7 weeks 5 days :)

Well, this is what everyone must be waiting for ;)
I got my BFP!!!!!!

Just when I was starting to REALLY doubt we were sucessful, since the odds are 25% chance each cycle for the average couple, as there's no garantee when the egg is released the fallopian tubes catch it. I was seriously preparing for AF to arrive, I started cramping a fair bit.
Just 2 days before AF was due I did another test, I had a feeling, it's rather difficult to explain, and so I did, this brand is particularly sensitive but I still waited a week after getting the false negatives. It was the middle of the day on the saturday when something in my head said, it's time, you'll get the positive today.
Lo and behold, I got my positive. BUT it's still a secret from family and most friends so if you are one of my friends reading this, please refrain from mentioning this on and social networking site. We're going to send a photo with a pregnancy announcement to our families interstate.


I am currently 7.5 weeks along, morning sickness kicked in on week 6, earlier than usual. It's awful, awful AWFUL! I don't remember being this sick with the other two. I hope this time my morning sickness goes away at least and not hang around the whole pregnancy. I am struggling to find something to eat that doesn't make my stomach churn, I'm going to buy ginger when we go shopping so I can make ginger tea, my life saver for morning sickness. I have horrible acne, I hope it clears up like it usually does once the first trimester is over, it's not just my face that's covered, my arms and back too, it's really depressing looking in the mirror or having a shower and seeing it...

I am still breastfeeding and am letting DS self wean, if he doesn't then I'll be tandem nursing. My OH isn't comfortable with the idea but I've become quite familliar with this so to me it's quite normal.  He will not ask me to wean thankfully, he says it's my right to decide if I stop or keep going, so I said I'm going to keep it up. It's the best way to calm a distressed child :). I am sure if DS is still nursing when LO is born my OH will have become used to me nursing an older child and newborn, he will do what he always does when the boundaries placed by society fall away and he sees it for what it is, me feeding and comforting my children. He's a beautiful person, my undying support, I am so blessed to have him in my life.

I have a feeling this baby might be a girl, my partner keeps insisting twins - twin boys (haha he wishes). I'm a little afraid of twins, I don't think I have that much faith in birth that I'd freebirth twins, I'd have to really consider my options and learn more about twin births before even considering it to be quite honest, as much as I would love to, so I would have to go to the hospital. That, in itself, is terrifying to me. As I mentioned in a previous post the hospitals here are really awful for birthing women, I would bet they would insist on induction or a c-section simply because I have a history of fast births and there's twins... not that I would agree to either, spontanoues natural labour is how I roll ;) I don't fear actually birthing twins, just the care I would likely recieve. I don't think I have twins though, so I still am having a free pregnancy and freebirthing unless I discover my partner is actually right.

I have updated my due date to the 11th of Feburary, since there were 6 days between the 2 due dates (the first being LMP and the second being from the last day ovulation was probable) I stuck with one in the middle. 6 days isn't enough for me to feel the need to use the latest due date, since I have so far not made it to 40 weeks, and I know the earlier due date is wrong and I can't bring myself to use a due date I know is inaccurate. I wonder how doctors manage to give out EDDs without knowing the length of a woman's cycle then try and justify induction if they're 'late', they can't even know if the baby is actually term or not until it's over, it's too often babies are supposedly late but appear premmature at birth. So, instead of 40 weeks, the mother could have only actually been 38 weeks. This is why is is NOT a good idea to induce before 42 weeks without medical indication. I'm sure mothers would wait just a bit longer if they knew they were risking a NICU stay for their baby.

I'm so happy to be pregnant, even though I feel so sickly. I'm noticing slight changes in my belly already, in a few weeks my uterus will begin to poke above the pubic bone, a few more after that I might start feeling the baby move and then a few more after that I'm having the morphology scan to confirm everything is where is should and I won't need to be in hospital for immediate care for my baby.

I'm a little bit nervous about giving birth, only because I know I dilate with BH contractions and last time I was at least 4cm before labor started (I checked myself a day before out of curiosity, I couldn't feel my cervix but I did feel bub's head and the bag of waters) so I'm REALLY hoping, I have enough time to fill the bath and have the water birth I have dreamed of having since I was pregnant with my daughter. I'm hoping I don't get stuck somewhere I don't want to give birth but am comfortable, I've had nightmares of visiting someone in hospital only to start labour and not being allowed to leave. Subconsciously I am afraid someone will try and take my rights as a birthing woman away, as is so common these days. Legally I'm covered, legally it's my right to say no, but there are people who ignore that and I am afraid of them. Birthing women are having to fight for our right to have a normal birth instead of an intervention filled drugged out birth, likely to end in a section. Drugs have a place in birth but NOT when the doctor tells the mother she needs it. We have to fight to say no to VOLUNTARY testing (emphasise voluntary because they aren't necessary for your baby's health or your own), we have a right to say no to IV's cervical exams and staying in bed. We are allowed to demand food for energy during labour, we're allowed to move around and help the baby out using gravity, we're ALLOWED to give birth at home with the caregiver we choose. It's the awesome thing about having rights to our sexual and reproductive health (which includes childbirth), and nobody has the right to take that away :)

I'm feeling a bit better, not quite so nauseated so I'm now going outside to play with the kids :)

Peace Love and Light.