comfort, so he's realised at the moment it's better to just let me nurse DS.
I watched a birth video the other day that had me a bit freaked out, honestly. It was one of the British TV shows called Home Birth Diaries. In one of the episodes,This on where the baby went into distress, baby was was born floppy and needed resuscitation. It was eye opening seeing it happen, and see the midwives work. It was good to see the skills used and to see how it is supposed to work. We're still doing a refresher course for our Senior First Aid though.
I am excited about the birth, I can't wait to see what my little baby looks like. Both my kids looked totally different, DD was blonde and had fuzzy straight hair and tiny, DS was chunky (he had fat rolls everywhere) and had black curly hair. It's impossible to imagine what my baby will look like. I'm expecting a chunky baby though, I know that at least, I am quite healthy like I was when I was pregnant with DS. I don't think too much about what labour will be like, mainly because I know it will probably be nothing like it. There's no point trying to guess what labour will be like, it works in mysterious ways ;)
DD is excited about having a new baby brother or sister, she likes to touch my belly and talk to baby. I wonder what is going through her mind when she does that... DS has no idea or ability to comprehend me being pregnant, he just knows mummy's milk is starting to change, and there isn't as much but he still gets boobie when he's tired and wants to sleep. He gets jealous when DD and I cuddle, sometimes I worry about how he will be with the new baby. He will still be relatively young, only 22 months... but I do remember DD was very different to how she was at 16 months as to 22 months. He's still got a lot of developing to do in a short time. I keep forgetting sometimes how much kids learn in such short spaces of time.
Well, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often. It's quite relaxing to write, I really only get the time when the kids are asleep and my partner is at work though, this is alone time for me :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Friday, 3 August 2012
12 weeks 5 days
I am 13 weeks in 2 days, and I think I've pulled a muscle from throwing up.
I feel bruised and it's uncomfortable to move and breathe, it hurts worse after being sick, which is at least 4 times a day. Ginger isn't working so I'm focusing on getting food in and drinking plenty, I feel great when the nausea goes so I know I'm getting enough in. I'm gaining weight and I've got a little round belly.
DS is cutting down his nursing, he nurses about 4 times a day and sleeps almost through the night without waking to nurse. He's cutting his inscisors, all 4 currently, so I suspect he may cut down more, part of me is glad, another part of me desperately wants him to nurse as long as he wants not because I'm pregnant and milk supply is going. I love breastfeeding him, it settles him 99% of the time, not that he's an unsettled one, for the most part he's pretty chilled ;)
I'm taking each day as it comes, I hope to at least nurse DS until he is 18 months, I'd really be happy if he weans later rather than sooner. I won't mnd tandem if that means only nursing DS before he sleeps, but there's no way I can cope with a newborn and nursing DS as often as he does now. Because I'm running out of milk, I give him drinks of water rather than nurse, as much as I really didn't want to, I'm leading weaning. Hoping it happens slowly but not too slowly. We'll just have to see how things are going.
I'm waiting for my doppler to arrive, I can't wait to finally hear the heart tones. We only plan 1, at 20 weeks to check out how bub's growing and rule out things that may complicate birth and rule out things that would require immediate high care, something we cannot provide. We're not having the genetic testing, or any blood tests at all.
We are getting blood typing cards, because we should be able to use whatever cord blood there is (after the 3rd stage is over) to determine blood tupe. The ones we're looking at will tells us if he/she is rh neg or rh pos, it will be easy to call my gp or head to the hospital for the rh shot within 72 hours of birth, I'm considering having the shot at 35 weeks or maybe a little sooner, since it lasts for about 12 weeks but I'm looking more into it at the moment before I make my decision. I have plenty of time.
I'm going to get vit k supplements for myself, DS had the vit k shot after birth because he was very bruised, he looked red in pictures for a while, his eyes were very red they were too dark to see what colour his eyes were (see pic) at the time the red concerned me so I gave permission for the shot, the only one my son has had in his life (he is vax free).
I am not sure of my family's history, but I am aware my father had an issue with bruising as a child (he would roll around and the floor and be covered) which was why I agreed to the shot and not asked for the oral vit k, I was concerned he was already bleeding. I need to find out exactly what the issue was with my dad, so I know if I should have the oral one on hand or if me taking extra will be ok. I don't intend to not have the vit k altogether.
I am currently saving to get The Healing Passage, a book for midwives on tearing, I tore nearly 3rd degree, and although I know exactly why I tore that badly (I ignored my body telling me to pant while he was crowning) I want to know more. I tore internally, very unlike an episiotomy so I don't have scarring that I can feel/ massage prior to birth, I hope this means if I control the pushing stage, I can avoid tearing altogether like with my first (I only had grazes). I'm not afraid of tearing anymore though, it's way less painful than a broken coccyx ;)
That's it for now. DS has nursed to sleep so it's time to move him to bed.
Peace, Love & Light
I feel bruised and it's uncomfortable to move and breathe, it hurts worse after being sick, which is at least 4 times a day. Ginger isn't working so I'm focusing on getting food in and drinking plenty, I feel great when the nausea goes so I know I'm getting enough in. I'm gaining weight and I've got a little round belly.
DS is cutting down his nursing, he nurses about 4 times a day and sleeps almost through the night without waking to nurse. He's cutting his inscisors, all 4 currently, so I suspect he may cut down more, part of me is glad, another part of me desperately wants him to nurse as long as he wants not because I'm pregnant and milk supply is going. I love breastfeeding him, it settles him 99% of the time, not that he's an unsettled one, for the most part he's pretty chilled ;)
I'm taking each day as it comes, I hope to at least nurse DS until he is 18 months, I'd really be happy if he weans later rather than sooner. I won't mnd tandem if that means only nursing DS before he sleeps, but there's no way I can cope with a newborn and nursing DS as often as he does now. Because I'm running out of milk, I give him drinks of water rather than nurse, as much as I really didn't want to, I'm leading weaning. Hoping it happens slowly but not too slowly. We'll just have to see how things are going.
I'm waiting for my doppler to arrive, I can't wait to finally hear the heart tones. We only plan 1, at 20 weeks to check out how bub's growing and rule out things that may complicate birth and rule out things that would require immediate high care, something we cannot provide. We're not having the genetic testing, or any blood tests at all.
We are getting blood typing cards, because we should be able to use whatever cord blood there is (after the 3rd stage is over) to determine blood tupe. The ones we're looking at will tells us if he/she is rh neg or rh pos, it will be easy to call my gp or head to the hospital for the rh shot within 72 hours of birth, I'm considering having the shot at 35 weeks or maybe a little sooner, since it lasts for about 12 weeks but I'm looking more into it at the moment before I make my decision. I have plenty of time.
I'm going to get vit k supplements for myself, DS had the vit k shot after birth because he was very bruised, he looked red in pictures for a while, his eyes were very red they were too dark to see what colour his eyes were (see pic) at the time the red concerned me so I gave permission for the shot, the only one my son has had in his life (he is vax free).
 |
| DS less than 24 hours old |
I am currently saving to get The Healing Passage, a book for midwives on tearing, I tore nearly 3rd degree, and although I know exactly why I tore that badly (I ignored my body telling me to pant while he was crowning) I want to know more. I tore internally, very unlike an episiotomy so I don't have scarring that I can feel/ massage prior to birth, I hope this means if I control the pushing stage, I can avoid tearing altogether like with my first (I only had grazes). I'm not afraid of tearing anymore though, it's way less painful than a broken coccyx ;)
That's it for now. DS has nursed to sleep so it's time to move him to bed.
Peace, Love & Light
Friday, 6 July 2012
8 weeks 5 days
Morning sickness is beginning to drain me, the first thing I experience when I wake is nausea, if I manage to fight the urge to empty my stomach and eat or drink, I end up losing the fight. During the day I'm generally ok, waves of nausea hit me every now and again but I don't feel the need to throw up. I'm struggling to get enough water down, if I drink too fast I get sick, if I drink too slow I don't feel any relief from the dryness in my mouth. Eating hardly helps, I'm just getting by each minute as it comes, emotionally I've been a mess.
Breastfeeding is becoming uncomfortable, I'm still making plenty of milk and DS is still very attatched to his boobie but I find myself wishing he would wean. He still wakes during the night to nurse, sometimes he doesn't want to sleep afterwards, I'm at the point where I want to night wean, just to get a decent sleep to get through the next day. I never thought I would say that.....I'm all for waiting for him to wean naturally, but I think being pregnant and having super sensitive and sore nipples, and the pain during let down - with all that new breast tissue that seems to be growing (seriously boobs, stop growing, E is big enough) is a good enough reason to want to wean. DS may still need the breast, I'm not going to deny him at all, but I can wish he didn't, right? Right now, I'm gently 'weaning' by the 'Don't offer, don't refuse' method. Mother led weaning is not something I am against, so I feel no guilt, as much as I did want to go to at least 2 years, I'm just not sure I'll get there. Unless he decides he needs it, I'm not going out of my way to nurse. I still find myself nursing throughout the day and night so I don't see him weaning yet, but like I said, night times would be nice if I could sleep so night weaning is something that is becoming enticing. I'm not the sort of person that NEEDS her body back, after all, I have been pregnant or breastfeeding non stop since july '08, but I do get the 'touched out' feeling and just want to be left alone, lately it's happening more often. Until recently, I had never heard of nursing aversion, something that happens during pregnancy for some women. I think it's something I may or am experiencing. I really hope this does pass.
I'm just taking each day, each moment as it comes, trying to enjoy every moment. Waiting for the right time to announce the pregnancy to our families and announce it publicly. I don't want to leave it much longer, I haven't spoken to my parents much since I moved, there was a bit of drama so I'm very nervous about calling (for the first time since the fight, I might add) and telling them I am having another baby. OH is going to tell his mother, he knows she's going to freak out, she's never been one to not say what she thinks, she has already told me not to have another baby, that 2 is enough. I'm glad he's going to bite that bullet, I'm scared enough about telling my own parents....
Mostly, though, I can hardly wait to share my news to the world (besides to this blog) a new life is something to celebrate, not hide. I want this to be a happy experience, rather than one filled with worry over what someone else will say or think.
We're still UPing currently, besides eat as best as I can and drink as much water as I need, there's very little I need to do. I'm yet to purchase the doppler, when I do, I'll be keeping checks to a mimimum since there's actually no studies done on the safety of sound waves on a growing fetus - there is something I have read about sound waves popping bubbles of fluid in the growing embryo so I want to minimise the risk of something happening. I'm not one to want to mess with nature. Once a month unless I'm worried should be more than enough. Both OH and I have agreed there's no need to have an ultrasound/blood test to at 13 weeks, we are sticking with just 1, the morphology scan which may give us information as to whether to seek assistance for the birth or coninue with our plans to freebirth. There is no test in the world that can tell us for certain if our baby is going to be healthy or not prior to birth, it's our faith in nature that is telling is our baby will grow fine and be a healthy baby. I have complete faith, so I do this without fear.
Peace, Love and Light xo
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