DD's birth story

Monday morning on the 23rd of March, somewhere between midnight and 3am I started to get crampy back pain, I dismissed it thinking it was nothing because I had some back pain due to my hips loosening, so I went to sleep.

After a restless sleep I woke up at 9 when my partner (OH) got up for work and still had the back pain, after an hour I went to the loo and noticed a show, still thinking it was nothing, because I believed a show isn't a definite 'you're in labour' sign, real labour could start a few days from now so I went and had a shower but told my partner, he didn't want to leave because he thought I was in labour but I reassured him and he went to work. He sent messages every half hour or less asking if I was ok and if it was time because when he left I was in a bit more pain and every time I peed I got a bad cramp in my belly (not once did I think it was a contraction)

I updated facebook status saying I might be in labour because the 'pain' was getting worse but I because the pain was bad in my back I didnt really notice any contractions...any I noticed were mistaken for BH.

Then it got to the point where I noticed the contractions-sharp pains in my lower belly (not my whole belly like BH which is what I expected) it was around 11am, so I texted mum saying I wasn't sure if it was it but I would soon know...she rang and asked me questions and said she'd come over (meanwhile I'm bawling my eyes out because I didnt know what to think) she said it sounded like I was in labour but I didnt want to believe it.

My partner texted me asking again if I thought it was it, I said I still didn't know. Mum arrived and then we chatted for a bit then went shopping for a few things (heat pack for my back) and in the hope that if I was in fact in labour, moving around would get things moving quicker.

We got home and my OH said he was coming home (he sent me a message while we were out and mum told me to tell him it was the early stages, oh I was so excited!!!)

OH got home and I told my best friend I was in labour, she asked if I wanted her to come over, and because I was so excited I said yes. After a while OH convinced me to call my midwife. I was having contractions about 5 minutes apart at this point I think, maybe a little further apart. I could still laugh through them so I wasn't too bothered by the pain, it really wasn't that painful. I expected OMG I AM DYING type pain, but this was like I'd just been running around and got a stitch. I was struggling to keep out of everyone's way while they packed my labour bag - I hadn't really bothered yet because I was only 37 weeks and 5 days along and it was my first birth because I was so full of energy. I called my midwife and I started crying, overwhelmed with how fast everything seemed to go, she was on her way soon after to come check if I was in labour so could labour at home.

When my midwife arrived she said she'd have to do an exam, I wanted to avoid them but I was desperate to know if I was in labour and we both knew an exam was going to give me that information.
I was 4cm dialated and my waters were bulging at bub's head and she was fully engaged (as you'd expect) and I was in the active stage of labour! I couldnt believe it, I was in labour and didn't even know it!! I expected it to be much worse. I came out of the bedroom with my midwife laughing because I couldn't believe it.

My midwife expected that in 4 hours I'd be at the hospital and ready to go but if the pain go too much, by all means head in earlier just call ahead and tell them to page her saying I'm on my way. She expected that bub would be here that night, she obviously knew my labour wasn't going to be a long labour. I had to time my contractions, they were coming every 2 minutes and lasting not quite a minute on average, when they were a minute or more I it would be the best time to head to the hospital.

I managed a few hours at home, I am not sure exactly how much but I think it was about 5:30-6 when I needed the bath in the birth centre and I wanted my midwife...even though I had mum, OH and my friend there with me, it wasn't the right support.

We called ahead and we left, by this stage I was having contractions every 2 minutes and now lasting about a minute and they were agony during the car trip, I spent the whole way crying, I needed to MOVE!. Every time I cried out OH panicked and asked if I was ok, all I said was there was nothing I could do about it and to keep driving. I thought it was pretty funny at the time.

We got to the hospital and I was dropped off out the front while OH went to find a park (mum and my friend followed in their cars) I was apparently told to go up while they went to find the park but I didn't hear so I paced out the front waiting having quite a few longer and closer contractions. Several people asked if I was ok, all I said was I'm in labour and I'm waiting for someone. I thought that was amusing too.

OH and mum finally came to me (after telling me I was told to go up already and me insisting they didn't) and then we headed up to the Womens Assessment Clinic where we met my midwife. She got me to sign some papers, not easy in the middle of a contraction but I got something that resembled a signature on it, then we headed up to the birth centre where my MW checked my BP and bub's heartrate which were good and then I hopped in the bath, without another exam...oh it was bliss on my backpain, but my contractions slowed down..I didn't mind though and it wasn't an issue.

Then pretty quickly the contractions started coming hard and fast with little or no break in between and I was starting to hyperventilate which wasn't helping. I called my midwife because I needed more reassurance that it would be over soon,  I wasn't coping too well and I asked for the gas (something I really regret now) and she said she'd do another exam to see where I was at, probably well aware I was in transition.  I got out of the bath, something I regretted instantly. I was almost fully dialated, there was just a tiny cervial lip to go so I allowed her to break my waters, I think this was about 7:45. I didn't feel entirely supported at this time, my midwife let my 'supports' do all the reassuring and they sat back and watched. I really felt alone at this point, and freaking out because everything was hurting and so intense.

When she broke my waters it was the weirdest feeling, in a way I regret allowing them to be broken because I wanted a natural birth and this wasnt natural but in hindsight it's what kept me going, I was young and although prepared for natural birth, had no idea what it was really like, I had never seen a birth before. She then sent me to the toilet telling me I needed to empty my bowels so off I went, after a while of pushing all of a sudden I could feel her head moving down. I freaked out and stood up and said 'I can feel the head!!' Sitting on the loo helped move her down  past the lip as it melted away, possibly speeding up the next stage, then the urge to push hit me.

I tried to run over to the bed and I can't remember exactly what happened but I ended up on my hands and knees pushing..I desperately needed someting to grab onto, like a bar but there was nothing at the head of the bed besides Apparently at one stage I was holding onto my OH and then had a contraction and almost snapped his neck. I was screaming while I pushed, I was pretty scared at this time. I remember thinking with absolute horror that I had to push that baby out now.

Pushing was intense, because I was not on my back or standing up, there wasn't much pressure in my bottom so it never felt like a big bowel movement as is so often described (I experienced that second time around haha) I don't remember too much of it to be quite honest, I remember crowning and screaming, then all of a sudden she plopped onto the bed and my midwife scooped her up and passed her between my legs.

I had a tiny little purplish baby in my arms crying ever so sweetly, I just kneeled there for a moment and took her all in, I held her out from my body, not sure what to do next. She was here, I was a mum, and I had no idea what to do. This was the part that scared me most, even while pregnant.

I handed her to my partner, much to his shock and lied down and took her back for a cuddle. The cord was cut by her dad when it was limp and I birthed the placenta then my midwife noticed DD attempt the newborn crawl so she helped me start breastfeeding. It was then that I knew I was going to breastfeed, no matter what it took. Good thing too, our breastfeeding relationship was rough for the first 9 weeks, I had to relactate after surgery, deal with tongue tie and bad latch which ended up leaving me with huge scars on my nipples. At my 6 week checkup, my midwife said she was so proud of me for sticking through it, most people would have given up by then dealing with that. The more I learnt about breastfeeding the more important it was for me to continue, my first goal was 6 weeks, then it was 6 months, then 9 months, then a year, then it became 18 months but DD weaned a few weeks before. My ultimate goal was 2 years but I wasn't sure if I could get there, I didn't but that's no big deal.

After an hour or so, my midwife took her to get weighed, measured and injected with the hep b vaccine (something I had no choice in, I was never asked) I'm not entirely sure if she recieved the vitamin k shot or not. I'll have to look at her birth record in her baby book..

She weighed 2580g and was 48 cm long with a 32 cm head circumference.

My life changed that day. So much. But I didn't yet feel like a woman, I still felt like a child due to how I was treated in the hospital by the staff, I will post about that another time, I still need to process it as I have never written about it before.


So there you have it, my daughter's birth story.

Peace, Love and Light