Here is his birth story <3
My 'due' date, came and went. I was thrilled though, I found it to be the most awesome thing to be able to say, 'Oh my due date was yesterday' haha the shock on people's faces amused me ceaselessly. My mother in law flew up on my due date, I paced around the airport while we waited smiling to myself because nobody else knew I was 40 weeks that day. From the day I worked out my due date, I kept saying how awesome it would be if I had him on Valentines Day, just 3 days after my due date. I didn't think it would actually happen since my previous pregnancies were 37+5 and 39+0, I kept hoping, just as I kept hoping I would get to 40 weeks.
I was feeling huge by 40+1, I had a sudden appearance of stretchmarks on my belly the week before which reminded me of whiskers, my belly button was in the middle like a nose of a kitty :P I felt womanly, beautiful and a bit nervous. R had been posterior the entire time I had been able to palpate his position. This did make me nervous, apparently posterior labours are longer - particularly pushing, more uncomfortable and tearing is much more likely, but I tried not to look too much into it.
I did tear with J's birth, significantly enough that a few millimetres saved me from a 3rd degree tear. Although recovery was pretty easy, my midwife was able to repair the tear so well that it didn't feel like anything had happened after a few weeks but I still didn't want to tear again, at least not as severely. I thought back on J's and D's births a lot, about what I would change, what I thought worked and what I thought would work again. I did know better than to make a plan in my head about how exactly things would go, but I am glad I prepared myself for another quick labour.
On the 12th, I got the shakes randomly. I had something to eat and drink and it didn't stop so I checked my blood pressure but it was fine, getting curious as to whether it was a possible sign of impending labour I googled it, sure enough some things said 12-48 hours after some mums got the shakes, they went into labour. I figured it could be hormonal and went on with my day as usual, hoping I'd be having my baby soon.
On the 13th, we went out shopping - S, J, D, mum-in-law and myself. I walked around and we bought a couple more outfits for R to wear, I had worried since it was still warm in QLD that some of the clothes we had aside for him would be too warm to wear (we kept a lot of J's baby clothes, but he was born in SA when and where it is much colder). I was getting braxton hicks fairly often, I would wiggle my hips and belly dance in the hopes I would get R to turn - he was still posterior. When we got home I had a nap, I hardly slept the night before and I was feeling a bit antsy.
On the 14th, around 2 am J woke up, still breastfed (mainly to go to sleep because by that time I had only colostrum) so I nursed him back to sleep, and as usual I started getting some braxton hicks contractions. I had been getting strong braxton hicks contractions since mid-38 weeks most often when nursing so I thought nothing of it. They were sporadic, no pattern and they didn't hurt at all. For me, my belly would grow tight and I'd feel a little breathless and then it would pass. Once J was asleep, he stayed in my bed with me, between S and I. After a while S got up and went to J's bed to get comfortable, as he had done so often the last couple of weeks (I took up enough room as it was let alone adding a toddler).
I don't remember still having braxton hicks at this point, I may have, I may not have. I tried to go back to sleep, using all the pillows on the bed to make myself a nest to get comfortable. I vaguely remember starting to notice the tightenings a while later. I was really uncomfortable and when the contractions didn't stop like they usually did I started to feel a little annoyed. I kept trying to sleep though.The contractions were still painless, but my pubic bone would start to ache, I checked the time, it was 2:22am.
I was still trying to see if I could sleep but ended up getting a drink and going to the loo in the hopes that they would stop. Still convinced I was just having BHC. Back in bed, lying on my side they started to feel stronger, the ache was more noticeable and impossible to stay still through. I gave up on sleeping, grateful I had a nap earlier and had a shower because usually a warm shower makes me sleepy and relaxed. The contractions slowed while I let the warm water run over my belly so I got out and attempted to sleep again, after just a couple of contractions I gave up, I started to feel almost a sting at the peak of the contraction.I went to the loo again, and had a thought to start timing these contractions. They weren't completely painless now, I thought something was happening but it was nothing like either of my previous labours. I decided to download an app, I figured if it was It, then I'd be able to time my contractions, if not; I'd just feel a little silly getting my hopes up and get on with my day as usual.
I timed a few, had a shower and had a few more before I jumped out and timed another one or 2. They were only 30 seconds long but 1 and a half minutes apart, they didn't seem long enough to be real labour but I did notice they were actually painful now, especially out of the water. I got back in the shower and the intensity started to peak, feeling a little alone and wanting S I got out and woke him up, saying "I'm getting pains and I can't sleep through them". I kneeled on the bed next to him and said he might want to get up soon, I hesitated telling him I felt lonely but did so anyway. S, knowing me better than myself sometimes, realised I was in labour, he watched me have a contraction and immediately got up. It was 4am.
Up until this point I remained unconvinced it was real labour, I thought false labour at the least because it felt so different. I breathed through every contraction, not making a sound and not feeling the need to.
I got back in the shower, and talked to S and breathed through contractions, they were getting painful now. It demanded all my focus, and I instinctively got on all fours and let the water fall over my back. I checked my cervix a few times since I first jumped in the shower that morning, I had been unable to feel it until now where I guessed I was at least 5 with a bulging bag of waters. The more labour progressed, I could feel my cervix melting away, it's quite cool :) It was only when I could feel the bag of water that I was convinced it was labour.
I had some towels at the edge of the shower and in between contractions I started to feel sleepy so I literally napped. I rested my head on the towels, still on my hands and knees and closed my eyes. Oxytocin had kicked in for sure.
I started making small sounds, in the back of my mind I coached myself 'low sounds, low sounds' the higher pitched the sounds are the more painful it is, low sounds (like the 'om' when people meditate) help you relax so it actually hurts less... I kept my mouth open, because open mouth = open cervix...well something like that, I highly recommend Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. J and D woke so S brought them into the bathroom where we chilled out and chatted inbetween contractions, they were the same length and had the same break between them but the intensity picked up. It wasn't long before I got loud.
J didn't like it when I had a contraction, these ones were really hurting and he got scared. In between the contractions I cuddled him and gave him a kiss to reassure him I'm fine, I kept telling them I was having the baby, and D thought it was the coolest thing ever. She kept excitedly dancing around :)
I knew I would not be able to have J and D with me much longer, labour was picking up so S called his mum.
My mother in law took 5 minutes to get to us (she was staying with a friend), later she told us she had just woken and just 'knew' something was up and then she got the call. This was a little after 5 I think.
I think I had just a couple contractions, these were not as strong, I was thinking about the kids and needed to be alone so labour stalled a little. As soon as my MIL got there and the kids were out of the room and entertained labour intensified.
I kept holding S's hands during contractions, I really needed his touch. As soon as a contraction built up, I grabbed for his hands and held tight and 'ommmm'ed' my way through the contraction.
I stopped thinking, I don't remember what was going through my head, I was in another world now.
I got a little pushy really soon after my mother in law got there, I checked myself and I was nearly complete but R's head was still high up. The next contraction was definitely a pushy contraction, I couldn't fight it so I didn't. I was on my hands and knees still, rocking my hips side to side and pushing with the urge.
I felt like I was pushing forever, I pushed a few times and checked myself (something that I really didn't think about, I just did it) and during each push I could feel his head moulding and moving ever so slightly down, bag of waters still intact. I was secretly hoping I would give birth to him in the caul (still in his bag of waters) because it's considered good luck.
S was messing around with the camera a few times since I started feeling pushy, I never really noticed but when I was pushing hard the camera batteries went flat. I still needed to hold onto him so he had to be really quick and rushed back the moment a contraction started. He did get the new batteries in and came back to me. Then it went flat again so we left it for a little bit.
I was getting tired, after about 15-20 minutes of full-on pushes, 3 pushes per contraction and contractions a minute apart lasting what felt like forever. Each push, I would feel him move a tiny bit. I started to feel stuck. I stood up a few times and felt like I couldn't go on. I felt like R just wasn't moving down, like he was stuck. I was getting frustrated. I complained to S, and tried to walk away. I said I give up, I am not doing this anymore, I can't do this anymore. He told me I could do it, I was doing it and that soon I would have a little baby to cuddle, to breastfeed and to love, he reminded me that I had been waiting for this and it would be so worth it. I knew he was right, he gave me some excitement back.
I walked out of the shower and paced around, then a contraction started and I quickly got back into the shower, this time I was standing while pushing, and it felt better but I fell to my knees again after it was over.
The contractions were intense now, I would shake and a couple of times cried a little. I felt like I was sitting in the water at the beach being hit by waves. I tried to go with them, still trying to relax as much as possible. This labour was less painful than J's, purely because didn't feel my hips seperating.
I felt like I should stand while I pushed, when I regained focus I realised I felt I needed to be off all fours which the reason he was hardly moving (if at all, it was likely all I was feeling was his head moulding). It was a little awkward trying to figure out what worked, I held onto S for physical support this time and after only a few contractions my water broke.
I checked myself again and felt his head, no longer with the bag of water in the way, and I could feel the little line on his head where the plates were squished together. I was ecstatic, I was touching my baby and I was the first to touch him. I laughed and cried much like I did when he was actually born. This was the most awesome moment I had ever experienced in labour, and this gave me strength.
I was now pushing with S holding me up, a supported squat I believe it is called. I think a birthing chair would have been ideal but this worked great. Every push did something, I could feel R moving down. In between contractions, I was resting and leaning against the wall when I felt R's little foot poke out the front/left. I am 99% sure he was ROP, slowly turning to come out. Feeling his foot made me giggle, and slightly sad that I'd probably never feel it again.
I pushed a little while longer, this time I felt like things were actually moving and it wasn't long at all before I dropped to my knees and instead of being really loud while I pushed, I grunted a little. R had dropped into the birth canal and was almost crowning. I was at the point where I knew the birth would be very, very soon. I was at peace and hardly focused on anything around me, I could do it on my own. I don't even remember what S was doing. Watching the video later, I can see I was entirely focused on pushing just as I needed to, unlike J's birth where I just gave it my all regardless if I needed to (ending up in that tear...) S did remind me to go slow, as I had asked him to in case I pushed too hard. I didn't need him to though, I told him I'm just doing what my body tells me to.
R began to crown, I felt the warm stretching feeling as he did, not what I would call 'the ring of fire' which I had with the other two. I cupped my hand over his head, this was a very slow, very controlled stage, I was scared out of my mind that I would tear, if I took my hand away for just a second to readjust my position or wipe water out of my face I would immediately cup my hand over his head again. I kept waiting to feel myself tear but never did.
I kneeled now, and all of a sudden I gave a push and he came out really fast. I don't remember what way he was facing but his body was facing up, he had a nuchal cord so I just pulled it over his head and then turned him to the side where he coughed out fluid and gave a loud cry. With the way the cord was around his neck it confirmed a dream I had the day before. I had dreamed that he would come out with a nuchal cord and because the placenta was anterior and to the left, he was nice and comfy ROP, only turning as he came out.
I checked his cord, it was a beautiful blue colour, pumping his blood back to him. He was covered in a bit of vernix and he was so chubby! I looked at him all over, from his crumpled little ears to his little heels. He was entirely perfect and was beautiful and pink.
I cried, I said hello, I vaguely remember seeing the kids at the door so I showed them and said I 'look, it's your baby brother' I just kneeled there and enjoyed the peace, feeling estatic. I was in no rush to do anything, it was perfect.
S took a couple of pictures on my mobile, just as I had leaned back to get comfortable. We saw a small gush of blood, we watched it and I checked the cord which was still thick and full of blood, I didn't worry myself yet, I remembered the same thing happening after J.
I got S to get a blanket, just in case R got cold and snuggled him close, skin to skin. S went to get the couch ready for me because I wasn't comfortable and wanted to sit, this was about 7am now. I got up and took a picture of R in my arms. I adore this photo.
I had no urge to push the placenta out yet, I wasn't getting contractions so I just waited, paid close attention to how I was feeling. I felt weak but not dizzy, I was hardly losing any blood so I walked to the couch and with help, sat down.
I called my mum and told her he was born, announcing his name - we had kept it to ourselves and wanted to announce it when he was born. I told her that he was born at 6:21am. My mum was thrilled but had no idea we had had a planned unassisted birth, we felt it was best not to tell them because they are ambulance officers and I felt it would cause them unnecessary stress knowing. She asked about his weight and because we hadn't weighed or measured him I told her we were at home and hadn't done it, she asked about my midwife and I said we didn't have one. She just assumed it went fast just like J's birth and encouraged me to head to the hospital soon. I think she was a bit surprised how relaxed I was, especially considering I still hadn't birthed the placenta haha
For me, it felt like the most normal thing in the world, it felt weird to be considering a trip to the hospital. I saw a doctor once during my pregnancy, my GP, only to get a referral for an ultrasound, the rest I took care of. I was not having blood tests or the screening they generally do at antenatal visits. Anything I was going to consent to, I could do myself. So I did, I liked having complete responsibility over my body and my baby, I never once worried or stressed about being told to do something due to someone else's fears. If I ever have another baby, I would do it my way again.
I did say to my mum that we were extremely prepared in the event of an 'accidental' unassisted birth but I think she still worried. I regret calling her so soon, because the trip to hospital weighed heavily on my mind and I really didn't want to think about it just yet.
I was uncomfortable after a little while, I had a cup of tea, took some arnica and snuggled with R, enjoying every moment but I wanted to stand, I was sure the placenta would be coming soon, I started to get some pains.
I got to the bathroom and tried to see if the placenta was ready, I pushed a little but nothing happened so I kneeled/sat on the floor. I swear it was only a couple of minutes before I had the urge to push again so I called S over and demanded he bring the bowl. He wasn't quick enough, so he had to pick the placenta up off the floor, going 'eeww' lol I admit, it was a bit ikky.
I passed R to S and for the first time I had my arms free and empty belly. I wanted a shower and I wanted to watch the bleeding. I stood up and watched the blood come out, it was a bit scary, I'd never experienced a physiological 3rd stage on my own, let alone truly experienced it. I had my midwife help me with J, with D I did nothing as it was heavily managed. I waited, I watched the blood fall and paid close attention to how I felt, chatting to S as well. I was never left alone, when the bleeding slowed dramatically which convinced me I was NOT about to haemmorage. I had my shepherd's purse tea waiting, kettle boiled, ready to be made if needed. I felt pretty good so I went to have my shower. It felt strange because not long before, I was giving birth in that shower.
I was all cleaned up and went to lie in bed with R, who was still attatched to the cord, we wanted to delay cord clamping as long as possible. I snuggled with him and tried to nurse him, he wasn't overly interested but nursed for a little while.
I really enjoyed this time, it was the first time things were relaxed and I never got to really enjoy this time with the others. All I ever wanted was to relax with my baby, in MY bed and take our time with unecessary things like cutting the cord. My dad called, I told him the good news, he asked me about the placenta, bleeding, how R was and such (mum had told him what I said earlier) he seemed more relaxed about it than mum, maybe because I sounded fine and could easily answer his questions.
A while later, nearly 3 hours since the birth we tied a cord I had made (it was soaked in boiling water) around his cord and S cut it. A little bit of blood fell, making me wish we had waited but the placenta and cord were very cold also the cord was white and limp.
I dressed R, we started to get ready to go to the hospital, wanting it to be over and done with. I checked the placenta and it was all there, so I just bagged it and chucked it in the freezer. I plan to encapsulate it (to this day, 8 weeks later I still haven't done it because we had no oven until a few days ago...I'll be doing it next week once I get the capsules lol)
When we got to the hospital, we just walked through the doors and they all perked up at their desks. I said 'I just had a baby, can someone check us over?' They didn't know what to think lol A midwife came over to me and noticed how new R was, she had thought I just got out of Base Hospital (where the babies are born) until I said, no, I had him just a few hours ago. The surprise on her face was hilarious.
I'll spare the details, it was a tedious 4 hours but everyone was surprised how calm I was, surprised that we didn't rush in straight away, that I didn't call the ambulance and even more so, that we cut the cord and I had already showered :P
I didn't tear enough to need stitches (I never felt any tear afterwards either so it must have been really small), R was fine (but I knew that) he was measured and weighed and there was a lot of paperwork.... oh so much paperwork. Initially they wanted R and I to stay 48 hours but I refused, I knew there was no reason to and was desperate to go back home. I said I would only stay 4, and it was not up for discussion. They gave me some food and R chilled out/slept on the neonatal bed (never seen one before lol I don't know what it is called but it had an inbuilt heart monitor and O2) next to me, they put the heater on so he wouldn't get cold while I ate and rested a bit. I swear most of the staff that came in 'just to grab one thing' used that as an excuse to come see R, one nurse told me we were 'the talk of the hospital' lol babies weren't born there, they really only saw the emergencies, the nurse told me it was nice to see the other side of things.
S had to get the placenta because they didn't believe me when I said I had checked it and it was intact.
When R was weighed, I couldn't believe them, 3650g which is 8lbs! He was 50cm long, which is longer than D and J who were only 48cm. R was my biggest baby yet :)
The male midwife (whom was really cool, he showed genuine interest when we talked about placenta encapsulation) asked us about the way he was born, curious about his position because he had a funny shaped head - he said it looked like he was posterior (the moulding was on the top, slightly to the right, the back of his head was rounded), I couldn't remember and felt like it didn't really matter so I said he came out normally and left it at that.
We went back home, and had our first night as a family of 5. I did have a nap and S took the kids out to get us some tea, he didn't feel like cooking, but I didn't sleep much, I was too in awe of R :P
I will never regret having an unassisted pregnancy and birth. I felt more in tune with my body and being entirely responsible was comforting. I never answered to anyone, I was never pressured into anything. It felt natural. I did miss having appointments with a midwife but it drove me to research more, anything I was uncertain about I looked up. I learnt so much about myself and about birth. I learned to trust birth even more than I had before. Above all else though, I learnt to trust my instincts as a mother. It's incredible how birth can change your life... no matter how many times you do it ;)
