So here I am, in my 30th week of pregnancy. I could have anywhere from 8 weeks left if bub comes as early as his big sister but I hope he stays put closer to 40 weeks.
I'm getting on and off nervous about pushing out a baby again. I don't know if he'll be in a good postition yet as it feels like he's posterior a lot of the time right now. I almost permanently have a leg across my belly just above my belly button which stretches up into my ribs, and I can feel a heck of a lot of movement at my left hip, I can't palpate his back so it's either under the placenta or he's back to back with me, he moves a lot so it is very likely to be any at any given time. I've had feet or hands poking out and it is actually really uncomfortable! I never experienced this with either of my previous pregnancies. I do know the reason why, I have spent a fair bit of time reclining with a toddler (19 months now) nursing he just moves out the way of DS1.
I am getting no hip pain at all, just a bit of crunching as I walk but no pain. Very different to my last pregnancy where I was in constant pain from 25 weeks.
I get a lot of ligament pain now though, baby is sitting low probably due to the fact that this is my 3rd pregnancy and I've had no longer than 15 months between them, it is bothersome at the moment because we are in between gas bottles for the hot water so no warm baths for me.
I have started knitting a blanket for bub, I hope I get it finished within the next few weeks, even though we're quite busy and I don't get much time to sit and knit. We're in the process of organising a move. Our lease ends late Jan so we have to break lease or we'll be moving when I could go into labour at any time. Not safe in my opinion, I need somewhere I feel 100% comfortable and settled. It does bother me a lot, I moved when I was 36 weeks with DS1 and that was too much, I have birth at 39 weeks to the day so I had 3 weeks to unpack and get settled. I only barely did feel settled.
I've decided to book into the hospital and just go in within 24 hours after the birth so they can get all the paperwork for me and do the PKU heel prick, I decided it's not worth the stress doing it on my own just in case I do it wrong (the government website is just not clear enough for me to be 100% on what actually needs to be done, some parts say the birth has to be notified within 2 working days then another section says it has to be registered within 60 days, no telling the actual difference between notification and registration sometimes it is written as though they are the same thing) that and the PKU is something I will not decline, I know that it is nothing more than a heel prick that can tell us a lot. I will not be getting admitted, there's nothing that will make me stay in that hospital if the birth and postpartum are the same as my previous births - complication free.
My belly is growing fast now, in one week my bump filled out so that side on my belly looks a little square... just like DS1's pregnancy. My fundus was measuring at 30cm at 28+5 and my belly measures 102cm around (started off 93 cm, I've grown 9cm!). My blood pressure has stayed well within my normal, last check was 100/60. I'm feeling better now, less tired and practically no nausea :) I haven't been sick in about a week (but literally, as I wrote this a wave of nausea took over and I ended up sick...great fun..).
I've started reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, I am in love with this book! Half the time I find myself daydreaming and reminiscing about my births while I read the birth stories that have similarities or something that is mentioned makes me wish I knew before now. I am desperate to get my hands on Spiritual Midwifery now, it's the next thing on my list to get.
Not much else has been going on really. I'm under a bit of stress but the pregnancy is going great. I'm hoping life settles down a bit more over the next few weeks..
Until next time
Peace Love & Light xo
Monday, 26 November 2012
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
25 weeks 3 days
I am feeling very pregnant now, my fundus is clearly above my navel and when I sit my belly looks like a basket ball stuffed under my shirt. It's quite cute. I love having a round belly, it's the only time in my life I feel completely at ease with my body, and can see beauty. I normally don't, I'm not the kind of person who looks in the mirror and is satisfied with what I see.
I can feel my baby roll and kick, now I can feel movement everywhere. Most of the kicks are low or to my side, occasionally at the very top. Most of the movement tells me DS2 is hanging out transverse, but it is still quite difficult to feel him. My partner tells me it's the placenta getting in the way at the moment, because he can't feel defined shapes and DS2 likes to wriggle around a lot. It's seriously never ending! My partner and I were feeling him kick this week and DD comes up and wanted to have a feel. Her face lit up like it was the best thing in the world, since then she's been telling everyone 'There's a baby in there and the baby's kicking!!'
I bought my BP cuff and stethoscope, I am impressed by the quality for a cheap ebay purchase. The steth is better than the one I had when I was studying nursing and that one wasn't cheap. Mine was attacked by mould because the box was damaged in the move, so I'm pretty happy I have a better replacement. I checked my BP and as I thought, my BP is low normal but totally normal for me, it was at 110/60.
I measured my belly this week, fundus is 24.5cm, and my waist is now 101.5cm or 39.5 inches around. at 22 weeks it was 98cm so I've grown a bit. My poor belly button is stretched so bad it stings an itches often, especially when I've been sitting a while. It's kind of popped out, but I don't think there's much more there to stick out, it's nearly completely flat ;) I've got stretch marks popping up too, but my old ones remain silver unlike my last pregnancy they all went red again but DS was MUCH bigger than DD, by the time I hit 35 weeks with him I was bigger than I was the day I gave birth to DD. I don't mind, my stretch marks aren't ugly, instead they are a mark of what I have done and it's something I am proud of. They're my mama stripes, and I earned them.
My hip has stopped giving me grief at the moment, I get back aches and such still but I can walk with only a little waddle and haven't had a sciatica flare up. It's getting really uncomfortable to sleep though, everything is beginning to hurt. Co-sleeping isn't working anymore, if DS is near he will nurse what feels like ALLLLL night... I was running on just a few hours sleep for 2 days, it was getting to me. I started to feel very depressed, and cried a lot those few days, my partner is working a lot at the moment so I was beginning to get desperate for a nap or just 5 minutes to myself. I'm a bit short tempered too, I admit I'm not the perfect mum, I do yell but I always apologise to the kids. I feel pretty guilty taking out my own frustrations on them, it's not their fault. I sat on the floor while my kids watched a Peppa Pig dvd and just cried after I said sorry. I do remember I get emotional at this stage in my pregnancies, fortunately I know it won't last.
DS is beginning to wean, I can see the end, sort of. He nursed once yesterday (not including when he woke for a nurse in the night) and it was at night to go to sleep for the first time that night. He woke just before we were about to head to bed and he made no effort to nurse when I cuddled him. I did out of habit offer it but he was too sleepy, good thing too, I need to get out of the habit of offering all the time.. so much for don't offer don't refuse, I really did try but if he's grizzy the boob will sort him out, so I just do it. I felt odd not nursing that day until that night, so much of my last 18 months have involved a heck of a lot of breastfeeding. I am not sure what he's doing with his latch though, it looked and felt wrong at one point (and some other times recently) where he seems to be chewing rather than nursing. I shouldn't get upset if he's losing the desire to properly nurse because I WANT him to wean on his own, preferably soon. However, I am feeling overwhelmed with so many changes all of a sudden, deep down I wonder if I will ever be 100% ready, I don't miss nursing my DD but I sure wasn't ready for her to wean when she did either so I know eventually I'll get over it. I am gratetful I have had the chance to give my babies breastmilk into their second year, and grateful for the bond it created.
I bought a new bra because my old nursing bras have deteriorated to the point of no longer holding up the girls. So, I checked out K-mart and found THE most comfortable nursing bra I have ever, ever, ever worn. It's seamless and feels like a sports bra, no hooks at the back but it has the clips :) The padding is fantastic too, gives me some shape back unlike any past nursing bra so no more feeling like my boobs are sitting on my belly, they are on my chest again ;) I'm not the smallest when it comes to my bra size, I've been a 10E for as long as I've been breastfeeding so it's expensive and difficult to find a nursing bra. The K-mart one came with 2, for only $20, can't be disappointed in that! Normally I have no choice but to pay $50 upwards for just the one. I'm practically living in it because it's that comfy ;) So, if you are interested, look out for the K-mart brand seamless maternity bra that looks like a sports bra :)
Before I go, I want to say that my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy. I hope everyone stays safe. And if you celebrate halloween, have fun!
Peace, Love & Light xo
I can feel my baby roll and kick, now I can feel movement everywhere. Most of the kicks are low or to my side, occasionally at the very top. Most of the movement tells me DS2 is hanging out transverse, but it is still quite difficult to feel him. My partner tells me it's the placenta getting in the way at the moment, because he can't feel defined shapes and DS2 likes to wriggle around a lot. It's seriously never ending! My partner and I were feeling him kick this week and DD comes up and wanted to have a feel. Her face lit up like it was the best thing in the world, since then she's been telling everyone 'There's a baby in there and the baby's kicking!!'
I bought my BP cuff and stethoscope, I am impressed by the quality for a cheap ebay purchase. The steth is better than the one I had when I was studying nursing and that one wasn't cheap. Mine was attacked by mould because the box was damaged in the move, so I'm pretty happy I have a better replacement. I checked my BP and as I thought, my BP is low normal but totally normal for me, it was at 110/60.
I measured my belly this week, fundus is 24.5cm, and my waist is now 101.5cm or 39.5 inches around. at 22 weeks it was 98cm so I've grown a bit. My poor belly button is stretched so bad it stings an itches often, especially when I've been sitting a while. It's kind of popped out, but I don't think there's much more there to stick out, it's nearly completely flat ;) I've got stretch marks popping up too, but my old ones remain silver unlike my last pregnancy they all went red again but DS was MUCH bigger than DD, by the time I hit 35 weeks with him I was bigger than I was the day I gave birth to DD. I don't mind, my stretch marks aren't ugly, instead they are a mark of what I have done and it's something I am proud of. They're my mama stripes, and I earned them.
My hip has stopped giving me grief at the moment, I get back aches and such still but I can walk with only a little waddle and haven't had a sciatica flare up. It's getting really uncomfortable to sleep though, everything is beginning to hurt. Co-sleeping isn't working anymore, if DS is near he will nurse what feels like ALLLLL night... I was running on just a few hours sleep for 2 days, it was getting to me. I started to feel very depressed, and cried a lot those few days, my partner is working a lot at the moment so I was beginning to get desperate for a nap or just 5 minutes to myself. I'm a bit short tempered too, I admit I'm not the perfect mum, I do yell but I always apologise to the kids. I feel pretty guilty taking out my own frustrations on them, it's not their fault. I sat on the floor while my kids watched a Peppa Pig dvd and just cried after I said sorry. I do remember I get emotional at this stage in my pregnancies, fortunately I know it won't last.
DS is beginning to wean, I can see the end, sort of. He nursed once yesterday (not including when he woke for a nurse in the night) and it was at night to go to sleep for the first time that night. He woke just before we were about to head to bed and he made no effort to nurse when I cuddled him. I did out of habit offer it but he was too sleepy, good thing too, I need to get out of the habit of offering all the time.. so much for don't offer don't refuse, I really did try but if he's grizzy the boob will sort him out, so I just do it. I felt odd not nursing that day until that night, so much of my last 18 months have involved a heck of a lot of breastfeeding. I am not sure what he's doing with his latch though, it looked and felt wrong at one point (and some other times recently) where he seems to be chewing rather than nursing. I shouldn't get upset if he's losing the desire to properly nurse because I WANT him to wean on his own, preferably soon. However, I am feeling overwhelmed with so many changes all of a sudden, deep down I wonder if I will ever be 100% ready, I don't miss nursing my DD but I sure wasn't ready for her to wean when she did either so I know eventually I'll get over it. I am gratetful I have had the chance to give my babies breastmilk into their second year, and grateful for the bond it created.
I bought a new bra because my old nursing bras have deteriorated to the point of no longer holding up the girls. So, I checked out K-mart and found THE most comfortable nursing bra I have ever, ever, ever worn. It's seamless and feels like a sports bra, no hooks at the back but it has the clips :) The padding is fantastic too, gives me some shape back unlike any past nursing bra so no more feeling like my boobs are sitting on my belly, they are on my chest again ;) I'm not the smallest when it comes to my bra size, I've been a 10E for as long as I've been breastfeeding so it's expensive and difficult to find a nursing bra. The K-mart one came with 2, for only $20, can't be disappointed in that! Normally I have no choice but to pay $50 upwards for just the one. I'm practically living in it because it's that comfy ;) So, if you are interested, look out for the K-mart brand seamless maternity bra that looks like a sports bra :)
Before I go, I want to say that my heart goes out to all those affected by hurricane Sandy. I hope everyone stays safe. And if you celebrate halloween, have fun!
Peace, Love & Light xo
Saturday, 20 October 2012
23 weeks 5 days pregnancy update
I'm 23 weeks and 5 days.
I'm thinking a lot more about the birth. My fiance and I have been discussing it a lot the last 2 days. We're starting to get things organised, I've started researching different herbals to use for the postpartum period and we're about to start buying some things we think we may need - when I revise my list.
Mostly I'm interested in something to ease the afterpains. The afterpains I had with my DS were surprisingly strong. I had none following my first so to have really painful ones second time has me a little nervous about what's in store for after #3. I'm very interested in one suggestion from a doula and mama to 5, magnesium phosphate homeopathic remedy. So I'll be adding that to my list of things to get.
Today and yesterday we have been talking about DS's birth from my his point of view. I love to talk about my births, I also love hearing it from different points of view. It's incredible the things you don't notice! My fiance was telling me how he watched DS's head crown and start to come out as I pushed on my hands and knees and then how DS stopped, turned slightly and as I stood his head came out the rest of the way. He said we waited for about 30 seconds supporting DS's head as his shoulders slowly turned and for the final contraction to come, he said it was very slow to watch, yet for me it felt like it happened so fast.
Bubba seems to have had a growth spurt, I feel like I'm suddenly huge. I have some more stretch marks starting but I don't mind. They fade to silver pretty fast, and they're my mama stripes, I earned them so I'm actually a bit proud of them :) He's kicking a lot more now, I feel him mostly quite low just above my pubic bone and under my belly button and to my sides, not very often right out the front though unless it's a really strong kick. I'm a bit disappointed I won't feel the movements at the front like I do at the sides, so I'll feel bubba a lot less than otherwise until he's much bigger when I can easily feel and see a distinct baby shape roll and move around. That's my favourite point in pregnancy, my last 2 pregnancies I was no longer suffering morning sickness by the time I was 30 weeks and with a belly full of baby. I feel my most energetic, beautiful and strongest when I am early in the 3rd trimester.
DS is nursing often still, I am beginning to suspect I should prepare myself for either more focibly encouraging weaning or get used to the idea of tandem nursing. I secretly wish I could have a break before baby is here, but I want to also soak up every second of my son's nursing stage... he won't be a little nursling forever. It is a bit uncomfortable with a belly, if I don't get the positioning just right it feels like I'm being crushed. Lying down is how I nurse him when I can, otherwise I'll make myself a nest of pillows.
Nursing at 18 months, I love his sweet little face <3
I've started to get some heartburn this week, and for some reason I've been craving cows milk. Since we don't have any apples at the moment I have been relying on the milk to neutralise the acid, as well as the craving. It is next to impossible to sleep when your chest feels like it's on fire. It does work, but apples are my favourite heartburn remedy.
The pain I've been getting in my pelvis/hip has been on and off good and bad. For 4 days I was limping and in a fair bit of pain. I rolled over in bed one morning and my hips cracked and I've only had occasional aches since. I suspect what was going on was my hips were just a bit out and it was putting pressure on the sciatic nerve, when it popped back into place the pressure wasn't there but it still feels a little bit bruised. I can walk fine now, which means I don't have to worry that it won't go away next time if it happens again. I was starting to wonder by day 4, even thinking of seeing a physiotherapist through the local public hospital (it would cost me an arm and a leg to go about it privately). I'm looking into alternatives, because to be honest, the physiotherapy I had when I was pregnant with DS was a waste of time.
Here's a belly pic taken earlier this week (23+1) I'm absolutely in love with my dress (it's new) and apparently it really shows off my bump :)
Well that's it for now, until next time :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
I'm thinking a lot more about the birth. My fiance and I have been discussing it a lot the last 2 days. We're starting to get things organised, I've started researching different herbals to use for the postpartum period and we're about to start buying some things we think we may need - when I revise my list.
Mostly I'm interested in something to ease the afterpains. The afterpains I had with my DS were surprisingly strong. I had none following my first so to have really painful ones second time has me a little nervous about what's in store for after #3. I'm very interested in one suggestion from a doula and mama to 5, magnesium phosphate homeopathic remedy. So I'll be adding that to my list of things to get.
Today and yesterday we have been talking about DS's birth from my his point of view. I love to talk about my births, I also love hearing it from different points of view. It's incredible the things you don't notice! My fiance was telling me how he watched DS's head crown and start to come out as I pushed on my hands and knees and then how DS stopped, turned slightly and as I stood his head came out the rest of the way. He said we waited for about 30 seconds supporting DS's head as his shoulders slowly turned and for the final contraction to come, he said it was very slow to watch, yet for me it felt like it happened so fast.
Bubba seems to have had a growth spurt, I feel like I'm suddenly huge. I have some more stretch marks starting but I don't mind. They fade to silver pretty fast, and they're my mama stripes, I earned them so I'm actually a bit proud of them :) He's kicking a lot more now, I feel him mostly quite low just above my pubic bone and under my belly button and to my sides, not very often right out the front though unless it's a really strong kick. I'm a bit disappointed I won't feel the movements at the front like I do at the sides, so I'll feel bubba a lot less than otherwise until he's much bigger when I can easily feel and see a distinct baby shape roll and move around. That's my favourite point in pregnancy, my last 2 pregnancies I was no longer suffering morning sickness by the time I was 30 weeks and with a belly full of baby. I feel my most energetic, beautiful and strongest when I am early in the 3rd trimester.
DS is nursing often still, I am beginning to suspect I should prepare myself for either more focibly encouraging weaning or get used to the idea of tandem nursing. I secretly wish I could have a break before baby is here, but I want to also soak up every second of my son's nursing stage... he won't be a little nursling forever. It is a bit uncomfortable with a belly, if I don't get the positioning just right it feels like I'm being crushed. Lying down is how I nurse him when I can, otherwise I'll make myself a nest of pillows.
Nursing at 18 months, I love his sweet little face <3
I've started to get some heartburn this week, and for some reason I've been craving cows milk. Since we don't have any apples at the moment I have been relying on the milk to neutralise the acid, as well as the craving. It is next to impossible to sleep when your chest feels like it's on fire. It does work, but apples are my favourite heartburn remedy.
The pain I've been getting in my pelvis/hip has been on and off good and bad. For 4 days I was limping and in a fair bit of pain. I rolled over in bed one morning and my hips cracked and I've only had occasional aches since. I suspect what was going on was my hips were just a bit out and it was putting pressure on the sciatic nerve, when it popped back into place the pressure wasn't there but it still feels a little bit bruised. I can walk fine now, which means I don't have to worry that it won't go away next time if it happens again. I was starting to wonder by day 4, even thinking of seeing a physiotherapist through the local public hospital (it would cost me an arm and a leg to go about it privately). I'm looking into alternatives, because to be honest, the physiotherapy I had when I was pregnant with DS was a waste of time.
Here's a belly pic taken earlier this week (23+1) I'm absolutely in love with my dress (it's new) and apparently it really shows off my bump :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Saturday, 13 October 2012
Week 22
I've had a really hard week this week. This week is week 22, Monday marks 23 weeks of this pregnancy gone, just another 17ish more weeks to go.
Morning sickness has made a comeback... not that it ever went, but it is bad again. At least this time I'm not nauseated the whole day. Mornings are a horrible time for me. My fiance just knows every morning where to find me if I'm not in bed... I admit, there have been plenty of times this pregnancy where I've cried over the toilet bowl.
Sleep is becoming more difficult, I can't find a position that doesn't hurt or make me feel dizzy. Up until last week I was happily sleeping on my right side. I know, you're *supposed* to sleep on the left because baby could compress a major artery but I could not sleep on my left without feeling sick and being in pain, now I feel, for lack of a better word, weird while I sleep on that side. A clear signal to me, telling me to stop sleeping that way. Unfortunately, now that I'm sleeping on my other side and can't really move, because I can't roll, my hips have decided now is the time to start hurting big time.
I am waddling around the house now, I had sacroiliac pain last pregnancy, I thought that was bad... clearly I just needed to get pregnant again.. I find it difficult to put weight on one leg (usually my left) because of the pain in my hip sometimes, thankfully I can avoid triggering the pain so I'm not always hurting. At night is when it is at its worst, and picking up my heavy toddler doesn't help.
I went to the local Healthy Living store for my birthday in September and bought a bath soak, I got a Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. Magnesium bath soak. Website is here: Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. I'm buying the whole collection when I get the money ;) I really did feel so much better after my bath, and the smell is so relaxing. My muscles stopped aching for that day and the next, and for a few days my skin was super soft as well. I got the de-stress one, the essential oils added are: Rosewood, Bergamot, Patchouli, Frankincence, Geranium, Lavender and Ylang Ylang. I have the empty packet at my desk just to keep smelling it, it's that good.
DS is still nursing as much as ever. For a while breastfeeding was painful and felt like a chore. I was starting to hate it. I was starting to want DS to wean, just to have my boobs back. I still have really sensitive breasts, nursing is just like nursing a newborn except he's bigger and has teeth. The sensitivity is sometimes enough to scare me into not wanting to nurse, but when I do it does go away after a moment or so and nursing is pleasant again. Nursing through pregnancy is way more up and down than I could have ever guessed. I'm glad I am doing it, mainly because I know I would have missed out on so much (the cuddles and being able to get him to sleep easily..also my baby kicking his brother while he nurses... I doubt DS feels it yet but I do) if I weaned my son when he was 13 months, when we first started TTC. I have no mature milk now, it's all colostrum again. Thick and yellowish white, liquid gold. It seems to not bother DS in the slightest, not even runny bowel movements which happens because colostrum has a laxative effect to clear out the meconium from a newborn's bowel. I'm enjoying each snuggly nursing session while I can still, last month I was not sure if we would get to 18 months of breastfeeding. My milk was transitioning and my nipples hurt and DS was teething. As I write this, he has a cold, so he's back to nursing like a newborn. I've counted 5 times so far today and it's not even 1:30pm.
I'm not sure what's going to happen when the baby is here.... DS gets extremely jealous when his sister has a cuddle from me, he'll have a tantrum! It's distressing at times when I NEED to be reassuring my DD and he comes up and has a fit because I'm cuddling his sister not him. I'm not sure if this is a phase or if I need to start doing something to help him cope with seeing another baby getting loves from mummy.
I've got more to write about but I have to get going, our little family is off to the festival at the beach this afternoon so we've got to start getting ready now :)
Apologies if there are grammatical and spelling errors, I'll edit later on if need be.. I'm not overly picky if there's one or 2 mistakes ;)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Morning sickness has made a comeback... not that it ever went, but it is bad again. At least this time I'm not nauseated the whole day. Mornings are a horrible time for me. My fiance just knows every morning where to find me if I'm not in bed... I admit, there have been plenty of times this pregnancy where I've cried over the toilet bowl.
Sleep is becoming more difficult, I can't find a position that doesn't hurt or make me feel dizzy. Up until last week I was happily sleeping on my right side. I know, you're *supposed* to sleep on the left because baby could compress a major artery but I could not sleep on my left without feeling sick and being in pain, now I feel, for lack of a better word, weird while I sleep on that side. A clear signal to me, telling me to stop sleeping that way. Unfortunately, now that I'm sleeping on my other side and can't really move, because I can't roll, my hips have decided now is the time to start hurting big time.
I am waddling around the house now, I had sacroiliac pain last pregnancy, I thought that was bad... clearly I just needed to get pregnant again.. I find it difficult to put weight on one leg (usually my left) because of the pain in my hip sometimes, thankfully I can avoid triggering the pain so I'm not always hurting. At night is when it is at its worst, and picking up my heavy toddler doesn't help.
I went to the local Healthy Living store for my birthday in September and bought a bath soak, I got a Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. Magnesium bath soak. Website is here: Byron Bay Healthy Salt Co. I'm buying the whole collection when I get the money ;) I really did feel so much better after my bath, and the smell is so relaxing. My muscles stopped aching for that day and the next, and for a few days my skin was super soft as well. I got the de-stress one, the essential oils added are: Rosewood, Bergamot, Patchouli, Frankincence, Geranium, Lavender and Ylang Ylang. I have the empty packet at my desk just to keep smelling it, it's that good.
DS is still nursing as much as ever. For a while breastfeeding was painful and felt like a chore. I was starting to hate it. I was starting to want DS to wean, just to have my boobs back. I still have really sensitive breasts, nursing is just like nursing a newborn except he's bigger and has teeth. The sensitivity is sometimes enough to scare me into not wanting to nurse, but when I do it does go away after a moment or so and nursing is pleasant again. Nursing through pregnancy is way more up and down than I could have ever guessed. I'm glad I am doing it, mainly because I know I would have missed out on so much (the cuddles and being able to get him to sleep easily..also my baby kicking his brother while he nurses... I doubt DS feels it yet but I do) if I weaned my son when he was 13 months, when we first started TTC. I have no mature milk now, it's all colostrum again. Thick and yellowish white, liquid gold. It seems to not bother DS in the slightest, not even runny bowel movements which happens because colostrum has a laxative effect to clear out the meconium from a newborn's bowel. I'm enjoying each snuggly nursing session while I can still, last month I was not sure if we would get to 18 months of breastfeeding. My milk was transitioning and my nipples hurt and DS was teething. As I write this, he has a cold, so he's back to nursing like a newborn. I've counted 5 times so far today and it's not even 1:30pm.
I'm not sure what's going to happen when the baby is here.... DS gets extremely jealous when his sister has a cuddle from me, he'll have a tantrum! It's distressing at times when I NEED to be reassuring my DD and he comes up and has a fit because I'm cuddling his sister not him. I'm not sure if this is a phase or if I need to start doing something to help him cope with seeing another baby getting loves from mummy.
I've got more to write about but I have to get going, our little family is off to the festival at the beach this afternoon so we've got to start getting ready now :)
Apologies if there are grammatical and spelling errors, I'll edit later on if need be.. I'm not overly picky if there's one or 2 mistakes ;)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Friday, 5 October 2012
Ultrasound + 21 week update
On Thursday the 27th we went in for a routine morphology/anatomy ultrasounsd. I wanted to mainly rule out growth issues since I have Crohn's and do have difficulties absorbing nutrients due to the inflammation in my bowel. My DD was born small, my gastroenterologist told me after being diagnosed that my Crohn's had affected the amount of nutrients she was getting, hence a small baby. I want to avoid that if I can. As it was, everything was perfect.
And, if you haven't already found out, we're having another boy! We we offered a couple of 3D shots, I think it was the sonographer's way to double check he has a left hand without overly worrying us, clicking onto the fact that I was watching the screen very closely frowning a bit from concern. It was hard to see, the hand, it took a fair while to get the shot. For a minute there, we thought he was missing an arm or hand. He's not though, the 3D shots she got clearly showed a well formed hand, and a beautiful little face.
We were talking with the lady who did the scan how we think we're having a girl but daddy was hoping for another boy, when she knew she turned to us and said, 'So, who said what again?' We answered and she laughed and said 'Daddy was right' and we all just laughed for a minute there, me mainly out of shock. I was so sure I was having another girl, but didn't hope for either. Good thing too or I would have been majorly disappointed. I teared up a little, it was the first proper surprise we've had at an ultrasound so we were overjoyed. With the other two it was more like, 'See, I was right' rather than 'OMGGGGG WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BOYYYY!!!!!!!!!!' like this time around.
A tradition we have is the day we know the sex, we go out and buy their first outfit. With DD we bought a pink bonds jumpsuit, with DS we bought a little hoodie jumpsuit but he ended up wearing a white bonds jumpsuit because it was too cold for the one we bought, it had no legs and we didn't pack leggings. This time, it was strange to think, this baby we grew ourselves, is going to someday wear this. Someday, in our near future, we plan to welcome him to our world our way. Reality hit a bit. Of course, I am now so excited for labour that I'm dreaming about it. My partner can't wait either, he thinks it is the coolest thing ever that we're following our hearts and freebirthing. I also, like to call it Family Birth. There's nothing unsupported or lonely about this birth, because I will not be on my own, I'll be surrounded by people I trust and love with all my heart. We discussed today, what happens if I'm too alert after the birth, I am a little afraid I will not enter deeply enough into the right state of mind for labour or that I will and something goes wrong and my partner isn't fast enough to notice. As it is, he's more familiar with the birth process, and the emotional stages of labour than I usually give him credit for. He could totally be a doula ;)
I 100% trust that if there is something wrong, he will notice, since he knows me better than anyone else in the world. Even better than I know myself sometimes. He's not stupid, he's got incredible intuition, he seems to have some sort of 6th sense when things aren't 100%. I still have a lot more to go through with him, I swear eventually he will get sick of me showing him birthy stuff.
We're getting things sorted now, we'll have our birth kit complete by 35 weeks. That's our aim, anyway. We have discovered most of what we thought we might need, we won't. I recently discovered this: http://www.homebirth.net.au/2008/04/resuscitation-of-newborn.html well written blog entry regarding newborn resus. Which led me to: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1175935/ 'Air or 100% oxygen for asphyxiated babies? Time to decide'.
So, initially we were looking to have oxygen on hand but now feel it's unecessary. Since room air is better for the baby, we're NOT going to have oxygen. Knowing 100% O2 could even be toxic, we're not taking a chance with it if something were to happen. If room air is better, then room air it is.
My morning sickness is easing, but still not gone completely. I am ravenously hungry all the time it seems, I'm always full because I'm always eating. I woke from a nap today, one that didn't even last an hour mind you, and was starving to the point of nausea when I got up.
Nothing much else has been happening. DS is still happily nursing, we have less than 2 weeks until he turns 18 months. He is beginning to wean, it's not going to happen suddenly, I know that now - initially I worried because my milk did suddenly decrease and start to thicken when I was 18 weeks. I can hardly express any now, and I am 22 weeks on Monday. I'm not quite ready for him to wean, I'm so glad he's taking his time because I need that time too. He's started sleeping through the night in his own bed this last week, and today fell asleep on his own watching a dvd. His teeth seem to be done coming through at the moment, thank goodness, I don't think I could deal with teething again while I'm pregnant.
That's all for now. I'll update with a belly shot soon, I've got to find the cable for our camera ;)
Peace, Love & Light xo
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Congrats!
I just wanted to say, just quickly, that I am unable to view some comments on my blog. I get the email but when I go to reply, it's not there.
Because I can't reply, I decided to write this post.
It has come to my attention that a mama who reads my blog is expecting her second baby. I wanted to say congrats!! :D *big virtual hugs* All the best for your pregnancy mama :D
Peace, Love and Light xo
Because I can't reply, I decided to write this post.
It has come to my attention that a mama who reads my blog is expecting her second baby. I wanted to say congrats!! :D *big virtual hugs* All the best for your pregnancy mama :D
Peace, Love and Light xo
19 weeks 6 days, Update, Pregnancy dreams, thoughts on birth.
Just one more day and I'm halfway! Also, I have my ultrasound this coming Thursday.
I have a strong feeling baby is a girl, I'm going to be surprised it it isn't.
I had a dream on the 25th, where I was 'told' the sex of the baby. In my dream, my fiance was going to bake a cake to reveal the sex following the ultrasound. I was in the kitchen where he was going to make it, and he had written the sex on a blackboard and then covered it with paper so I couldn't see. When I walked past the blackboard, as I was leaving, the paper fell revealing the sex. Girl, it said. Plain as day.
I have since found it difficult to refer to baby as anything but a little girl, but until the ultrasound I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. If baby is a boy, yes, I will be thrilled, but I can't say I won't feel a little disappointed.. only because I am so 'sure'.
I had dreams with my other 2, my first was the most vivid, and memorable. I was in a forest, talking to a little girl, around 7 or 8 years old. She had long, straight dark blonde hair and she had blue eyes. I was telling her about the trees, and how when the tree is cut you count the rings to see how old it was. I was between 9 and 15 weeks pregnant at the time, if I had to guess I would have said girl.
Fast forward to 37 weeks and 5 days, I give birth. My baby girl, a little blonde, blue eyed beauty. Fast forward again, she's 3.5, her hair, eyes are exactly the same as the girl in my dream.
I do believe dreams can tell us things, I do not know if it is my own inner knowledge or baby connecting with me to tell me though.
I didn't have quite as vivid dreams with DS. I just knew he was a boy, even well before conception. Almost like he chose me, and my heart knew to look forward to him joining me in this life. The night before the ultrasound that told us without a doubt, baby was a boy, I was second guessing my own intuituion. That night, I dreamed of my baby boy. I couldn't see his face, unlike with my DD, but I had no doubt he was a boy after that.
Now, I think you can understand why I have faith in my dreams. They aren't always wrong, especially when it comes to baby's sex.
We'll just have to wait until Thursday so see if once again, I was right.
And now onto my pregnancy update!
As I mentioned, I'm nearly halfway. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going!
I am still suffering from morning sickness (or hypermesis...) today, I have been sick all morning. It is draining beyond belief. I hope I get some relief soon.
I am gaining weight, slowly, and my belly is big and round. It is very obvious now that I am pregnant. We were out shopping and one of my partner's friends who we haven't seen in a while spotted us, the first thing out his mouth was 'You're pregnant!' hahaha ;) I thought it was awesome, since I can't see what others can, it's nice not to worry if I just look fat.
DS and I are still nursing, I have next to no milk left, I think it is mostly colostrum now, but it changes throughout the day so I can't be certain. After DS nurses to sleep, I will have thin white milk but after a while it will thicken and go a more yellow colour. He's happy to keep nursing, but I hope he weans before I get too much further along. DS turned 17 months on the 17th, this the longest I have nursed, as DD weaned shortly before she turned 17 months. When we get to 18 months, I will have reached the goal I had so hoped to reach with DD, then, I think I won't feel guilty if he weans.
Emotionally, I feel all over the place.
A few of my friends have had babies in the past couple of weeks. I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for one who went in for an induction at 41 weeks, which turned into a cesarean. I don't know how she feels about it, and I don't think she is ready to speak about it. I hope she never feels like she failed.
Another friend had a baby this week, she had a difficult labour with her first, second time around active labour was 2.5 hours. She is thrilled to say the least, because she went drug-free, like she wanted.
I look to other people's birthing experiences, to learn to support them. I can't know the right things to say when I haven't been there and experienced it myself. I worry, all the time, that I will say the wrong thing. When a friend has a great experience, I share their joy, because I have felt it. When a friend shares their difficult/painful/traumatic experience, all I can do is give them a hug, and validate their feelings. I tell them, it's ok to feel like this, it's your experience and nobody has the right to tell you it didn't matter, as long as baby was healthy. It's ok to grieve for that birth you dreamed of, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel it.
One of my best friends had a very traumatic birth, enough that she is not having any more babies because of it. I was lost, I didn't know what to say to her, so I just let her talk. Afterwards, we had a stronger friendship, and I could see a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. I can see, how important it is, to let a woman grieve for the birth she wanted, and to feel whatever she feels about the birth she did have, and be allowed to share her feelings without any judgement. Because of that friend, I felt it was my mission in life to help, in any way I could, to either be there to prevent it from becoming traumatic or to be there when she needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
I realised, more than ever, Birth Matters.
Speaking with my fiance, about my feelings about our upcoming freebirth, it got me thinking. I am doing something that is far from accepted, and far from what is normal. It makes people uncomfortable, but why? Why does it frighten people who don't even know me, enough to tell me I'm doing something dangerous, stupid and selfish. Is it their own experiences or is it just because society has been led to believe birth is dangerous. What is it exactly, that scares people about birth the most? And why is it, when you aren't afraid, they think there is something wrong with you.
I have never felt more secure with my decision to freebirth, as you know from reading my blog, we planned to freebirth even before conception. Now that I'm pregnant, it's real, not something we're just discussing. The knowledge that we're doing it alone, is exciting, it's empowering. The only thing I feel we need a professional for, is to do the newborn health check in the days after the birth... something I am not trained in doing, I'd rather leave that to a midwife.
I had no idea my mother in law knew about our freebirth plans, DF told me last night she knows and she has complete faith in us. I'm completely blown away. It's one thing to be totally cool with us not vaccinating, but to be totally supportive of a freebirth is amazing. I know if she could be there, she would be, holding my hand as I ride the waves. She is coming up, after the birth, I get the feeling she knows we need our space before the birth. Also, she's not worried about us, so she feels there is no need to be there. She does not see birth as an emergency, and I am greatful.
Hmm... I've run out of things to write about right now. I tend to write what I am thinking. I will eventually get to part 2 of my breastfeeding experience with my DD. It was a traumatic event that happened which I plan to write about, but as of yet, I'm not quite ready. I am still trying to organise my thoughts on that. I still hold a lot of anger. I will update on thursday after the ultrasound, and if I manage, I hope to attend the Freedom for Birth screening which is happening locally that same night. If I do go, I will write a review :) I will also start sharing belly photos, I've learned how to use our new camera with the tripod so I can take decent ones haha.
Until next time. Peace, Love and Light xo
I have a strong feeling baby is a girl, I'm going to be surprised it it isn't.
I had a dream on the 25th, where I was 'told' the sex of the baby. In my dream, my fiance was going to bake a cake to reveal the sex following the ultrasound. I was in the kitchen where he was going to make it, and he had written the sex on a blackboard and then covered it with paper so I couldn't see. When I walked past the blackboard, as I was leaving, the paper fell revealing the sex. Girl, it said. Plain as day.
I have since found it difficult to refer to baby as anything but a little girl, but until the ultrasound I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. If baby is a boy, yes, I will be thrilled, but I can't say I won't feel a little disappointed.. only because I am so 'sure'.
I had dreams with my other 2, my first was the most vivid, and memorable. I was in a forest, talking to a little girl, around 7 or 8 years old. She had long, straight dark blonde hair and she had blue eyes. I was telling her about the trees, and how when the tree is cut you count the rings to see how old it was. I was between 9 and 15 weeks pregnant at the time, if I had to guess I would have said girl.
Fast forward to 37 weeks and 5 days, I give birth. My baby girl, a little blonde, blue eyed beauty. Fast forward again, she's 3.5, her hair, eyes are exactly the same as the girl in my dream.
I do believe dreams can tell us things, I do not know if it is my own inner knowledge or baby connecting with me to tell me though.
I didn't have quite as vivid dreams with DS. I just knew he was a boy, even well before conception. Almost like he chose me, and my heart knew to look forward to him joining me in this life. The night before the ultrasound that told us without a doubt, baby was a boy, I was second guessing my own intuituion. That night, I dreamed of my baby boy. I couldn't see his face, unlike with my DD, but I had no doubt he was a boy after that.
Now, I think you can understand why I have faith in my dreams. They aren't always wrong, especially when it comes to baby's sex.
We'll just have to wait until Thursday so see if once again, I was right.
And now onto my pregnancy update!
As I mentioned, I'm nearly halfway. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going!
I am still suffering from morning sickness (or hypermesis...) today, I have been sick all morning. It is draining beyond belief. I hope I get some relief soon.
I am gaining weight, slowly, and my belly is big and round. It is very obvious now that I am pregnant. We were out shopping and one of my partner's friends who we haven't seen in a while spotted us, the first thing out his mouth was 'You're pregnant!' hahaha ;) I thought it was awesome, since I can't see what others can, it's nice not to worry if I just look fat.
DS and I are still nursing, I have next to no milk left, I think it is mostly colostrum now, but it changes throughout the day so I can't be certain. After DS nurses to sleep, I will have thin white milk but after a while it will thicken and go a more yellow colour. He's happy to keep nursing, but I hope he weans before I get too much further along. DS turned 17 months on the 17th, this the longest I have nursed, as DD weaned shortly before she turned 17 months. When we get to 18 months, I will have reached the goal I had so hoped to reach with DD, then, I think I won't feel guilty if he weans.
Emotionally, I feel all over the place.
A few of my friends have had babies in the past couple of weeks. I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for one who went in for an induction at 41 weeks, which turned into a cesarean. I don't know how she feels about it, and I don't think she is ready to speak about it. I hope she never feels like she failed.
Another friend had a baby this week, she had a difficult labour with her first, second time around active labour was 2.5 hours. She is thrilled to say the least, because she went drug-free, like she wanted.
I look to other people's birthing experiences, to learn to support them. I can't know the right things to say when I haven't been there and experienced it myself. I worry, all the time, that I will say the wrong thing. When a friend has a great experience, I share their joy, because I have felt it. When a friend shares their difficult/painful/traumatic experience, all I can do is give them a hug, and validate their feelings. I tell them, it's ok to feel like this, it's your experience and nobody has the right to tell you it didn't matter, as long as baby was healthy. It's ok to grieve for that birth you dreamed of, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel it.
One of my best friends had a very traumatic birth, enough that she is not having any more babies because of it. I was lost, I didn't know what to say to her, so I just let her talk. Afterwards, we had a stronger friendship, and I could see a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. I can see, how important it is, to let a woman grieve for the birth she wanted, and to feel whatever she feels about the birth she did have, and be allowed to share her feelings without any judgement. Because of that friend, I felt it was my mission in life to help, in any way I could, to either be there to prevent it from becoming traumatic or to be there when she needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
I realised, more than ever, Birth Matters.
Speaking with my fiance, about my feelings about our upcoming freebirth, it got me thinking. I am doing something that is far from accepted, and far from what is normal. It makes people uncomfortable, but why? Why does it frighten people who don't even know me, enough to tell me I'm doing something dangerous, stupid and selfish. Is it their own experiences or is it just because society has been led to believe birth is dangerous. What is it exactly, that scares people about birth the most? And why is it, when you aren't afraid, they think there is something wrong with you.
I have never felt more secure with my decision to freebirth, as you know from reading my blog, we planned to freebirth even before conception. Now that I'm pregnant, it's real, not something we're just discussing. The knowledge that we're doing it alone, is exciting, it's empowering. The only thing I feel we need a professional for, is to do the newborn health check in the days after the birth... something I am not trained in doing, I'd rather leave that to a midwife.
I had no idea my mother in law knew about our freebirth plans, DF told me last night she knows and she has complete faith in us. I'm completely blown away. It's one thing to be totally cool with us not vaccinating, but to be totally supportive of a freebirth is amazing. I know if she could be there, she would be, holding my hand as I ride the waves. She is coming up, after the birth, I get the feeling she knows we need our space before the birth. Also, she's not worried about us, so she feels there is no need to be there. She does not see birth as an emergency, and I am greatful.
Hmm... I've run out of things to write about right now. I tend to write what I am thinking. I will eventually get to part 2 of my breastfeeding experience with my DD. It was a traumatic event that happened which I plan to write about, but as of yet, I'm not quite ready. I am still trying to organise my thoughts on that. I still hold a lot of anger. I will update on thursday after the ultrasound, and if I manage, I hope to attend the Freedom for Birth screening which is happening locally that same night. If I do go, I will write a review :) I will also start sharing belly photos, I've learned how to use our new camera with the tripod so I can take decent ones haha.
Until next time. Peace, Love and Light xo
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