Birth doesn't have to be a nightmare.

I've started re-reading a wonderful book, called Baby Catcher: Chronicles of a modern midwife.  by Peggy Vincent. It's one of my favourites by far.
I read it when I was heavily pregnant with DS, I used to joke how I'd finish them book then go into labour. It almost happened, I finished it when I was 38 weeks along. It's one of those books that grabs your full attention from the first chapter. It pulled at my heart, the story of Zelda nearly broke my heart.
Zelda was a black (thats how she was described in the book, I'm not being racist) woman labouring in hospital with Peggy as a student nurse, back in 1962.

Zelda was labouring beautifully, pacing on the bed because the rules back then disallowed women to move freely in labour, so she was confined to her bed. It was the time of the "twilight births" where a mother is heavily drugged and never remembers her birth, her baby is taken immediately to the nursery for 4 hours for observation. It was an awful time for mothers, and their babies. Peggy tried to stop her and make her be a good girl and lie down in bed, silently. But Zelda wanted none of that, she prayed, danced and sang through her contractions. Peggy watched in awe and feared what would happen to her if she allowed Zelda to continue that way. If she couldn't control her, she might get kicked out of university. Zelda and Peggy end up working together, Peggy would warn Zelda when her instructor would come near and Zelda would lie down and pretend to be a 'good patient'.
Zelda then begins to push, moaning loudly, and sadly someone hears. Doctors and nurses rush in, and wheel her into the delivery room. They strap her down, legs in stirrups while Zelda fought terrified, and they hold a gas mask over her face trying to sedate her. She held her breath, pushed out her baby and continued to hold her breath. She fought with all her might, but she was completely helpless, strapped down, unable to see her baby or rip the mask off her face. Peggy tells the doctor the baby was born but he turns up the gas higher, determined to sedate her. She can't hold her breath anymore, gasps for air and is sedated...she never saw her baby boy. The doctor says "Jeezis, I'm glad that one's over".
Zelda's baby is taken away, and Zelda is left, out cold, completely unaware her baby is a boy.

I was left horrified, one because that happened and 2, because the doctor treated her so badly and still drugged her even after the birth. She birthed her baby in a state of terror. The poor woman was treated with such disrespect, it makes me sick. No woman deserves that. That birth changed Peggy. Down the track she becomes a midwife.

The saddest thing about that, is the fact that there is still that idea that women should labour silently and give birth on the doctor's terms. Zelda's story is extreme compared to what happens now, but the same context. Women don't have any control as soon as they hand over the responsibility of their birth to someone else. They are told when to go into labour (coerced into induction when there is no medical indication for one to be necessary), how to labour (Bullied into pain medication, lie in bed, no eating or drinking, IV or heplock) and how to birth (Purple pushing/ coached pushing, nurses and doctors yelling PUSH 1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10!!! PUSH!!! while lying on their back, the worst position for birth as it does not allow the pelvis to open and they are effectively pushing against gravity making it even harder than it has to). They are told where to give birth, made to feel selfish for desiring a homebirth, told waterbirth is dangerous (it isn't!) Right now, birth is a mess. Women every day are being told what to do, and they feel powerless, they don't get the chance to make decisions when they have the right to. Those feelings stay with them forever.

Birth can be empowering, it can be wonderful and it can be the best day in your life. Stay informed, stay in control and learn to say NO to unecessary interventions. Also, hire a doula, statistics show when a doula is supporting a mother she is much less likely to have interventions or a cesarean birth. Interventions are sometimes needed, but much less than they are used, when you are aware of the circumstances which certain interventions are needed you can easily make the decision to agree or disagree. You can ask for interventions and be listened to, an example is: you're pushing, you're getting tired and know you can't do it anymore but the doctor keeps making you do it alone, even when you beg. That can be traumatic too, not being listened to in a time of distress. You don't have to be like Zelda, stripped of all power, left with others making decisions for you which are not necessarily in your best interests. You don't have to do what the doctor says, because they're the expert YOU are the expert of your own body. You can stay in control of your birth. Education is key. Birth doesn't always go the way it was planned, but even a cesarean with the right support can be empowering.
You can have a wonderful birth. Birth doesn't have to be a nightmare.

Peace, Love and Light
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