I just wanted to say, just quickly, that I am unable to view some comments on my blog. I get the email but when I go to reply, it's not there.
Because I can't reply, I decided to write this post.
It has come to my attention that a mama who reads my blog is expecting her second baby. I wanted to say congrats!! :D *big virtual hugs* All the best for your pregnancy mama :D
Peace, Love and Light xo
Saturday, 22 September 2012
19 weeks 6 days, Update, Pregnancy dreams, thoughts on birth.
Just one more day and I'm halfway! Also, I have my ultrasound this coming Thursday.
I have a strong feeling baby is a girl, I'm going to be surprised it it isn't.
I had a dream on the 25th, where I was 'told' the sex of the baby. In my dream, my fiance was going to bake a cake to reveal the sex following the ultrasound. I was in the kitchen where he was going to make it, and he had written the sex on a blackboard and then covered it with paper so I couldn't see. When I walked past the blackboard, as I was leaving, the paper fell revealing the sex. Girl, it said. Plain as day.
I have since found it difficult to refer to baby as anything but a little girl, but until the ultrasound I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. If baby is a boy, yes, I will be thrilled, but I can't say I won't feel a little disappointed.. only because I am so 'sure'.
I had dreams with my other 2, my first was the most vivid, and memorable. I was in a forest, talking to a little girl, around 7 or 8 years old. She had long, straight dark blonde hair and she had blue eyes. I was telling her about the trees, and how when the tree is cut you count the rings to see how old it was. I was between 9 and 15 weeks pregnant at the time, if I had to guess I would have said girl.
Fast forward to 37 weeks and 5 days, I give birth. My baby girl, a little blonde, blue eyed beauty. Fast forward again, she's 3.5, her hair, eyes are exactly the same as the girl in my dream.
I do believe dreams can tell us things, I do not know if it is my own inner knowledge or baby connecting with me to tell me though.
I didn't have quite as vivid dreams with DS. I just knew he was a boy, even well before conception. Almost like he chose me, and my heart knew to look forward to him joining me in this life. The night before the ultrasound that told us without a doubt, baby was a boy, I was second guessing my own intuituion. That night, I dreamed of my baby boy. I couldn't see his face, unlike with my DD, but I had no doubt he was a boy after that.
Now, I think you can understand why I have faith in my dreams. They aren't always wrong, especially when it comes to baby's sex.
We'll just have to wait until Thursday so see if once again, I was right.
And now onto my pregnancy update!
As I mentioned, I'm nearly halfway. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going!
I am still suffering from morning sickness (or hypermesis...) today, I have been sick all morning. It is draining beyond belief. I hope I get some relief soon.
I am gaining weight, slowly, and my belly is big and round. It is very obvious now that I am pregnant. We were out shopping and one of my partner's friends who we haven't seen in a while spotted us, the first thing out his mouth was 'You're pregnant!' hahaha ;) I thought it was awesome, since I can't see what others can, it's nice not to worry if I just look fat.
DS and I are still nursing, I have next to no milk left, I think it is mostly colostrum now, but it changes throughout the day so I can't be certain. After DS nurses to sleep, I will have thin white milk but after a while it will thicken and go a more yellow colour. He's happy to keep nursing, but I hope he weans before I get too much further along. DS turned 17 months on the 17th, this the longest I have nursed, as DD weaned shortly before she turned 17 months. When we get to 18 months, I will have reached the goal I had so hoped to reach with DD, then, I think I won't feel guilty if he weans.
Emotionally, I feel all over the place.
A few of my friends have had babies in the past couple of weeks. I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for one who went in for an induction at 41 weeks, which turned into a cesarean. I don't know how she feels about it, and I don't think she is ready to speak about it. I hope she never feels like she failed.
Another friend had a baby this week, she had a difficult labour with her first, second time around active labour was 2.5 hours. She is thrilled to say the least, because she went drug-free, like she wanted.
I look to other people's birthing experiences, to learn to support them. I can't know the right things to say when I haven't been there and experienced it myself. I worry, all the time, that I will say the wrong thing. When a friend has a great experience, I share their joy, because I have felt it. When a friend shares their difficult/painful/traumatic experience, all I can do is give them a hug, and validate their feelings. I tell them, it's ok to feel like this, it's your experience and nobody has the right to tell you it didn't matter, as long as baby was healthy. It's ok to grieve for that birth you dreamed of, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel it.
One of my best friends had a very traumatic birth, enough that she is not having any more babies because of it. I was lost, I didn't know what to say to her, so I just let her talk. Afterwards, we had a stronger friendship, and I could see a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. I can see, how important it is, to let a woman grieve for the birth she wanted, and to feel whatever she feels about the birth she did have, and be allowed to share her feelings without any judgement. Because of that friend, I felt it was my mission in life to help, in any way I could, to either be there to prevent it from becoming traumatic or to be there when she needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
I realised, more than ever, Birth Matters.
Speaking with my fiance, about my feelings about our upcoming freebirth, it got me thinking. I am doing something that is far from accepted, and far from what is normal. It makes people uncomfortable, but why? Why does it frighten people who don't even know me, enough to tell me I'm doing something dangerous, stupid and selfish. Is it their own experiences or is it just because society has been led to believe birth is dangerous. What is it exactly, that scares people about birth the most? And why is it, when you aren't afraid, they think there is something wrong with you.
I have never felt more secure with my decision to freebirth, as you know from reading my blog, we planned to freebirth even before conception. Now that I'm pregnant, it's real, not something we're just discussing. The knowledge that we're doing it alone, is exciting, it's empowering. The only thing I feel we need a professional for, is to do the newborn health check in the days after the birth... something I am not trained in doing, I'd rather leave that to a midwife.
I had no idea my mother in law knew about our freebirth plans, DF told me last night she knows and she has complete faith in us. I'm completely blown away. It's one thing to be totally cool with us not vaccinating, but to be totally supportive of a freebirth is amazing. I know if she could be there, she would be, holding my hand as I ride the waves. She is coming up, after the birth, I get the feeling she knows we need our space before the birth. Also, she's not worried about us, so she feels there is no need to be there. She does not see birth as an emergency, and I am greatful.
Hmm... I've run out of things to write about right now. I tend to write what I am thinking. I will eventually get to part 2 of my breastfeeding experience with my DD. It was a traumatic event that happened which I plan to write about, but as of yet, I'm not quite ready. I am still trying to organise my thoughts on that. I still hold a lot of anger. I will update on thursday after the ultrasound, and if I manage, I hope to attend the Freedom for Birth screening which is happening locally that same night. If I do go, I will write a review :) I will also start sharing belly photos, I've learned how to use our new camera with the tripod so I can take decent ones haha.
Until next time. Peace, Love and Light xo
I have a strong feeling baby is a girl, I'm going to be surprised it it isn't.
I had a dream on the 25th, where I was 'told' the sex of the baby. In my dream, my fiance was going to bake a cake to reveal the sex following the ultrasound. I was in the kitchen where he was going to make it, and he had written the sex on a blackboard and then covered it with paper so I couldn't see. When I walked past the blackboard, as I was leaving, the paper fell revealing the sex. Girl, it said. Plain as day.
I have since found it difficult to refer to baby as anything but a little girl, but until the ultrasound I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment. If baby is a boy, yes, I will be thrilled, but I can't say I won't feel a little disappointed.. only because I am so 'sure'.
I had dreams with my other 2, my first was the most vivid, and memorable. I was in a forest, talking to a little girl, around 7 or 8 years old. She had long, straight dark blonde hair and she had blue eyes. I was telling her about the trees, and how when the tree is cut you count the rings to see how old it was. I was between 9 and 15 weeks pregnant at the time, if I had to guess I would have said girl.
Fast forward to 37 weeks and 5 days, I give birth. My baby girl, a little blonde, blue eyed beauty. Fast forward again, she's 3.5, her hair, eyes are exactly the same as the girl in my dream.
I do believe dreams can tell us things, I do not know if it is my own inner knowledge or baby connecting with me to tell me though.
I didn't have quite as vivid dreams with DS. I just knew he was a boy, even well before conception. Almost like he chose me, and my heart knew to look forward to him joining me in this life. The night before the ultrasound that told us without a doubt, baby was a boy, I was second guessing my own intuituion. That night, I dreamed of my baby boy. I couldn't see his face, unlike with my DD, but I had no doubt he was a boy after that.
Now, I think you can understand why I have faith in my dreams. They aren't always wrong, especially when it comes to baby's sex.
We'll just have to wait until Thursday so see if once again, I was right.
And now onto my pregnancy update!
As I mentioned, I'm nearly halfway. I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going!
I am still suffering from morning sickness (or hypermesis...) today, I have been sick all morning. It is draining beyond belief. I hope I get some relief soon.
I am gaining weight, slowly, and my belly is big and round. It is very obvious now that I am pregnant. We were out shopping and one of my partner's friends who we haven't seen in a while spotted us, the first thing out his mouth was 'You're pregnant!' hahaha ;) I thought it was awesome, since I can't see what others can, it's nice not to worry if I just look fat.
DS and I are still nursing, I have next to no milk left, I think it is mostly colostrum now, but it changes throughout the day so I can't be certain. After DS nurses to sleep, I will have thin white milk but after a while it will thicken and go a more yellow colour. He's happy to keep nursing, but I hope he weans before I get too much further along. DS turned 17 months on the 17th, this the longest I have nursed, as DD weaned shortly before she turned 17 months. When we get to 18 months, I will have reached the goal I had so hoped to reach with DD, then, I think I won't feel guilty if he weans.
Emotionally, I feel all over the place.
A few of my friends have had babies in the past couple of weeks. I couldn't help but feel heartbroken for one who went in for an induction at 41 weeks, which turned into a cesarean. I don't know how she feels about it, and I don't think she is ready to speak about it. I hope she never feels like she failed.
Another friend had a baby this week, she had a difficult labour with her first, second time around active labour was 2.5 hours. She is thrilled to say the least, because she went drug-free, like she wanted.
I look to other people's birthing experiences, to learn to support them. I can't know the right things to say when I haven't been there and experienced it myself. I worry, all the time, that I will say the wrong thing. When a friend has a great experience, I share their joy, because I have felt it. When a friend shares their difficult/painful/traumatic experience, all I can do is give them a hug, and validate their feelings. I tell them, it's ok to feel like this, it's your experience and nobody has the right to tell you it didn't matter, as long as baby was healthy. It's ok to grieve for that birth you dreamed of, it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling. Allow yourself to feel it.
One of my best friends had a very traumatic birth, enough that she is not having any more babies because of it. I was lost, I didn't know what to say to her, so I just let her talk. Afterwards, we had a stronger friendship, and I could see a huge weight lifted off her shoulders. I can see, how important it is, to let a woman grieve for the birth she wanted, and to feel whatever she feels about the birth she did have, and be allowed to share her feelings without any judgement. Because of that friend, I felt it was my mission in life to help, in any way I could, to either be there to prevent it from becoming traumatic or to be there when she needs an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
I realised, more than ever, Birth Matters.
Speaking with my fiance, about my feelings about our upcoming freebirth, it got me thinking. I am doing something that is far from accepted, and far from what is normal. It makes people uncomfortable, but why? Why does it frighten people who don't even know me, enough to tell me I'm doing something dangerous, stupid and selfish. Is it their own experiences or is it just because society has been led to believe birth is dangerous. What is it exactly, that scares people about birth the most? And why is it, when you aren't afraid, they think there is something wrong with you.
I have never felt more secure with my decision to freebirth, as you know from reading my blog, we planned to freebirth even before conception. Now that I'm pregnant, it's real, not something we're just discussing. The knowledge that we're doing it alone, is exciting, it's empowering. The only thing I feel we need a professional for, is to do the newborn health check in the days after the birth... something I am not trained in doing, I'd rather leave that to a midwife.
I had no idea my mother in law knew about our freebirth plans, DF told me last night she knows and she has complete faith in us. I'm completely blown away. It's one thing to be totally cool with us not vaccinating, but to be totally supportive of a freebirth is amazing. I know if she could be there, she would be, holding my hand as I ride the waves. She is coming up, after the birth, I get the feeling she knows we need our space before the birth. Also, she's not worried about us, so she feels there is no need to be there. She does not see birth as an emergency, and I am greatful.
Hmm... I've run out of things to write about right now. I tend to write what I am thinking. I will eventually get to part 2 of my breastfeeding experience with my DD. It was a traumatic event that happened which I plan to write about, but as of yet, I'm not quite ready. I am still trying to organise my thoughts on that. I still hold a lot of anger. I will update on thursday after the ultrasound, and if I manage, I hope to attend the Freedom for Birth screening which is happening locally that same night. If I do go, I will write a review :) I will also start sharing belly photos, I've learned how to use our new camera with the tripod so I can take decent ones haha.
Until next time. Peace, Love and Light xo
Thursday, 6 September 2012
17 weeks 5 days update
17 weeks 5 days.
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
It's time for another update already!
My oh my, has this pregnancy gone so fast. I know, I say that almost every time.
So, breastfeeding has become a subject of my focus again. My milk seems to be drying up, but DS is not ready to give up it seems. I'm glad, I'm far from ready for him to wean, but I do think our breastfeeding adventure is nearing its end. I'm nursing as I type, DS is singing, he's ready for a nap, but lately he seems to fight it, or, nursing isn't doing what it used to. I wasn't going to let him be a twiddler, when he started around 13 months just prior to me getting pregnant I noticed how much comfort it gave him, so I didn't really make too much effort stopping him. Now, I'm glad I didn't, because boob itself isn't enough to fall asleep, twiddling AND boobie is... but only just. I'm not sure what will happen when he weans, when he gets upset, all I can do is nurse him.
I remember when DD weaned, my fears were realised. When she cried, I could do nothing but cuddle her. It was harder than what I was prepared for. I admit, I was counting on DS to wean when he was ready.. you know, able to settle without boob... so far, not happening.
I feel devistatingly sad at the thought of DS weaning. I've cried a lot over the past week, trying to come to terms with it. I'm really dreading it.
I've been trying to tell myself, well at least your nipples will get a break. At least he's older than 1. I've given him the absolute best start in life, I've done a great job getting through 18 weeks of pregnancy while nursing a toddler. No more accidental bites as DS drifts off into a deep sleep, just before he unlatches. No more all night nursing sessions. No more toddler nursing acrobatics, no more squished belly. But all I can think is:
I didn't have to get pregnant when I did, I could have waited we could still have our nursies the way they were. I am taking something away from him, I'm selfish to want another baby before DS was weaned. DS is not ready and it is all my fault that he is frustrated at the lack of milk. It's not his fault he likes to dance on the boobie, it's not his fault my boobs hurt. He's only 17 months.. still so young.
Someone tell me my feelings are valid? I feel like I'm being unreasonable...I guess I just want someone to tell me it is ok to feel confused and to be sad at the prospect of DS weaning...
So about the rest of the week. I'm not feeling as sick, quite frankly I'm thrilled about that. I'm carrying a bottle of water wherever I go now, I got dehydrated even when I was trying to drink more, I decided I should have no excuse if I have water with me all the time, and if I get through 2 in a day, I'm getting what I need.
I'm finding it hard to sleep, it's uncomfortable and I pee constantly. I'm trying to stay positive, at least I get naps.
I am still yet to book an appointment to get the referral for the ultrasound. I need to know my partner's work schedule so he can take us to the appointment (we have only one car). I'm running out of time to book in with the midwives at the local hospital - in case of transfer. I don't want to have to deal with OBs before I need them.
I'm starving all the time it seems, I'm gaining weight (over 60kgs now yay! 2 kgs in 3 weeks is pretty good considering my weight has stayed stable until now) I have a massive apetite so I'm eating non stop. I'm trying to keep it healthy, but I admit I have snacked on sweets. My belly is growing, slowly but surely. Suspicions of twins are out the window now, if there are 2 babies we'll be extremely surprised.
I have not used the doppler this week, there is no need. I can't feel any consistent movement yet but I have no reason to continue to blast sound waves at bebe.
Other than not much has been going on. So that's it for this update :)
Peace, Love & Light
xo
Saturday, 1 September 2012
16 weeks 5 days
I'm 16 weeks and 5 days today. It's going pretty fast, maybe too fast. Soon I'll be halfway, or over half way if I birth before my 'EDD'.
I've started taking iron supplements, I'm not feeling quite as exhausted now. I actually feel pretty good. I've still got morning sickness, but it is getting so much better.
My belly is growing fast, I can feel a lot of stretching going on. It can get pretty painful, my skin is feeling quite tight too so I got some coconut oil and so far it's helping a lot. In fact, my skin has never felt so good. I usually have really dry skin, even though I live in the tropics. Now, my skin feels healthy, it's so weird! I love it. Now that my belly is getting bigger it is getting harder to do some things. My uterus is reaching my navel now, I can't wait until I can feel the kicks stronger. At the moment, I hardly feel a thing, a flutter here and there but nothing I notice too much.
I am still yet to book the ultrasound. I really need to get my butt into gear, I know I have no reason to believe there is a problem, but just in case. It's the only intervention I do agree with really, but I don't know what the statistics say about improving outcomes.
I'm still nursing, some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I'm taking each day as it comes. If DS nurses less during a day I feel sad at the though of him weaning already. Lucky for me he's not ready. I won't force him. I'm opening my mind up to tandem nursing, but I'll only do it with support from my partner, and he's not comfortable with it enough to support me, he's desperate for DS to wean as it is. He's not going to make me feel bad for not though, he is encouraging me to offer other things instead of a nurse though, at the moment DS nurses mainly to have a nap and during the night for comfort, so he's realised at the moment it's better to just let me nurse DS.
I watched a birth video the other day that had me a bit freaked out, honestly. It was one of the British TV shows called Home Birth Diaries. In one of the episodes,This on where the baby went into distress, baby was was born floppy and needed resuscitation. It was eye opening seeing it happen, and see the midwives work. It was good to see the skills used and to see how it is supposed to work. We're still doing a refresher course for our Senior First Aid though.
I am excited about the birth, I can't wait to see what my little baby looks like. Both my kids looked totally different, DD was blonde and had fuzzy straight hair and tiny, DS was chunky (he had fat rolls everywhere) and had black curly hair. It's impossible to imagine what my baby will look like. I'm expecting a chunky baby though, I know that at least, I am quite healthy like I was when I was pregnant with DS. I don't think too much about what labour will be like, mainly because I know it will probably be nothing like it. There's no point trying to guess what labour will be like, it works in mysterious ways ;)
DD is excited about having a new baby brother or sister, she likes to touch my belly and talk to baby. I wonder what is going through her mind when she does that... DS has no idea or ability to comprehend me being pregnant, he just knows mummy's milk is starting to change, and there isn't as much but he still gets boobie when he's tired and wants to sleep. He gets jealous when DD and I cuddle, sometimes I worry about how he will be with the new baby. He will still be relatively young, only 22 months... but I do remember DD was very different to how she was at 16 months as to 22 months. He's still got a lot of developing to do in a short time. I keep forgetting sometimes how much kids learn in such short spaces of time.
Well, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often. It's quite relaxing to write, I really only get the time when the kids are asleep and my partner is at work though, this is alone time for me :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
I've started taking iron supplements, I'm not feeling quite as exhausted now. I actually feel pretty good. I've still got morning sickness, but it is getting so much better.
My belly is growing fast, I can feel a lot of stretching going on. It can get pretty painful, my skin is feeling quite tight too so I got some coconut oil and so far it's helping a lot. In fact, my skin has never felt so good. I usually have really dry skin, even though I live in the tropics. Now, my skin feels healthy, it's so weird! I love it. Now that my belly is getting bigger it is getting harder to do some things. My uterus is reaching my navel now, I can't wait until I can feel the kicks stronger. At the moment, I hardly feel a thing, a flutter here and there but nothing I notice too much.
I am still yet to book the ultrasound. I really need to get my butt into gear, I know I have no reason to believe there is a problem, but just in case. It's the only intervention I do agree with really, but I don't know what the statistics say about improving outcomes.
I'm still nursing, some days it's hard, some days it's easy. I'm taking each day as it comes. If DS nurses less during a day I feel sad at the though of him weaning already. Lucky for me he's not ready. I won't force him. I'm opening my mind up to tandem nursing, but I'll only do it with support from my partner, and he's not comfortable with it enough to support me, he's desperate for DS to wean as it is. He's not going to make me feel bad for not though, he is encouraging me to offer other things instead of a nurse though, at the moment DS nurses mainly to have a nap and during the night for comfort, so he's realised at the moment it's better to just let me nurse DS.
I watched a birth video the other day that had me a bit freaked out, honestly. It was one of the British TV shows called Home Birth Diaries. In one of the episodes,This on where the baby went into distress, baby was was born floppy and needed resuscitation. It was eye opening seeing it happen, and see the midwives work. It was good to see the skills used and to see how it is supposed to work. We're still doing a refresher course for our Senior First Aid though.
I am excited about the birth, I can't wait to see what my little baby looks like. Both my kids looked totally different, DD was blonde and had fuzzy straight hair and tiny, DS was chunky (he had fat rolls everywhere) and had black curly hair. It's impossible to imagine what my baby will look like. I'm expecting a chunky baby though, I know that at least, I am quite healthy like I was when I was pregnant with DS. I don't think too much about what labour will be like, mainly because I know it will probably be nothing like it. There's no point trying to guess what labour will be like, it works in mysterious ways ;)
DD is excited about having a new baby brother or sister, she likes to touch my belly and talk to baby. I wonder what is going through her mind when she does that... DS has no idea or ability to comprehend me being pregnant, he just knows mummy's milk is starting to change, and there isn't as much but he still gets boobie when he's tired and wants to sleep. He gets jealous when DD and I cuddle, sometimes I worry about how he will be with the new baby. He will still be relatively young, only 22 months... but I do remember DD was very different to how she was at 16 months as to 22 months. He's still got a lot of developing to do in a short time. I keep forgetting sometimes how much kids learn in such short spaces of time.
Well, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often. It's quite relaxing to write, I really only get the time when the kids are asleep and my partner is at work though, this is alone time for me :)
Peace, Love & Light xo
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